Happy Anniversary!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY FAVORITE COUPLE!

My parents are celebrating 51 years of marriage today - WHEW -- that is a long time!!

Mom, Daddy and Me....a long time ago!

Mom and Daddy - Hawaii -- late 70's!

Our family in the late 80's!

Mom and Daddy on their 25th Wedding Anniversary (1983)

In Italy - 2000

With my little munchkin - on her first Easter - 2005
Being Grandparents.... (pretty certain this is their favorite part!!!)
Love you guys!

Beverly

Fridays Fave Five-2009, Part One

I am even tired of my own moaning and groaning so today, I am going to go back to the tried and true five favorites of the week list! I realize I have already done a thankful list this week - but when you are trying to climb out of a pit, it is good for the soul to focus on the happy blessings in life.

1. Zooboomafoo. For those of you with children under the age of five, there is probably no explanation needed. For the other ten of you that read this blog...it is a kids show on PBS Sprout that is basically a trip to the zoo every time it comes on. This show was a fave of Hannah's for a long time when she was three. Just this week it has made a comeback in her tv watching lineup. I am thrilled - I love those Kratt Brothers and I love even more the small thirty minutes of peace I get whenever they are in the living room entertaining her!!

2. Cell Phones. Now, I know just last week I was bemoaning their existence. what with all the missed calls, ignored texts, windy days causing the long distance calls to go unanswered. But seriously, I am thankful for the cell phone I wear on my person. How neat to be walking through a store and get a phone call from my mom. So much fun to hear a friend's voice as I am riding down the road, feeling blue. I am thankful for them, even if I want them to improve just a little.

3. Mountain Dew. Okay - so this list is not very sophisticated..... but just this week this fun drink has made a comeback in my world. I bought some last week to have on hand as I have a friend who is a Dew drinker...and then after the visit, I was left with 11 dews in the fridge. My husband has always been a fan - but the caffeine is sometimes too much for him..so they are a rare find in our home. I have taken to drinking them - the bottles are so cute.... and I am loving it! Bring on the DEW!!

4. Motorcycles. Now this is one fave five that you never saw coming on this blog, I guarantee it! And let me preface this by saying I am not a fan of the two wheeler. But my husband is. He is planning a trip next weekend to a certain beach for a certain event. He is extremely happy to be going and I am extremely happy that he has found something fun to do. So, this week, and probably only this week, I am thankful for the cycle, cause when he is happy, we are all happy. (and both sets of our parents just openly gasped when they read that...SORRY!!)

5. Last but not least, I am thankful that the week is over. It has been a particularly long week. I am looking forward to seeing my parents next week, when they come home for a visit and I am just glad this long, boring, tiresome, slow week is over...

What are your fave fives from the week??? I can't wait to hear!

Living Happily In the Moment!

Beverly

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! I NEED Your Attention, Please!

I think this just might possibly be the fastest post I have ever written. I am writing it between fixing breakfast for the girl, packing her lunch and getting ready myself...whew!!!

Last night, after being thoroughly bored by Idol, I decided to log on to my fave site and check out what everyone was doing. I found a request to take a quiz. This is common...most of the time I just ignore. But last night, the quiz request was for a "What is your love language?" quiz. I have often wondered this...it is a popular craze - finding out how you best respond to love, accept it in your life and ultimately value the person who is fulfilling that need, family, friends, spouse, children.

There were about ten questions, most of them I thought were kinda silly and I began to doubt the use of the time to even take the quiz. But then I hit the result section and was BLOWN AWAY!!

Here is what it said:
You are a person of Time and Attention. This means you are most touched when people spend time with you and listen when you talk. You enjoy to do the same for others. Time and attention are a great way of communicating, but when someone else you love doesn't necessarily talk the way you do, it doesn't mean they don't love you. What would be their primary love language? The downside of this love language can be people assume you are lazy because you take your time. Try to find out how they treat you when they try to show love, and try to speak their love language back to them so they feel loved. One last point to mention is that God also communicates in your love language. He uses time and attention, too. He says in the Bible that He loves you, that you are the apple of His eye, and that He wants you to come to Him and talk to Him. He loves you and gave Jesus (God Himself in human form) to bridge the gap caused by the fall of sin through which we cannot fully obey the law He gave us. He made the solution through Jesus, and when accepting Him, you'll accept God Himself, Who loves you, and wants to communicate with you. You are the attention, His focus. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Yes, He is timeless, patient, for ever present, and eternal

