She was about one. Her little self looking so small in the seat, using all her strength to hold herself up, to keep from flailing headlong into the seat strap. She was so happy, the feel of the wind in her face, on her hair, her cheeks rosy, her eyes lit up with delight as she her body rocked back and forth, her feet dangling below her, the ground must have seem miles away.
The swing was her favorite playground activity from that day forward. She gradually progressed to having even more fun as she grew, her body gaining strength to hold herself up, her legs stretching out to make the gap between the ground and her swing seat less scary.
Soon she was outgrowing that baby swing, able to sit in the hammock style seat on her own. Her feet almost able to touch the ground, her arms and hands strong and able to support her body. She could swing all afternoon, as long as someone was there to give her a starting push and then every now and then at intervals to keep up the speed. Some of our favorite afternoons have been spent in the Fall air, me pushing that swing and my girl, learning to pump those legs and singing her favorite songs as she moved through the air, up and back and up and back.
After five years, at least four of them spent practicing swinging, tonight, we went out to the swing set to enjoy the cool, Fall evening. She climbed in the swing and before I could get positioned at the back of the swing...she pushed off with her feet, pumped those legs and whoosh...off into the evening sky she went, up and back, up and back. She smiled, laughed, put her head back and sang her favorite song. She was swinging, all on her own, she has mastered this rite of passage. She no longer needed anyone to give her a starting push or to keep her swinging. The look on her face was priceless, I tried to be happy at this, one more, step toward independence.
Swinging alone today...riding a bike without training wheels tomorrow...driving a car, getting married and leaving me the next! Life with my girl is whizzing by me, just like being on that swing,faster and faster and higher and higher, up and back, up and back. And just like my girl, I hope the world can see the smile on my face, hear the laughter in my voice and feel the wonder and joy I am blessed to know every day.
I don't know if a swing could take me much higher than the feeling of being her mom has taken me so far!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The Way I Feel Today...
I am feeling...
calm and cool, thanks to the crisp Fall weather!
blessed, as I stand in my happy little kitchen and listen to my daughter playing the piano!
anxious for the week to be over and the weekend to arrive!
hopeful that this time tomorrow my house will be sparkling clean, thanks to some help!
excited when I think about Friday night, spent downtown with my honey!
sad that I fell asleep AGAIN during my favorite show last night!
thankful for my parents and all the help they give me!
joyful, cause I smell the steaks cooking on the grill.
happy to hear my daughter singing her favorite song...LOUDLY!!
sad for a friend's loss
the need, the need for speed....sorry -- Top Gun will always be part of my memory!!
How are you "feeling" today?
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
calm and cool, thanks to the crisp Fall weather!
blessed, as I stand in my happy little kitchen and listen to my daughter playing the piano!
anxious for the week to be over and the weekend to arrive!
hopeful that this time tomorrow my house will be sparkling clean, thanks to some help!
excited when I think about Friday night, spent downtown with my honey!
sad that I fell asleep AGAIN during my favorite show last night!
thankful for my parents and all the help they give me!
joyful, cause I smell the steaks cooking on the grill.
happy to hear my daughter singing her favorite song...LOUDLY!!
sad for a friend's loss
the need, the need for speed....sorry -- Top Gun will always be part of my memory!!
How are you "feeling" today?
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Monday, September 28, 2009
A Spooky September Tale!
For those of you who do not believe in any kind of paranormal activity...well, you can skip today's post, because it is all about the paranormal and the activities surrounding ME!!!
I became a believer in the paranormal a long time ago. My grandfather was near death and the family was called to the hospital to say goodbye. Because I was too young to be allowed in the hospital room, I was left at home alone. Fifteen minutes prior to my mother calling to tell me of his passing, I was sitting alone in the den, and the lights went off. They stayed off only in the den where I was, and then a minute or so later they came back on. To my pre-teen mind and even this old middle aged one, that was a goodbye from my PaPa. No one has ever been able to convince me otherwise. My grandmother, his wife, was about the only one to believe my tale, and she continued to feel him around her, even a year later when she could still smell his aftershave in the bathroom, long after the last bottle had been removed.
I have had other experiences such as knowing who was on the other end of the telephone when it rings - long before caller id was invented. There are certain people in my life that I just feel oddly connected to...I can "sense" there is trouble on the horizon or whether or not I will see them on a given day. It is an odd gift, but one I seem to have inherited from my mother, who has done some incredible "sensing" herself.
When we built this house, we discovered that the lot on the end of our road contained a small family graveyard. There are two marked graves of a brother and sister, Nathan and Hailey, who were born and died in the late 1800's at very young ages. There are probably more graves there, but the markers are missing. For the first three years we lived here, we would walk our dog Jake in the evenings and I would pick wildflowers and place on the graves. We were childless at the time and having lost babies myself, I felt a peace about tending to these little graves.
I began to notice that on many evenings, after our walks, Jake would sit in the living room and bark or "grumble" at the corner. There was nothing in the corner, there would be no reflection of anything in that corner...it was just an empty corner...or was it? I would usually just tell him to hush, shout out a hello to "Nathan and Hailey" and tell them to go on, we needed to go to sleep. It would seem to work, Jake would settle down and life would go on. On a few occasions our television would seemingly turn itself "on" in the middle of the night, scaring me silly. I remember one night it happened over and over again until I finally shouted, "Nathan and Hailey, this is crazy - I have to go to sleep - please stop!" And they did!!
Since our Hannah has been in the house, I have not had any more episodes with the "children from up the street" but lately, I have felt like someone has been watching me. It is like seeing something out of the side of my eye and when I turn my head, there is no one there. Every time this happens, I can feel my heart rate increase and adrenaline flow through my veins. I have explained it away for the last few months but this afternoon, something happened that I just can't explain.
I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. Hannah was in the living room watching television and there was no one else in the house with us. It is has been an overcast day, there was no sun streaming through a window to cause a shadow, but as sure as I am typing this, I saw a dark form, a shadowy figure of what appeared to be the side profile of a woman float...yes, I said FLOAT, down my hall way. I looked around to see what explanation I could find for this, I knew my husband would find some logical explanation so I attempted it before I told him. I could find nothing. NOTHING except that a ghost had just floated down the hallway. It was creepy!