Okay -- that is so me! In fact, about five minutes before I started the quiz I was "chatting" with an online friend and mentioned that one of the worst things someone can do to me is to just not respond -- either by not talking to me, not responding back on an email or text message, or just letting time pass without spending time with me. I love my family and my friends but I never seem to be satisfied with the amount of time I get from anyone. I am always wishing for more, or pining away until the next time I see them or talk to them. And believe me, you can ask my husband, when I ask a question or make conversation and he drifts off to watch tv, or doesn't say something -- I get annoyed! I also get really upset when I am talking and get interrupted... especially when my child breaks in and my hubby decides he likes talking to her more! I like to talk, I like people to listen to me, to know me and understand me. It might be the only child in me that craves the attention, but still, it is the way I know someone loves me for sure. Maybe that is why I like to blog so much - -you guys are a captive audience.... I get to talk!!

It was an amazing insight into myself. I guess I knew this all along, it was just interesting and fun to read it in that format. Now I can inform all those around me...maybe we won't have so many misunderstandings ....hahahaha!

What is your love language? Do you know?

Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly

Hope? Maybe?

I think I have sung this song on this blog before....but bear with me.... it is coming through again..

I've got so much, so much, so much to be thankful for!

And it is true. I do!

For the past few months I have been allowing myself to wallow a bit in the misery of life. The whys and why nots, the pitiful and woeful me, the should have beens and could have beens and even a bit of stomping my foot and declaring I know what is best for my life!! Well, I will not say that is over...that would be a big ole "story" as my child would say. The funk I have fallen in is far from over... but I am hopefully scaling the upside of the hole.

I found myself puttering about my kitchen this afternoon fixing dinner and thinking about my life. I do have an immense amount of joy in my life. I have lived a very happy existence to date, there are things that I wish had been done differently, but all in all, life is pretty good from my vantage point. I decided to take a few moments and list a few things I am deeply thankful for, this day, this afternoon, this very moment.

I am thankful for a warm home, a healthy child, a husband that loves our child more than his own life and provides a life for us.

I am thankful for my deep freezer. Recently my refrigerator and freezer have been on the fritz! It was so wonderful to be able to "rescue" the food and have a place to store it all for another day!

I am thankful that Phillip Spaulding finally returned to Guiding Light. I have watched the soap opera since 1979 when my grandmother introduced me to it... his character was always my favorite. His return to the show has improved my afternoon attitudes immensely!

I am thankful for sweet tea. I don't think I really need to explain that.

I am thankful for my crockpot - again, no explanation is needed.

I am thankful for my collection of 80's music -- honestly, some of the past few days and weeks would have been misery without them!

I am really thankful that my email has a "save as draft" function. I came very close to cutting someone out of my life for good this afternoon -- if not for that STOP AND THINK ABOUT IT option on the email, I would be in even more self-inflicted misery this week.

I am thankful for the life I have and I am thankful that I still have the ability to see the silver lining in the black cloud that seems to have gathered around my innermost thoughts. There is hope, for that I am most thankful!!

Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev

What My Heart Looks Like!

I don't need an x-ray machine or some fancy smancy medical camera to tell me what my heart looks like.. here it is - walking and TALKING and running and jumping and lighting up my world...such a Joy!!

Oh - and can someone please find a way to make time slow down a bit...she is growing up WAY too fast for me!!

Living Happily In the Moment!

Beverly

edited to add: no -she is not an amputee.... for some reason her left arm is INVISIBLE in this picture????

Happy Birthday to Two of My Favorites!!

Today is my Aunt Nell's birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT NELL!!

She is the catalyst for my parents leaving me to go far from home...I hope they are having a great time today...wherever they all may be!!

It is also the birthday of my sweet dog, Jake. I always thought it was a good omen that he shared my aunt's birthday. He is not with me today, but I can still feel him in my heart. He would be sixteen years old today -- seems like just yesterday he was born, on a cold, cold day in a tiny doghouse!

I miss him terribly. I would post a picture of him, but I just can't bring myself to open that box up today... it holds too much and the click of the lid on the top might just send me to CrazyTown, sooner than I am already going!

I will however post a picture of my Aunt Nell and I. Don't blink....but I think this picture might have been taken a year or forty or so ago!! (in this picture...Aunt Nell, Uncle Nate, Joey, Andy and ME!!!)