I lit a candle, wish the being a good day and although I thought of setting a fourth place at the dinner table for our "guest" I decided against it. I don't really know if ghosts like chicken with rice, gravy and black-eyed peas and besides, it isn't even October yet, so my house is not really all "dolled up" with spooky things to make her feel more "at home!"
What a spooky afternoon!!!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
I became a believer in the paranormal a long time ago. My grandfather was near death and the family was called to the hospital to say goodbye. Because I was too young to be allowed in the hospital room, I was left at home alone. Fifteen minutes prior to my mother calling to tell me of his passing, I was sitting alone in the den, and the lights went off. They stayed off only in the den where I was, and then a minute or so later they came back on. To my pre-teen mind and even this old middle aged one, that was a goodbye from my PaPa. No one has ever been able to convince me otherwise. My grandmother, his wife, was about the only one to believe my tale, and she continued to feel him around her, even a year later when she could still smell his aftershave in the bathroom, long after the last bottle had been removed.
I have had other experiences such as knowing who was on the other end of the telephone when it rings - long before caller id was invented. There are certain people in my life that I just feel oddly connected to...I can "sense" there is trouble on the horizon or whether or not I will see them on a given day. It is an odd gift, but one I seem to have inherited from my mother, who has done some incredible "sensing" herself.
When we built this house, we discovered that the lot on the end of our road contained a small family graveyard. There are two marked graves of a brother and sister, Nathan and Hailey, who were born and died in the late 1800's at very young ages. There are probably more graves there, but the markers are missing. For the first three years we lived here, we would walk our dog Jake in the evenings and I would pick wildflowers and place on the graves. We were childless at the time and having lost babies myself, I felt a peace about tending to these little graves.
I began to notice that on many evenings, after our walks, Jake would sit in the living room and bark or "grumble" at the corner. There was nothing in the corner, there would be no reflection of anything in that corner...it was just an empty corner...or was it? I would usually just tell him to hush, shout out a hello to "Nathan and Hailey" and tell them to go on, we needed to go to sleep. It would seem to work, Jake would settle down and life would go on. On a few occasions our television would seemingly turn itself "on" in the middle of the night, scaring me silly. I remember one night it happened over and over again until I finally shouted, "Nathan and Hailey, this is crazy - I have to go to sleep - please stop!" And they did!!
Since our Hannah has been in the house, I have not had any more episodes with the "children from up the street" but lately, I have felt like someone has been watching me. It is like seeing something out of the side of my eye and when I turn my head, there is no one there. Every time this happens, I can feel my heart rate increase and adrenaline flow through my veins. I have explained it away for the last few months but this afternoon, something happened that I just can't explain.
I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. Hannah was in the living room watching television and there was no one else in the house with us. It is has been an overcast day, there was no sun streaming through a window to cause a shadow, but as sure as I am typing this, I saw a dark form, a shadowy figure of what appeared to be the side profile of a woman float...yes, I said FLOAT, down my hall way. I looked around to see what explanation I could find for this, I knew my husband would find some logical explanation so I attempted it before I told him. I could find nothing. NOTHING except that a ghost had just floated down the hallway. It was creepy!
I lit a candle, wish the being a good day and although I thought of setting a fourth place at the dinner table for our "guest" I decided against it. I don't really know if ghosts like chicken with rice, gravy and black-eyed peas and besides, it isn't even October yet, so my house is not really all "dolled up" with spooky things to make her feel more "at home!"
What a spooky afternoon!!!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Best Part of the Day!
It is the best part of my day.
No, it is not the morning, the quiet of my house before the chaos erupts, and it is not the drive in to work. It is not the time spent serving others all day at the preschool, or the drive home . It is not the few minutes I spend picking my child up from school and hearing all about her day. It is not the cooking of our evening meal, an hour spent watching a favorite television show or the time spent helping her do her homework. And although I love helping my child get a bath or read a bedtime story...that is not the best part of my day.
The best part of my day is when all the stories are read, the hugs and kisses are given and received, the light gets put out and the music begins to play softly while only the glare of a nightlight casts shadows on the wall. When the sleepy little girl grabs my hand and wraps it tight against her body, securing me to her side as she says her prayers, then tells me she loves me ("as much as the whole world, but not as much as God!!") and snuggles in tight.
That is the sweetest and best part of my day. To be the one she holds onto as she slowly slips off to sleep, to feel her heart beat, to know that I am her security blanket, and the one she most wants with her at the end of a day. It is more than I could have ever hoped for in my life. It is profound and deep and all consuming love that wells up inside of me. It is a gift beyond all others that have ever been given to me. It is the best part of my day and by far, the best time of my life.
No, it is not the morning, the quiet of my house before the chaos erupts, and it is not the drive in to work. It is not the time spent serving others all day at the preschool, or the drive home . It is not the few minutes I spend picking my child up from school and hearing all about her day. It is not the cooking of our evening meal, an hour spent watching a favorite television show or the time spent helping her do her homework. And although I love helping my child get a bath or read a bedtime story...that is not the best part of my day.
The best part of my day is when all the stories are read, the hugs and kisses are given and received, the light gets put out and the music begins to play softly while only the glare of a nightlight casts shadows on the wall. When the sleepy little girl grabs my hand and wraps it tight against her body, securing me to her side as she says her prayers, then tells me she loves me ("as much as the whole world, but not as much as God!!") and snuggles in tight.
That is the sweetest and best part of my day. To be the one she holds onto as she slowly slips off to sleep, to feel her heart beat, to know that I am her security blanket, and the one she most wants with her at the end of a day. It is more than I could have ever hoped for in my life. It is profound and deep and all consuming love that wells up inside of me. It is a gift beyond all others that have ever been given to me. It is the best part of my day and by far, the best time of my life.
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Seriously, Grab A Cup of Coffee Before Reading...Or Your Head Is Likely to Hit the Keyboard!!
I tried to write a post just now but hit the delete, delete, delete button because it was so boring, I figured I would need to supply each of you with a Starbuck's gift card so you could buy yourselves some caffeine to stay awake after reading it!