Happy Birthday Aunt Nell - Eat Lots of Apple Cake for Me!! Uh...better yet, just bring me some when you come for MY birthday!!!

Go To Church!

Just wanted to say that I am feeling better today! Hope you have a happy day - go to church!! That is where I am going....

Oh No - It Is Gonna Be A Bumpy Ride!

You know, I have been using this blog over the past year and a half to be my journal, my friend, my sounding board, my CHEAP therapy, my way of reaching out to the world and letting people get to know me. Most of the time the stories are funny, (hopefully, when they are meant to be!) and sometimes maybe a bit insightful(not my opinion, but your feedback tells me that!) but today, today is one of those therapy days I guess. Just a bit of warning...feel free to skip today's post!

Can I be BRUTALLY honest with you? I am mad! I sat in Sunday School last week and listened to my former Sunday School teacher talk about a crisis of faith he had been through recently. I sat and listened intently, cause you know what folks... I AM THERE!! I have been there for awhile, but just lately -- I feel like I am in full-blown mode. There are things in my life, personal stuff that I of course will not share here, but just several things over the past six months that have caused me to doubt, to rail against all I know, to question everything I believe, to scream at the heavens and take long car rides through the night trying to figure out what, if anything, I can possibly learn from the lessons being thrown at me. It is hurtful. I am angry at a lot of different situations right now. Scared, hurt and ANGRY!

I guess I wanted to share it because, well, I NEED to share it. I have to begin the process of lifting this burden from my life and here, in this space is where I best do that. It is funny to me that someone who nine months ago was writing devotionals for another web site is now sitting here questioning God and all I have ever held as true. I guess in all honesty, I am not questioning God as a being -- I believe Him, in Him, in His Son, I believe it all - I know my salvation is secure... what I don't understand is some of the workings of His will... and I guess I am not meant to, but a glimmer of something would be nice.

I am at the stage in life where mid-life crisis normally occurs. Maybe this is it? I just feel like I need about a week at the beach - ALONE, just sitting and thinking and reorganizing my troubled mind...ever feel that way? I really don't think I am alone in all of this, I know God is just waiting on me...I feel like maybe this is curve in the road, maybe soon I can report back to you on all I have been going through and how it is being used for His glory-I really hope so. Until then, if this blog seems morose, or not such a happy place, I hope you will forgive me and read it with an understanding heart. If any of you have been in this place I am currently residing and have any fresh words of wisdom, I would LOVE to hear them!

Thanks for the support -- I know you all are out there and just knowing that will help me - I am sure of it.

I Love My Friends, Cyber and IRL!

My Internet has been down...argh!!! I am just a little frustrated with my service provider but I have no other choice since I live in the country or boondocks, take your pick!

So, the Internet was down for 24 hours and after a severe withdrawal/panic attack, I am now re-connected with the rest of the world via the www!! Praise the Lord and pass the biscuits -- life is good once again.

As I logged onto my favorite site, "mybook,facespace", I was looking through the profile of a new facebook friend and discovered some interesting facts. First of all, let me say that through this really unique networking site I have been lucky enough to be reunited with friends and family members, lots of old high school and college chums, some elementary school friends, and past and present co-workers. I have so much fun seeing how we are all connected in this world...it is a really small place! Just a for instance, I have tons of cousins on one side of my family and really only one first cousin on the other. Through facebook I have learned that my one cousin went to high school with and is friends with a cousin on the other side and they never knew they had me as a connection -- how wild is that!!

Anyway....back to my point... I was looking at one of my "new" facebook friend's profile and discovered that this person worked in two places that I used to frequent ALL THE TIME, during the time she worked there! The chances of me running into this person in real life years before we have become "cyber" facespace friends is great! It just kinda blows my mind.

It makes me realize how important it is to treat everyone we come in contact with during our day with the same respect and courtesy we treat our best friends. You just never know when one day, you will be friends with that customer service rep or waiter or cashier. They may be someone you never meet again, but then, they may turn out to be your best friend, in the cyber world or IRL (in real life!!)

The Good Ole Days!

In the old days, whenever you wanted to talk to someone, you went to the wall, picked up the phone and dialed a phone number. You didn't have to search the house for the phone...it was always in the same place, attached to the wall, with a long cord! The person you were calling was either home or not, it either rang and rang or someone eventually answered. There were no voicemails or answering machines….just a family member with (hopefully) a pen and pencil to jot your number down so you would get a phone call back.