It is a long day and quite frankly all I really want to do is curl up and watch my latest television obsession "Sons of Anarchy!" I am sure to some of you, I don't really seem the type to go for a show about motorcycle gangs, but for some reason this one has captured my attention and I am now into watching the second season of the show! I guess it is an escape for me into a life so totally different than mine. A life filled with tough men, tattoos, motorcycles, deceit, rage, anger, murder, drugs... oh wait, I work at a preschool...it is EXACTLY like my life! HAHAHA - Just kidding!
But seriously, you name it - this show has it all. It is not for the faint of heart - it is on after 10 PM for a reason, but since The Sopranos went off the air and my sainted Guiding Light ended last week, I am left with very little to transport me to a different reality on television these days.
Tonight, as soon as my child is tucked in, you can find me on the couch watching some mean biker dudes beat up someone or sell some guns to some other bad dudes or worse...
Just another evening at home, psyching myself up to handle 100+ little kiddos and all the drama waiting for me tomorrow.
Living Happily in the Moment!
edited to add: I told you people this was boring. After writing it, getting my child to sleep and folding two loads of laundry, I curled up on the couch to watch my show, saw the opening credits and then next thing I knew it was 6 AM and my alarm clock was ringing!! Oh well, thank goodness I can now watch tv on my laptop...guess I will catch up on my show this afternoon!!
It is a long day and quite frankly all I really want to do is curl up and watch my latest television obsession "Sons of Anarchy!" I am sure to some of you, I don't really seem the type to go for a show about motorcycle gangs, but for some reason this one has captured my attention and I am now into watching the second season of the show! I guess it is an escape for me into a life so totally different than mine. A life filled with tough men, tattoos, motorcycles, deceit, rage, anger, murder, drugs... oh wait, I work at a preschool...it is EXACTLY like my life! HAHAHA - Just kidding!
But seriously, you name it - this show has it all. It is not for the faint of heart - it is on after 10 PM for a reason, but since The Sopranos went off the air and my sainted Guiding Light ended last week, I am left with very little to transport me to a different reality on television these days.
Tonight, as soon as my child is tucked in, you can find me on the couch watching some mean biker dudes beat up someone or sell some guns to some other bad dudes or worse...
Just another evening at home, psyching myself up to handle 100+ little kiddos and all the drama waiting for me tomorrow.
Living Happily in the Moment!
edited to add: I told you people this was boring. After writing it, getting my child to sleep and folding two loads of laundry, I curled up on the couch to watch my show, saw the opening credits and then next thing I knew it was 6 AM and my alarm clock was ringing!! Oh well, thank goodness I can now watch tv on my laptop...guess I will catch up on my show this afternoon!!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Fall Into Me....
Lately there has been hurt all around me. Some of my nearest and dearest friends and loved ones all seem to be going through tough times, their struggles have shown in their faces and in their conversations. Some have turned to me and asked advice, wanted a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen and just hold onto their secrets for them. There are one or two that have just pulled away completely, striving to handle it on their own. I pray there is someone helping to hold them up through the tough times because even though I want to be, I am not allowed to be that friend, not this time anyway. My circle of friends has grown noticeably smaller and it hurts even more now when my hand of friendship is rejected.
I discovered this Sugarland song a few days ago while driving home from the mountains and it just summed it all up for me. It is a plea from one person to another, a plea for the opportunity to be there for the friend, to be the one they run to, the one that listens and knows and understands.
It has always been a joy for me to give this kind of friendship and compassion to my friends and I am lucky enough to have friends who reciprocate when I need that place to fall.
This post and this song are a dedication to the ones that won't let me in and the ones who have and to those few special friends who have sheltered me "when my feet have left footprints on the street" as well.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev
Friday, September 18, 2009
The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia...or Score One for the Squirrels
My father has been waging a war. This particular battle is against the squirrels which take delight in eating all the bird food he faithfully puts out for the winged creatures that visit my parent's garden.
The first line of defense in this war was a Red Ryder BB gun...which we gave him one year for Christmas. He would sit on the porch, waiting on a squirrel to dare enter the yard and then ping him (or her!) with a few rounds of Old Blue!
The next strategy, one that has been more effective, was to place cages around in inconspicuous places, luring the squirrels to them and then once caught, carting them off to a park or other wooded area...far, far, from my parent's house. I think to date the number of squirrels entering this "catch and release" program is in the triple digits! It is amusing and my daughter loves the thrill of seeing a captured squirrel and helping to take him (or her) to its new home.
But this evening, or rather this past week, the squirrels took revenge. They must have sensed my parents were out of town, I can imagine that they all huddled together to come up with a plan. I can just see them sitting around, munching on the bird seed that had fallen to the floor, giggling and conspiring.
Apparently one in the group had a martyr's desire, either that or they pulled straws...maybe it was like that movie "The Lottery" where once a year the town drew lots and one unlucky soul was stoned to death for the prosperity of the town. Maybe the squirrels meet once a year during a week in September, draw lots and determine which of their number will sacrifice his (or her) life for the rest of the squirrel community. I am unclear on the realities of squirrel etiquette and customs, but no matter, one of their number was either chosen or volunteered to plunge headfirst into the power transformer and cut the power to my parent's home!
When my folks returned home last evening from a trip, they were shocked to find that the power was shut off to their house...everyone else on the block was watching tv, cooking, reading by lamp light and could open and shut their garage. To make it even crazier, my parents needed a key to get in the front door, that was different from the one they had with them, so they called me. Since the child was already asleep, my husband went over and through his sly, sneaky skills, was able to get them in their house. The power company was called and after a short while, discovered the martyred squirrel in the power box.
I can just picture the group of squirrels standing on the edge of the wood, snickering and high-fiving each other, as we all know they do, relishing in the sweet, if only short-lived, revenge on the people who for the past year have been capturing and carting off all of their friends and family!!
Daddy -100+ ; Squirrels - 1
And the battle rages on...
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
The first line of defense in this war was a Red Ryder BB gun...which we gave him one year for Christmas. He would sit on the porch, waiting on a squirrel to dare enter the yard and then ping him (or her!) with a few rounds of Old Blue!
The next strategy, one that has been more effective, was to place cages around in inconspicuous places, luring the squirrels to them and then once caught, carting them off to a park or other wooded area...far, far, from my parent's house. I think to date the number of squirrels entering this "catch and release" program is in the triple digits! It is amusing and my daughter loves the thrill of seeing a captured squirrel and helping to take him (or her) to its new home.
But this evening, or rather this past week, the squirrels took revenge. They must have sensed my parents were out of town, I can imagine that they all huddled together to come up with a plan. I can just see them sitting around, munching on the bird seed that had fallen to the floor, giggling and conspiring.
Apparently one in the group had a martyr's desire, either that or they pulled straws...maybe it was like that movie "The Lottery" where once a year the town drew lots and one unlucky soul was stoned to death for the prosperity of the town. Maybe the squirrels meet once a year during a week in September, draw lots and determine which of their number will sacrifice his (or her) life for the rest of the squirrel community. I am unclear on the realities of squirrel etiquette and customs, but no matter, one of their number was either chosen or volunteered to plunge headfirst into the power transformer and cut the power to my parent's home!
When my folks returned home last evening from a trip, they were shocked to find that the power was shut off to their house...everyone else on the block was watching tv, cooking, reading by lamp light and could open and shut their garage. To make it even crazier, my parents needed a key to get in the front door, that was different from the one they had with them, so they called me. Since the child was already asleep, my husband went over and through his sly, sneaky skills, was able to get them in their house. The power company was called and after a short while, discovered the martyred squirrel in the power box.
I can just picture the group of squirrels standing on the edge of the wood, snickering and high-fiving each other, as we all know they do, relishing in the sweet, if only short-lived, revenge on the people who for the past year have been capturing and carting off all of their friends and family!!
Daddy -100+ ; Squirrels - 1
And the battle rages on...
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Thursday, September 17, 2009
If The Previous Post Made You Wonder...Here Is An Answer!
So I have been pondering...bet you all want to know what that post meant don't you? Yeah? Well, I am not telling...hahaha! It is pretty self explanatory, I think, although what you may wonder most is who I am talking about...and believe me , you who think you know...are WRONG!
That was a little "poem" I wrote, to myself, about ...myself.
I find that more and more I am closing ranks on who gets close to me, I find that I am tightening the grip on the ones that I speak with, the friends that mean the most to me, the ones who need me the most. I have always been one who had lots of friends...these days I only have a few in my world that I can count on and truthfully can count on me. The friendships that have ebbed from my life by my own choice have left that cold and cavernous spot. I wish I could explain it, make sense out of the turn in my personality. I used to want to be surrounded by friends, now, it just seems to zap my energy. I have built some HUGE walls, some days I feel like they might crumble down, sometimes I feel like I need to build them higher. Even as I wrote the poem, it felt like I was asking someone else why THEY left...when in fact, I was just asking myself...I am the one who has left the most.
Perhaps I am just older and wiser, learning to keep my own counsel or maybe life is just taking a different turn for me. I don't know, I just know that I when I wrote that poem to myself, I wanted to remind myself that I am the one, me, moi, it is I that has built the wall and shielded my life from some folks I love and miss on a daily basis. I am the builder of the wall and only I can take it down. I am trying to evaluate my life...it is a period of reflection...desiring to make the most of my time here on earth, with the ones I love the most!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
That was a little "poem" I wrote, to myself, about ...myself.
I find that more and more I am closing ranks on who gets close to me, I find that I am tightening the grip on the ones that I speak with, the friends that mean the most to me, the ones who need me the most. I have always been one who had lots of friends...these days I only have a few in my world that I can count on and truthfully can count on me. The friendships that have ebbed from my life by my own choice have left that cold and cavernous spot. I wish I could explain it, make sense out of the turn in my personality. I used to want to be surrounded by friends, now, it just seems to zap my energy. I have built some HUGE walls, some days I feel like they might crumble down, sometimes I feel like I need to build them higher. Even as I wrote the poem, it felt like I was asking someone else why THEY left...when in fact, I was just asking myself...I am the one who has left the most.
Perhaps I am just older and wiser, learning to keep my own counsel or maybe life is just taking a different turn for me. I don't know, I just know that I when I wrote that poem to myself, I wanted to remind myself that I am the one, me, moi, it is I that has built the wall and shielded my life from some folks I love and miss on a daily basis. I am the builder of the wall and only I can take it down. I am trying to evaluate my life...it is a period of reflection...desiring to make the most of my time here on earth, with the ones I love the most!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Ponder: prolonged inconclusive thinking about a matter
Don't know what it is
Or more importantly even what it was
Only know that gone
The shell left behind is cold and cavernous
I wish there was a "why"
Just one sentence that would make some sense
An explanation of the fortress
Or care that the pain is real?
How can remaining silent and cold behind that wall
Really better after all?
Or more importantly even what it was
Only know that gone
The shell left behind is cold and cavernous
I wish there was a "why"
Just one sentence that would make some sense
An explanation of the fortress
Or care that the pain is real?
How can remaining silent and cold behind that wall
Really better after all?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Content?
I am here again...in the writer's block spot! There is a desperate need in me to write, but for some reason, there is nothing bubbling to the surface...yet!
Trying to break this wretched situation I took a look back at my posts from last year at this time, they are all about Fall and Fall type activities. Reading them made me realize how busy my life has gotten since then. I was a part-time preschool teacher, I had a few days a week all to myself for shopping or lunch with friends while my little one was in pre-k. I meandered the sales racks and spend long hours sitting in Panera writing. I had time to do housework and revel in decorating the house for fall. And my Saturdays were spent strolling through art festivals and car shows and even a rodeo.
Tonight, in my "not as clean as it ought to be" house, as I sit and look at the heap of laundry in the hampers and rub my aching feet from wearing "not as comfortable as I would like" shoes all day I am wondering "is my life better or worse now than last year or is it just different?"
I think it is just different. I could sit and moan and groan about going back to work...but actually, it was my choice and it is still technically part-time. I could whine over the loss of shopping and visiting time, but truthfully, the checkbook is happier and the one friend I wanted the most to carve out time for is not as available to me now anyway. I could wring my hands in desperation that the housewife that lives inside me is being squashed and deprived of her ambition, but really, I think we all know that housework is not my passion in life.