In the old days, there was no Caller ID. You could call a phone number completely anonymously and hear your favorite person’s voice on the other end (this was mostly done by us young girls, wanting to hear our “crush’s” voice on the other end) and then hang up! It was great fun. Don’t pretend you haven’t ever done that!!

In the old days, letters were handwritten and sent through the post office,with a stamp… it required time, effort, good penmanship and a few cents for the stamp.

Back then, you only had to check the mail once a day. Usually around the same time everyday, the mailman would deliver your mail and you could run out and get it. Instantly you would know if you had a letter or not, and then you could either read it or get on with your day and hope for a letter tomorrow.

This morning I found myself frustrated at modern technology. Cell phones that don’t work, or aren’t “in range” make it hard to communicate with those I love. Text messages, that have become another normal way of communication for me these days, have gone unseen due to phone malfunctions on the receiver end. Phone calls to my parents, out of town for a while, are hard, there is no reliable cell phone tower where they are… if it is windy – forget it – I can’t get through.

Many times this weekend I longed to talk to someone… but knowing it was a holiday and people have plans and a life, I did not pick up the phone and call any one. Oh how it would have done my spirit good to be able to dial a number and just hear a voice and hang up – just like long ago… completely anonymously!

And just a moment ago I found myself emailing back and forth with a friend, only to have it stop. Why? Did they get a phone call, leave the house, go take a shower, start reading a novel? Where did they go? I found myself checking and rechecking my email at least four or five times just to see if I had a reply in the “in box!” You see if this was in the olden days… I would only have to wonder once, just walk to the mailbox, open it and see. No letter, no worries…. I could just get on with the activities of the day and not worry… until tomorrow. Instead I am standing here in my kitchen, constantly looking at the home page to see if there is a little flag on the mailbox…. “You’ve Got Mail!” What it is even worse is the self-esteem tied into all of this…if I don’t get a reply – does that mean this person hates me, hates communicating with me, has someone more fun to email jokes back and forth with, and am I a loser in the world of email??

Just having a morning rant and wishing once again I lived back in the olden days!!! Do you ever feel that way?

The Place Where I Fit In

There is a certain space where I fit in this world. It is in the nook made up by his shoulder, chest and upper arm. With heels or without, I fit – right there, snug and warm, comfy and cozy. With his arms enclosed around me, there, I find nothing but peace. It is my home. I have been known to take it for granted, but an older and wiser girl now knows the value of the nook.

Life, work, responsibilities and general daily activities keep me from this place of peace. Most days I don’t get to feel the warmth. Some days, I get more than enough time to just abide there. Those moments fill me up and give me the strength to make it through the day, until the next time I make it “home.”

I am thankful for that nook. I treasure it, I dream of it, I feel incomplete unless I am there. I am always trying to find my way back home to the nook.

As a child I always wanted to matter to someone. I tried many places and faces in that search, my family, friends at school, friends at church, clubs and activities. I longed to find a niche, a place where I fit in, where I was happy and no matter what I did, I knew I was loved.

I finally found that place and it is in the nook. I can be who I am, say anything without hesitation or repercussion, let my feelings out and know there is someone there who gets me, understands the world in the same way I do and I am loved for just being me. It is my niche, my home, my shelter from the storms of life, my picnic table in the sunnier times.

I hope that you all find a nook of happiness in your life. A place where you know you are loved and neither time, nor distance, or the everyday motion of life can rock you out of the nook.

Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev

The Long Winter's Break!

It's just another Manic Monday.... oh oh oh!!

Now, there's a flashback that will have all you 80's children singing the rest of the day!!

Around here, it is a Monday with no school for my Little Bit and no work for me. I guess I should be excited, but truthfully, I kinda like our schedule and when it gets disrupted like it will be today (and tomorrow!!) I get a little irritable.

My child gets bored, I get depressed by the housework that needs doing(that I am NOT doing!) and the day stretches out before us like a long, desert highway!

Thankfully today is being broken into by a lunch date with a girlfriend. We had to pick a restaurant with a playground....but still, I may get at least 30 minutes to sit and chat like an adult. Maybe then the afternoon won't be so long and soon it will be bedtime and I can get to planning what adventure will mark tomorrow for us during this oh so long Winter's Break!!

Hope you and your family are enjoying the holiday.

Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly

Heart Attacks!

Has your heart ever attacked you?