So, I look at last year, and then gaze at this year through my oh, so, sleep deprived eyes and realize that life may be busier, every second of the day is squeezed for all it is worth, but the quality of time spent with my daughter has not been affected, the time spent with the ones most important to me, although not as frequent, is still cherished and given priority in my schedule, and I still have at least one day a week to do some of that shopping and lunching, so life is different, not bad different, just different.
I have learned to be content...to savor the moments in a whole new way and for that lesson alone, tonight as I head off to an early bedtime, I am thankful from the bottom of my heart.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev
Trying to break this wretched situation I took a look back at my posts from last year at this time, they are all about Fall and Fall type activities. Reading them made me realize how busy my life has gotten since then. I was a part-time preschool teacher, I had a few days a week all to myself for shopping or lunch with friends while my little one was in pre-k. I meandered the sales racks and spend long hours sitting in Panera writing. I had time to do housework and revel in decorating the house for fall. And my Saturdays were spent strolling through art festivals and car shows and even a rodeo.
Tonight, in my "not as clean as it ought to be" house, as I sit and look at the heap of laundry in the hampers and rub my aching feet from wearing "not as comfortable as I would like" shoes all day I am wondering "is my life better or worse now than last year or is it just different?"
I think it is just different. I could sit and moan and groan about going back to work...but actually, it was my choice and it is still technically part-time. I could whine over the loss of shopping and visiting time, but truthfully, the checkbook is happier and the one friend I wanted the most to carve out time for is not as available to me now anyway. I could wring my hands in desperation that the housewife that lives inside me is being squashed and deprived of her ambition, but really, I think we all know that housework is not my passion in life.
So, I look at last year, and then gaze at this year through my oh, so, sleep deprived eyes and realize that life may be busier, every second of the day is squeezed for all it is worth, but the quality of time spent with my daughter has not been affected, the time spent with the ones most important to me, although not as frequent, is still cherished and given priority in my schedule, and I still have at least one day a week to do some of that shopping and lunching, so life is different, not bad different, just different.
I have learned to be content...to savor the moments in a whole new way and for that lesson alone, tonight as I head off to an early bedtime, I am thankful from the bottom of my heart.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev
Monday, September 14, 2009
He Gave Us "The Time of Our Lives!"
I am saddened tonight to learn of Patrick Swayze's death. I was just a young chicka when he arrived on the Hollywood scene and stole my heart as Orry Main, in the mini-series The North and The South. I think I watched everything else he did after that as well, Dirty Dancing, Ghost, even those bar room brawling movies...I am just so sad to see one of my favorites gone.He left this earth too soon!
Rest In Peace, Patrick Swayze!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Life in a Northern Town
So, we headed up "north" of our state, to the quaint German village and had a great weekend.Here are some highlights from our trip...
We visited a Pumpkin Patch...
Saw a parade and had our face painted...
We watched a football game...poor Gamecocks (I even cheered them on -- believe it or not!)
We climbed a tree...
And we skipped some rocks...
It was a great weekend away...just over too soon!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Saturday, September 12, 2009
A Brief Getaway!
Just about every year for the past 26 or so, my family has traveled to a quaint little town a few hours from our home for a week of mountain fun. My parents acquired a timeshare condo there and we have always enjoyed the crisp mountain air that heralds the start of my favorite time of year...FALL, gathering a pumpkin or two and relaxing to the sounds of German polka music and ooey funnel cakes.
Since I have grown up and our of my parent's home, it is not every year that I get to go and take part in my family ritual started so long ago. But this weekend, thanks to my sweet husband being a bit unselfish and understanding and letting his " girls" take off today and spend the weekend away.
As you read this we will probably be on the road, driving north to cooler weather, funnel cakes and boiled peanuts. Have a great weekend...I know we will!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Since I have grown up and our of my parent's home, it is not every year that I get to go and take part in my family ritual started so long ago. But this weekend, thanks to my sweet husband being a bit unselfish and understanding and letting his " girls" take off today and spend the weekend away.
As you read this we will probably be on the road, driving north to cooler weather, funnel cakes and boiled peanuts. Have a great weekend...I know we will!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Friday, September 11, 2009
Happy Patriot's Day!
Happy Patriot's Day...today's post is a repeat of the one I wrote last year.
BLUE
I remember it was a beautiful, normal morning.
I got up, got ready, drove to work and settled in at the desk. Soon, the phone was ringing. No big surprise, the youth director was running late - he told me he was getting ready and had been watching the Today show when a small plane had flown into one of the twin towers in New York City. He urged me and my co-workers to go cut a tv on (we worked in a church - so there were tv's around!) and see it. I remember thinking it was odd, but I wandered down the hallway anyway and casually mentioned it to my co-workers.
It was a slow morning -we decided to wander to the media room and check it out.
I will never forget the site we saw as we turned on the television. Never. forget. it. We watched with the entire nation as the second plane headed straight for the second tower and then the rest of the morning is a blur. Well, all except that blue, blue sky.
Soon, the phones lit up, parents concerned for the children in the preschool program at the church, all of us calling friends discussing the horror we were witness to on our television screens.
My next memory is of all of us gathering again and praying for the people who we knew had to be trapped in those now smoking, burning towers. We had learned of the plane crashing into the Pentagon in Washington,DC and the lost plane, which turned out to be the famous doomed Flight 93. I remember that blue sky as the perfect backdrop to that first tower falling before our eyes and again as the second one fell.
It was a morning I will never forget. It was September 11, 2001.
I can tell you every person who was standing with me. Carel, Molly, Pat, Becky, Alice and Jon. I know that I was wearing black pants and blue blouse. Blue - the color of the day.
It was a moment that changed everything in my world, from exaggerating my fear of flying, to the course of our adoption and the direct growth of my immediate family. At the time of the attacks, we were slated for international adoption, over the course of the next year, we watched as not one, but two agencies we had chosen to work with, closed shop due to the aftermath of that day.
I can't see a firehouse, or hear a siren go off without remembering the shrill sounds replayed over the following days of September 11th. The piercing call of alarms signaling to the world that over 300 men and women of New York's finest perished in the rubble of those buildings I watched fall, while the blue, blue sky stood and watched.
I can't walk by a missing person poster at Walmart or the post office or a utility pole, without thinking of all those papers, blowing in the wind, lining the streets of New York, putting the faces of the missing loved ones of that horrific day into all of our minds, as reporters broadcast day and night standing in front of those displays, interviewing those left behind to search. It was gripping. I remember just sitting and watching the tv, crying with those who were hopeless, helpless to make sense of the tragedy and to find the ones they loved.
I remember where I was when Reagen was shot - sitting in Bible class when Richard Jimenez and Joel Presley came running in to tell us. I remember where I was when the space shuttle fell out of the sky, sitting in a college classroom, but those events, no matter how sad and tragic, have not impacted me nearly the same as when I stood in the church media center and watched those towers fall against that blue, blue sky.
Whether I personally knew anyone that day or not, the event marked my life, my family, my future as I know it did countless numbers of us as Americans.
My prayer is that the families of those lost on that day are comforted today. That they know that their loved ones are remembered, and that we as a nation will hopefully never forget.
When I think of that day, I think of the average person, taking the train to downtown New York, or out to the Pentagon or maybe driving to the airport for a routine flight. I picture them as they start their day, grab their coffee, hug their loved ones, check their baggage, joke with co-workers and then suddenly, meet their end - unexpectedly.
What a lesson for those of us left behind to remember them all. Live our life, love and hug more, joke and laugh more, and prepare our hearts every morning to live the day as if at any moment we would meet our end.
Prayers for all!
Happy Patriot's Day,
Bev
BLUE
I remember it was a beautiful, normal morning.
I got up, got ready, drove to work and settled in at the desk. Soon, the phone was ringing. No big surprise, the youth director was running late - he told me he was getting ready and had been watching the Today show when a small plane had flown into one of the twin towers in New York City. He urged me and my co-workers to go cut a tv on (we worked in a church - so there were tv's around!) and see it. I remember thinking it was odd, but I wandered down the hallway anyway and casually mentioned it to my co-workers.
It was a slow morning -we decided to wander to the media room and check it out.
I will never forget the site we saw as we turned on the television. Never. forget. it. We watched with the entire nation as the second plane headed straight for the second tower and then the rest of the morning is a blur. Well, all except that blue, blue sky.
Soon, the phones lit up, parents concerned for the children in the preschool program at the church, all of us calling friends discussing the horror we were witness to on our television screens.
My next memory is of all of us gathering again and praying for the people who we knew had to be trapped in those now smoking, burning towers. We had learned of the plane crashing into the Pentagon in Washington,DC and the lost plane, which turned out to be the famous doomed Flight 93. I remember that blue sky as the perfect backdrop to that first tower falling before our eyes and again as the second one fell.
It was a morning I will never forget. It was September 11, 2001.
I can tell you every person who was standing with me. Carel, Molly, Pat, Becky, Alice and Jon. I know that I was wearing black pants and blue blouse. Blue - the color of the day.
It was a moment that changed everything in my world, from exaggerating my fear of flying, to the course of our adoption and the direct growth of my immediate family. At the time of the attacks, we were slated for international adoption, over the course of the next year, we watched as not one, but two agencies we had chosen to work with, closed shop due to the aftermath of that day.
I can't see a firehouse, or hear a siren go off without remembering the shrill sounds replayed over the following days of September 11th. The piercing call of alarms signaling to the world that over 300 men and women of New York's finest perished in the rubble of those buildings I watched fall, while the blue, blue sky stood and watched.
I can't walk by a missing person poster at Walmart or the post office or a utility pole, without thinking of all those papers, blowing in the wind, lining the streets of New York, putting the faces of the missing loved ones of that horrific day into all of our minds, as reporters broadcast day and night standing in front of those displays, interviewing those left behind to search. It was gripping. I remember just sitting and watching the tv, crying with those who were hopeless, helpless to make sense of the tragedy and to find the ones they loved.
I remember where I was when Reagen was shot - sitting in Bible class when Richard Jimenez and Joel Presley came running in to tell us. I remember where I was when the space shuttle fell out of the sky, sitting in a college classroom, but those events, no matter how sad and tragic, have not impacted me nearly the same as when I stood in the church media center and watched those towers fall against that blue, blue sky.
Whether I personally knew anyone that day or not, the event marked my life, my family, my future as I know it did countless numbers of us as Americans.
My prayer is that the families of those lost on that day are comforted today. That they know that their loved ones are remembered, and that we as a nation will hopefully never forget.
When I think of that day, I think of the average person, taking the train to downtown New York, or out to the Pentagon or maybe driving to the airport for a routine flight. I picture them as they start their day, grab their coffee, hug their loved ones, check their baggage, joke with co-workers and then suddenly, meet their end - unexpectedly.
What a lesson for those of us left behind to remember them all. Live our life, love and hug more, joke and laugh more, and prepare our hearts every morning to live the day as if at any moment we would meet our end.
Prayers for all!
Happy Patriot's Day,
Bev
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Home
After a particularly long day, I drove up the road that leads to my house this afternoon and smiled…I was home. HOME!
Never is that concept sweeter to me than when I am tired and weary and feeling as if the world is too much for me. My house is not my home, it is just a building, but it houses my family, my child, my memories and that is my real home. I feel safe there, content, able to be myself and let my guard down. I can wear old clothes and no makeup and no one seems to mind. I can cry or scream or laugh inappropriately. The emotions of my day can ooze out of me in whatever form they wish to take, it is home, I am accepted, I am loved, and I am secure. I can be…ME!
Never is that concept sweeter to me than when I am tired and weary and feeling as if the world is too much for me. My house is not my home, it is just a building, but it houses my family, my child, my memories and that is my real home. I feel safe there, content, able to be myself and let my guard down. I can wear old clothes and no makeup and no one seems to mind. I can cry or scream or laugh inappropriately. The emotions of my day can ooze out of me in whatever form they wish to take, it is home, I am accepted, I am loved, and I am secure. I can be…ME!
This afternoon it was good to be home. It was nice to know that my frazzled brain and wearied bones had a soft place to rest.
Home is not just a place, sometimes it is a person. Sometimes we need to seek out comfort and refreshment from the company of someone who knows and loves us. I long to be that “home” for the those I love and I am grateful for all those who are “home” to me when I need shelter from life’s storms. It reminded me of an old song lyric by Billy Joel…called “You’re My Home.” One particular stanza catches my thoughts just perfectly. I have copied them here for you to ponder and enjoy as well.