Sadly, I learned late yesterday that a friend of ours, a very young man, suffered a serious heart attack yesterday and is in serious condition in an out of town hospital. Please pray for him and his family.

I couldn't sleep tonight, thoughts of Brandon and his ordeal, thoughts of how my life will be changed while my parents have moved away temporarily, and other thoughts of love and valentines day were swirling through my head. I usually get up and watch tv. Tonight, however, I got up and did an email update for any word on Brandon's condition and then I got on my shoes and went for a drive. I NEVER do that. In fact, I cannot remember EVER doing that. But there was something in me that needed the open road, the breeze and some loud music in order to organize my thoughts.

Somewhere down the road the thought came to me that we have all suffered a heart attack in some way if we have been lucky enough to love someone deeply. Maybe not so much in the parental love sense, or the love we feel for our best friends, but more so in the area of romantic love.

You know, there you were just going about your life, working, playing, dreaming, hoping, and suddenly, out of nowhere, you met someone who caused your figurative heart to stutter, to clamp up, shut down, beat faster, to knock you to your knees and break you out into a sweat.

I have been there and I am sure if you are above the age of eighteen and reading this, you have too. I am lucky that I found love early in life, and then again as a slightly older, maybe wiser adult. Both times my heart was attacked. I sensed a distinctive change in the way I felt, the way I viewed life, the way I dreamed and hoped for the future. Both times marked my life.

Today is Valentine's Day .... a day to express your love for the one that "attacked" your heart, to be kind, considerate of feelings, speak softly, be generous with compliments and your time. Hallmark and all the other retailers want you to buy cards, and teddy bears and balloons. Florist want you to send flowers and jewelry stores want you to buy a big, fat diamond!

But you know, I think it is more important to just quietly let those around you know that you love them. Give a hug, a kiss, an extra helping of their favorite food or sit quietly and hold a hand. Maybe for one day overlook their most annoying qualities and then try and see if you can do it all again tomorrow, February 15th! And the day after, and the day after that! Love should be gentle, it might start out with a heart "attack" but true love lasts through that and remains.

Wishing everyone a happy Valentine's Day! I hope you get to spend some quality time with the one you love. I know I am lucky to have been able to do just that - and I don't take a moment for granted.

Living Happily In the Moment!

Beverly

Happy V-day!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV).


Happy Valentines Day!

I hope you have someone to love...I do and I am blessed beyond words.

Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev

What Dreams May Come

What happens when dreams come true? What happens when hopes turn into reality and things longed for, actually exist? For me, it means that you turn a corner and keep on dreaming, hoping and longing for the next thing in your life.

I am someone who has longed for things deeply in life. For many years I longed for a child to fill the empty space where children had come and gone and never stayed. I can remember those days like they were yesterday. The cold chills whenever anyone I knew made a pregnancy announcement, the stab of pain on Mother's Day and Father's Day and heavens, even Grandparent's Day. Walking away from conversations when women my age would began recounting birthing stories (or even horror stories), and walking past the empty room in my home that should have, oh so long ago, held a sleeping baby.


I never thought I would be a mom. I had given up when my sweet Hannah came into my world. She lit it up, filled all the rooms of this house and pushed out every dark, sad cobweb that lurked in the corners.

I have had other dreams come true that were not such happy endings. For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a florist, mostly because my favorite aunt was one and I longed to replicate her success in my own life, in lots of ways! I went to school, I earned the degree necessary, I opened a shop, only to have it fail. Some might think it was a failure that would have been devastating to me...it wasn't. It is a dream that I am glad I got to experience, happy for it, but once realized, I have discovered that it is a dream that I can put aside and just remember fondly.


There are other dreams in my world, some have yet to come true, and thankfully some have materialized


Where I am at today in my world, life is challenging for me. I am struggling to sort out my life, to find my place in the world again, to investigate my heart and soul to find out how I want to spend the next forty years, figure out what dreams I want to dream now. I think it might be a mid-life crisis. I have talked with others my age and stage in life...we are all going through it, in some form or fashion.

I am discovering that I have burdens, and some heartaches, but mostly joy and some really unexpected moments of happiness. There are some dreams that have hopped from my mind into my world, and for that I am truly thankful.

It is Friday the 13th. It is supposed to be a bad luck day, but today, it feels like a good day. It feels like a happy day, like a day that bad stuff just can't touch. I am reflective today, maybe it is the weather, maybe it is the sound of my child laughing, maybe it is missing my parents, whatever the cause for this reflection, I am happy for it, I am hopeful for the future and for the opportunities that lie ahead. Today, life is good.