“Well I'll never be a stranger
and I'll never be alone
wherever we're together
that's my home.”
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Monday, September 7, 2009
Ten Things on Monday!
Ten Things to Be Happy About Today!
1. Sleeping late
2. Clean laundry
3. Kisses from my girl to wake me up
4. A long bubble bath to start the day
5. Lunch with a friend who really understands me
6. Seeing my parent's new home addition
7. Potato chips with french onion dip
8. Hair that is easy to manage
9. My headache has kinda dulled and is almost gone
10. Choosing to believe, rather than speculate!
Now, what are your ten things?
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
1. Sleeping late
2. Clean laundry
3. Kisses from my girl to wake me up
4. A long bubble bath to start the day
5. Lunch with a friend who really understands me
6. Seeing my parent's new home addition
7. Potato chips with french onion dip
8. Hair that is easy to manage
9. My headache has kinda dulled and is almost gone
10. Choosing to believe, rather than speculate!
Now, what are your ten things?
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Sunday, September 6, 2009
A Bump in the Road...I Mean, in the Head
I sat here to write one thing, but I keep stumbling and searching for words and the thought I wanted to pull through the haze and plant in the fertile soil of this post is elusive tonight.
My head is still hurting... it is a dull, throb at the top of my skull. I wonder if it will ever go away? I have taken my fair share of Tylenol as prescribed by the doctor and I realize it is only three days since I konked my noggin, but the pain is still with me. It makes me a little wary that perhaps like the small spot on my wrist where an IV once was injected and pulses and aches whenever the rain is hitting our roof, I will forever feel this throbbing in my head.
I am no stranger to a bit of pain. I once knew a King of Pain... but that is another story. I can weather the bumps and bruises life throws at me, I just don't like it to stick around very long. I am trying to be brave, to weather this bump. I am trying to not moan and complain, although this post is certainly starting to feel like a complaining one.
My daughter has prayed over my head, she has enough faith for both of us that the bump will go down and the pain will retreat. I am betting her faith will serve us both well. My minor aliment is nothing when I compare it with others who are suffering. I have learned in the past week of two who are dealing with more major issues than a noggin with a dent. I am trying to put my head ache to good use and with every pulsing pain that shoots through me, I am saying a prayer for two people in my life that are facing even bigger battles.
Maybe that is why trials and bumps in the road happen to us; to remind us that to us it might be a big bump, but in relation to others and their traveling roads, it is small scale. We should always be thankful for our own road, our own bumps and our own lessons and be mindful to pray for those that travel with us.
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
My head is still hurting... it is a dull, throb at the top of my skull. I wonder if it will ever go away? I have taken my fair share of Tylenol as prescribed by the doctor and I realize it is only three days since I konked my noggin, but the pain is still with me. It makes me a little wary that perhaps like the small spot on my wrist where an IV once was injected and pulses and aches whenever the rain is hitting our roof, I will forever feel this throbbing in my head.
I am no stranger to a bit of pain. I once knew a King of Pain... but that is another story. I can weather the bumps and bruises life throws at me, I just don't like it to stick around very long. I am trying to be brave, to weather this bump. I am trying to not moan and complain, although this post is certainly starting to feel like a complaining one.
My daughter has prayed over my head, she has enough faith for both of us that the bump will go down and the pain will retreat. I am betting her faith will serve us both well. My minor aliment is nothing when I compare it with others who are suffering. I have learned in the past week of two who are dealing with more major issues than a noggin with a dent. I am trying to put my head ache to good use and with every pulsing pain that shoots through me, I am saying a prayer for two people in my life that are facing even bigger battles.
Maybe that is why trials and bumps in the road happen to us; to remind us that to us it might be a big bump, but in relation to others and their traveling roads, it is small scale. We should always be thankful for our own road, our own bumps and our own lessons and be mindful to pray for those that travel with us.
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
A Wizard, A Tin Man, A ScareCrow, A Lion and A MOUSE!
We celebrated 5 years in style.Saturday morning was spent with Chuck E Cheese at his place...playing lots of games, eating pizza, cake and opening presents with some of the cutest five year olds we know.
Saturday afternoon was filled with a nap for everyone in my house -- a rare, but welcome event!
Saturday evening was spent at a local Japanese Steakhouse...where my child got her first experinece with a tableside chef complete with fire and smoke and volcanos made out of onions. It was a blast!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev
Friday, September 4, 2009
Bang, Bang, Bang!... Or Nothing Like A Concussion to End An Afternoon !
My child loves to sing "Love Shack", the old 80's hit by the B-52's. She acquired her taste in music from her momma...it's one of my favorites too! Her favorite part is the "bang, bang, bang on the door" section -- she just loves it. Yesterday afternoon I gave her a good visual of that particular line...when bang, bang, bang, went our SUV's hatch door on my hard old head!
Turns out... my head is not so hard after all - so all of you have been calling stubborn all my life -- think again!
Yes, after getting groceries out of the back of our SUV, I attempted to close the door and apparently my superhuman strength and sadly, slow reflexes combined and brought the door down right on the top of my head. It felt like Hollywood, I saw stars and glitter and then everything went black. I was able to somehow dial my husband on the phone, we are guessing I used speed dial from our caller id, because I couldn't really think or speak clearly and remembering his work phone number would have been impossible for me at that moment. Thankfully he answered the phone, and was able to call for help from my parents who don't live very far from us. My child was happily playing in the backyard, so she was not near me at this time, I think she would have been forever traumatized. My parents arrived and my mom stayed with Hannah while my daddy drove me to the ER. After seeing the doctor, it was determined that I had suffered a head injury but didn't need to be hospitalized. I was given a list of things to watch out for in the next 12 hours and told to go home.
I think I was very lucky. I did have to spend the entire night being woken up every two hours and my poor husband is now asleep after working all day yesterday and staying up all night last night to make sure I was still alive. I believe I scared everyone around me, including myself!