Hope it is for you too!

Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly

Nothing - Got Nothing Today!!

I have nothing to write. My parents are moving away "temporarily" and I am in a funk -- which has created a huge writer's block for me.

Today is Friday the 13th -- I hope it will be a good one. I am counting on a good day -- my child has a playdate that she is looking forward to --- maybe that will be enough to pull me out of writing block pit!!

I will be back -- I promise!

Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

Today is my daddy's 75th Birthday! We got to celebrate with him last night - dinner at Fatz and then presents, cake and tons of fun at my parent's house! Hannah even sat still long enough to have her picture made with him and my mom at Fatz!

My daddy means the world to me... I could write books and books on him, his life and how much I love him.

I hope he has a great day today - lots of people know and love my daddy. He is important to a lot of people in our town and many other towns as well. I am thankful for his influence in my life, for his love and for his wisdom.

I am proud to be a daddy's girl, proud to be the daughter of such a wonderful man.

Happy Birthday Daddy!
I love you!
Beverly

A Bittersweet Afternoon!

I was struggling trying to find something to blog about today.... it has been a really good day. I guess I will just babble until this post writes itself.

I am working on a project and this morning I bribed my child with lunch out if she allowed me to work a little this morning - uninterrupted!! I have a deadline... hard to work with a four year old underfoot - but it had to be done!

She was an angel this morning... I could not have asked for better behavior. So around noon, we packed up and headed to town -- one quick stop at the local WalM*rt and then we made it to Mellow Mushroom (one of our favorite pizza places!) just in time to beat the lunch crowd on a Saturday.

I have to brag on my child. She was so good... and normally, she and I have a bit of trouble alone, in public. She tends to try her boundaries when Daddy is not around...but not today. God gave her some extra "sit stilledness" and me some extra tolerance I guess - but we had the best restaurant experience to date!

We are home again and as I watched her play in the yard this afternoon with our dogs... running around, enjoying the beautiful weather... and I couldn't help but feel some pangs in this old heart.

She is just becoming too much of a young girl for me... I really didn't even mean to post about the bittersweet pangs of motherhood...but here I am - part of me so happy to have a little companion to shop and dine with, after all these years of being alone...and the other, BIGGER part of my heart, crying because this face

has been replaced with this...a four year going on fourteen year old precocious, lovable, face!

And now that I have made my mother cry...I am going to cry myself to sleep too!

Beverly

Flashback Friday-Searching For Jeff

Before there was this guy, before there was this guy, even way before there was this guy… there was another!

Yes, my very first boyfriend. Jeff. Young love, so sweet, so innocent, so long ago!

He and I were in elementary school together in Leesville, Louisiana, where both our dads were stationed in the Army. I am not sure what grade exactly, I am thinking it was second. I know there was one other boy that had caught my eye around the same time, but when I think of my life so long ago, back in second grade, it is Jeff that I think of as my “boyfriend.”

Imagine, a boyfriend in the second grade!

The other day my mother phoned and told me she had something for me. Hannah and I were going out and so she told us to come by. I was curious…my mother is famous for pulling jokes as well as buying my child some really pretty things, so it was a complete surprise as to what awaited us when we arrived.

It was this….

One of my first love letters, found by mom while thumbing through a book she found in my daddy’s study, and it caused us to go on a hunt to find this picture…

I remember this day…we went somewhere with Jeff and his mom and when my mom tried to take a picture of us sitting together in the backseat, he grabbed me and pulled me on his lap… oh boys, don’t you just love ‘em??

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. It is the perfect time of year for me to have found this old letter and picture. I have had many memorable Valentine Days, and my life has been full of crazy boys. There has never been a dull moment where my love life was concerned!

After reading his little letter once again, all these years later, I am just hoping that I answered poor Jeff’s plea for a letter and a picture. There is no way of knowing. I even tried to google and facebook him this past week, just to see…but there is no way to find someone lost to me so many years ago. We were military kids. I have the return address on the envelope but the trail runs cold there. My parents don’t remember his parents’ names or where the family was originally from. It makes me sad. I have had such fun reconnecting with people from my past, I would love to chat with him, see how his life turned out and most of all find out if my third grade self ever answered his letter.

So, Jeffrey Mobley, who lived in Leesville, LA in in the early seventies… if you are out there or someone who knows you is out there and reading this… PLEASE send an email…I would love to hear from you!!

One Is The Loneliest Number!

I am lonely tonight.

I just wrote on my facebook page that I was enjoying a quiet moment in my crazy house...but that is really not true. Yep, you caught me - I lie to my facebook friends!

My husband and child have both gone to bed, but not before entertaining me immensely with a wild game of Wii bowling. The house was filled with lots of noises, bowling pins slamming against one another, people cheering, music from the radio, my husband and little girl "high-fiving" each other after strikes and spares. Sounds that on most other nights might have been irritating to me, tonight were welcome! My hearing is returning, not one hundred percent yet, but one hundred times better than this time last week for sure. All the sounds and noises have flooded back into my world and I am loving them all.

Tonight as everyone as gone off to sleep, I find myself once again, sitting in a quiet house. It makes me a little sad, and more than a little lonely.

I am someone that has built a life around being alone. I am a shift-worker's wife. Long ago I realized that many nights and many weekends I would be alone. Many events, at church or with our families would be spent with me attending alone. I have gotten quite used to it, I grew up as an only child, I am used to playing alone. We spent 13 years waiting for a child to spice up our life. All that time, I knew true loneliness in my heart. Loneliness is a companion of mine, I know it well, I am sometimes happy to see it...but not tonight!

I am finding myself wishing everyone would wake up again and come and play. The sounds of life are so precious...I have missed them so much these past few weeks...and tonight I just want them to continue just a little bit longer. I want my child to cuddle with me, my husband to make me laugh...I want my ears to hurt from the sound of laughter and not ring with the sounds of silence anymore.

Maybe I will just go to bed early tonight, a little rest will do me good, and maybe, just maybe I will dream of loud noises and people to share it all with!!

Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly

The CODE!

Today I wrote an email to someone entirely in Italian.

Why, you might ask? Well, it is a beautiful language for one, and I have been secretly trying to teach it to myself ever since we traveled to Italy in 2000. And it is fun to write in code sometimes! I always liked to use codes when I was younger.... we would spend hours devising a code that "no one" could break so my girlfriends and I could fee safe in passing notes in class. I am sure anyone, anywhere could have broken those codes without effort - but it was fun!

I am finding I can write in Italian, MUCH better than I can speak in Italian, so you won't be hearing me spout tons of vocabulary in that beautiful language.. but you may just get a note or two written in it... or maybe even a blog post!!

Rest easy, I will not start writing this blog in Italian. I just wish I could. I want to be Italian, speak Italian, live in Italy. Ah... the wonder and romance of that place is undeniable. French may be the "language of love" but to me, Italian is the "language of my life!"

So, how about you-- do you have a secret language? Can you speak a different language than your first? I am feeling European today...how about you?

Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly

Never Underestimate the Power of Good Hair

For the past few days I have been on an adventure, traveling through boxes of photographs, rolling down memory lane, and yes, terrorizing the friends I have left on facebook with some blasts from the past.

I really have tried to be kind and only post pictures I thought were good ones.. and of course, I have been extra choosy when it comes to the pictures I post of myself.

I have realized something...good heavens, I have had some bad hair issues in my life. Now, I am not saying that my hair is perfect now, far from it... most days it aggravates me and today it was too puffy... but I digress. For the most part, sans all the regular problems it has, too curly, frizzy on humid days, gray far too soon after my hair appointments... for the most part, I am happier with my hair today, than ever before in my life.

When I turned thirty-four, I remember making a conscious decision to find a hair salon and stylist I liked. No more Great Clips, $9.99 hair cuts for me. I declared myself a grown-up woman, and grown up women had hair stylists!!

I did find a sweet girl, at a lovely salon and for almost two years, I was pretty happy with my hair. I would get color and cut and be perfectly content. However, one day I really wanted her to put highlights in my hair. She didn't want to do it... I was very unhappy. So, I did what any normal, red-blooded American girl would do... I decided to give myself highlights!

Now, please keep in mind, I am not even a beauty school drop out -- I never even enrolled... but for some reason, I decided I was talented enough to highlight my hair in the comfort of my own home. I purchased a box of highlight, (Carmel color of course!!) and went to town on my hair. The result, well, let's just say that I could have been mistaken for tiger at any moment with all the colorful stripes going on at the top of my head. The combination of my curly hair and the stripes was disconcerting... I decided I needed to re-visit the scene of the crime and "fix" it myself.