The swelling has gone down a bit, my head is throbbing worse than any headache I have ever had and my neck and shoulders are complaining too...but otherwise, I am alive and well. I have learned a powerful lesson or two in this ordeal; one is that I should eat something during the day...I neglected that yesterday and then the doctor told me I couldn't eat for twelve hours after the injury...which means that basically I fasted yesterday, without meaning too! But my bowl of grits this morning was possibly the best I have ever eaten!! The second lesson I have learned is that I will now don a helmet before unloading groceries...or maybe I will just let someone else unload the groceries for me!!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev
Turns out... my head is not so hard after all - so all of you have been calling stubborn all my life -- think again!
Yes, after getting groceries out of the back of our SUV, I attempted to close the door and apparently my superhuman strength and sadly, slow reflexes combined and brought the door down right on the top of my head. It felt like Hollywood, I saw stars and glitter and then everything went black. I was able to somehow dial my husband on the phone, we are guessing I used speed dial from our caller id, because I couldn't really think or speak clearly and remembering his work phone number would have been impossible for me at that moment. Thankfully he answered the phone, and was able to call for help from my parents who don't live very far from us. My child was happily playing in the backyard, so she was not near me at this time, I think she would have been forever traumatized. My parents arrived and my mom stayed with Hannah while my daddy drove me to the ER. After seeing the doctor, it was determined that I had suffered a head injury but didn't need to be hospitalized. I was given a list of things to watch out for in the next 12 hours and told to go home.
I think I was very lucky. I did have to spend the entire night being woken up every two hours and my poor husband is now asleep after working all day yesterday and staying up all night last night to make sure I was still alive. I believe I scared everyone around me, including myself!
The swelling has gone down a bit, my head is throbbing worse than any headache I have ever had and my neck and shoulders are complaining too...but otherwise, I am alive and well. I have learned a powerful lesson or two in this ordeal; one is that I should eat something during the day...I neglected that yesterday and then the doctor told me I couldn't eat for twelve hours after the injury...which means that basically I fasted yesterday, without meaning too! But my bowl of grits this morning was possibly the best I have ever eaten!! The second lesson I have learned is that I will now don a helmet before unloading groceries...or maybe I will just let someone else unload the groceries for me!!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Happy Day, Happy Day!!!
Happy September 3rd!!
I celebrate this day every year. It all began in 1982, on this fateful when I met my friend Abe. Whatever it is that connects two people in life happened that day and after twenty-seven years of friendship...we are still close, we still talk as often as life allows us to and I am still forever grateful for the friend God gave me that day long ago.
Here's another little September 3rd tidbit that always causes me to smile. September 3rd is the day we brought home our sweet Hannah from the hospital after she was born. It was a milestone day for our family, it was a day that really changed our lives forever! I will never forget the car ride from the hospital to our home away from home. It was forty-five minutes, but sitting in the back of our suv, looking at that tiny little baby strapped into that huge car seat, inches away from all those other cars on the highway was the most nerve-wracking experience of my life. Thank goodness for the steady driving of my husband! We arrived at the house to a cake baked with love by Hannah's MeMa and the start of our new life began. The memories of that day are etched in my brain and pondered in my heart for the rest of my life.
September 3rd has always been a great day for me, I am hoping the same kind of miraculous, happy and momentous day for you!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev
I celebrate this day every year. It all began in 1982, on this fateful when I met my friend Abe. Whatever it is that connects two people in life happened that day and after twenty-seven years of friendship...we are still close, we still talk as often as life allows us to and I am still forever grateful for the friend God gave me that day long ago.
Here's another little September 3rd tidbit that always causes me to smile. September 3rd is the day we brought home our sweet Hannah from the hospital after she was born. It was a milestone day for our family, it was a day that really changed our lives forever! I will never forget the car ride from the hospital to our home away from home. It was forty-five minutes, but sitting in the back of our suv, looking at that tiny little baby strapped into that huge car seat, inches away from all those other cars on the highway was the most nerve-wracking experience of my life. Thank goodness for the steady driving of my husband! We arrived at the house to a cake baked with love by Hannah's MeMa and the start of our new life began. The memories of that day are etched in my brain and pondered in my heart for the rest of my life.
September 3rd has always been a great day for me, I am hoping the same kind of miraculous, happy and momentous day for you!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
And So Year Three Begins...
Several of you have been kind enough to inquire about my new job and how it is going,to you, I would like to say thank you - it means so much. So far, four days into it...it is going swimmingly! Probably more for the fact that I am not really sure of my total job responsibilities and therefore I have the luxury of just pretending to know what I am doing. I have somewhat of an idea of the scope of the position, I am certain I can handle it, but right now I am just trying to navigate a mountain of paperwork which has found its way to my office and learn the ropes of the organization...it is my own version of SURVIVOR, BIG BROTHER and SO, YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!!
We celebrated Hannah's birthday in a fun, but small way yesterday and we will have the big blowout this weekend with all her friends. She had the option of wearing a Birthday Crown at school or getting a Birthday Pencil...she chose the pencil. Maybe she is gonna like academics after all...here's hoping!
I realize I have been lax on my postings this week and I have several inspired pieces that need some "tweaking" before I hit the "PUBLISH" button, but I promise, I will be back to regular posting at least by the end of the week. Thanks for hanging out with me until then...I appreciate your readership, more than you could ever understand.
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
We celebrated Hannah's birthday in a fun, but small way yesterday and we will have the big blowout this weekend with all her friends. She had the option of wearing a Birthday Crown at school or getting a Birthday Pencil...she chose the pencil. Maybe she is gonna like academics after all...here's hoping!
I realize I have been lax on my postings this week and I have several inspired pieces that need some "tweaking" before I hit the "PUBLISH" button, but I promise, I will be back to regular posting at least by the end of the week. Thanks for hanging out with me until then...I appreciate your readership, more than you could ever understand.
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
A Happy Day Filled with Happy Moments and Memories!
Today marks my second year of blogging, my fifth year of motherhood and my fourth day at work in my new job. I am writing this at 5:15 AM and I am tired! T-I-R-E-D!
I have so much more to write, but my fingers are still asleep...so I hope all of you have a great day and I will be back, hopefully, later this afternoon with a real post!!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
I have so much more to write, but my fingers are still asleep...so I hope all of you have a great day and I will be back, hopefully, later this afternoon with a real post!!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
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