I went to the local drugstore and purchased some hair color remover, another box of regular brown hair color and around 11:00 PM, I commenced to "correcting" my mistake. I was under the impression that if I used the hair color remover, it would remove ONLY the color I had put on the night before...then I could just use the brown to cover it up. WRONG! The hair color remover did just what it claimed... it removed ALL the color in my hair.

After shampooing it out of my hair, I looked in the mirror to discover my hair was the color of rust, or bozo the clown orange, depending on the way the light hit it!! I was horrified. I quickly used the brown hair color, and prayed for a miracle. In the end, my hair became a lovely shade of burgundy. It was a disaster.

Lucky for me, I met a friend of mine for lunch the next day and she quickly and politely gave me the phone number of her hair stylist and encouraged me to call him as soon as possible!!!

I did, and five years later, I can honestly say it was one of the best phone calls I have ever made. He has transformed my hair, transformed my life and because of his work on me, several of my friends have also signed up to sit in his chair.

Looking through my old photographs I was reminded of how far my hair has come...THANK GOODNESS for my stylist, Lee, my Chi straightener and my husband's job that helps to fund and sustain this way of hair I have gotten accustomed too!!!

Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly

Twenty Five Things I Bet You Never Knew...

I was tagged on facebook to do the 25 Random Things About Me share list... I did it over there a week or so ago...but I thought it would be fun to revisit it here on my blog and do it again! I bet my answers will be totally different.

1. I am so thankful I found a place in the blogsphere.. it gives me an outlet for all those conversations I used to have in my head.

2. My family and friends are very important to me. I would kill for any of them...so don't cause trouble --okay!!

3. I really like to watch stupid reality shows on tv, like Bret Michaels and his Rock of Love Bus Tour and Split Ends - a show about hair dressers....mindless entertainment -- but it makes me smile.

4. When I was seven, I was outside watching my daddy cut grass, he told me to stand back, I didn't and a tiny piece of a rock came flying at my head... it cut my cheek, just a bit - I ran inside, cleaned it up and never told my parents...(until now!) Every time I watch A Christmas Story - I think of that.

5. I have lived in six states, and traveled to four foreign countries. I would like to travel more, but I am deathly afraid to fly!

6. When I was in high school I dated a boy who was one of four brothers. It made me want to grow up and be the mom of five children, all boys! I even had them named.... thank goodness God had a different plan!! I can barely handle the one girl I have!

7. I miss my dog Jake just as much today as the day we lost him. I don't think that hole will ever heal up in my heart.

8. I love, love, love, reconnecting with old friends - in real life, on facebook, anyway I can.

9. I can play the piano. I used to play for church and choir and such. I now only play for my daughter's listening pleasure.

10. I love to go to movies.... I love going with someone, but I can go alone and have just as much fun!

11. I read three to four books at a time.... I have a slight attention problem!

12. I do not like to put things away when I am done using them... therefore, my house gets messy sometimes. I am trying to do better and teach my daughter to not do as I do, but do as I say!!

13. My daddy is a preacher. I have always wondered what it would be like to be a rebel and the typical "bad girl preacher's daughter" but I was always too scared to do that . I was always a good girl!!

14. I am thinking this might be the year I go bad....hee hee!

15. I met my husband at church. I chased him until I convinced him to catch me -- mainly cause I liked the way his jaw moved when he chewed on a toothpick. CRAZY!

16. I always wanted to get married at Christmas...we got married in May - I still can't figure out why I didn't hold out for the Christmas wedding....

17. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday

18. My daddy will be 75 years old next week. I remember when he turned 50 like it was yesterday!! Twenty-five years have flown by!!!

19. My best friends now, were my best friends way back in high school ... I am proud that we are all still close.

20. I love pumpkin spice candles

21. I use Coconut Milk shampoo and conditioner - everyday! I love the smell!

22. I am 42 and feel like I am 18 most of the time.

23. My husband backed my car up the other day and ran it into another one of our cars, it cracked my bumper. I am so glad it was him and not me!!!

24. I can't remember if my first car was blue or grey... it was a graduation gift... I must be getting old.

25. My husband and I disagree on how to make macaroni and cheese. Most of the time I make it his way, but if he makes me mad...I will plan a meal on purpose and cook the macaroni the way I like it!! Tonight we had macaroni and cheese for dinner...I will let you figure out which way I fixed it!! It sure was yummy!!! :-)

Now.... give me your twenty-five!!!

Beverly!