Yesterday I did...a bunch of stuff!!!
Today...I have done a bunch of stuff too,
But mainly...
I have just cried all day!
I cried when I dropped my child off at cheerleading camp!
I cried in Target when I saw some cute Halloween baby outfits (those days are LONG gone!)
I cried in the mall at the food court while listening to friends talk
I cried on the way to pick my child up from cheerleading camp
I think my heart has a crack in it...and tears just seep out...at random and strange times!
Tonight... I am just
Living in the Moment!
Bev
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Today
Today I have...
made breakfast for my girl
deposited her at school
panicked over a forgotten t-shirt order (thankfully I had it in the car all the time!)
taken a long and lovely shower with sweet smelly soap and lots of hot warm water
driven through my old stomping grounds and gazed in awe of change
had lunch with a friend
talked for a few hours and laughed a few hours more
hugged someone I love
make that two someones
NOPE...make that four someones!
came home to make dinner for my little family
gathered my girl from her GREAT day at school
did dishes
did laundry
sang some sad country songs along with the radio
watched a movie with my child
did some more dishes
fed the cat and brushed his hair
waited on dark to come
dreamed about the day ending
put on my new pj's
climbed into bed
thanked God for another day, another chance, another hug, another sweet kiss and the hope that tomorrow I can get up and do it all over again!
made breakfast for my girl
deposited her at school
panicked over a forgotten t-shirt order (thankfully I had it in the car all the time!)
taken a long and lovely shower with sweet smelly soap and lots of hot warm water
driven through my old stomping grounds and gazed in awe of change
had lunch with a friend
talked for a few hours and laughed a few hours more
hugged someone I love
make that two someones
NOPE...make that four someones!
came home to make dinner for my little family
gathered my girl from her GREAT day at school
did dishes
did laundry
sang some sad country songs along with the radio
watched a movie with my child
did some more dishes
fed the cat and brushed his hair
waited on dark to come
dreamed about the day ending
put on my new pj's
climbed into bed
thanked God for another day, another chance, another hug, another sweet kiss and the hope that tomorrow I can get up and do it all over again!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A Little Bit of Chocolate Goes A Long Way
Two days ago, early in the morning, as I was getting my car loaded up for the day with book bag, lunch box, my purse, my work bag, etc, etc, etc, I noticed a spot of icky, gooey, melted chocolate on the my daughter's booster seat. I remembered I had carted home a dirty plate from a cake I had baked for my girls at work the day before and placed in her booster seat for a safer ride home and apparently some of the chocolate had melted and formed a puddle in her seat. It was already five minutes past time to leave so I did what any good mother would do...I threw a small towel over it and vowed to clean it up later in the afternoon.
As I went back inside and grabbed my Coke, my daughter climbed in the car and buckled herself in tightly. I jumped in the driver's seat, pulled out of the drive and shimmied down the road to her school. I had completely forgotten the chocolate and the towel. Well, almost completely, that is, until I watched my child exit the car in the car line and start the walk up to the school door. It was then I saw it - the towel, thrown off of the seat and lying on the floorboard and the dark chocolate stain on the back of her outfit! But it was far too late. Car line moves quickly - I was almost out of the parking lot before I could gather all my thoughts together. I was mad - why did she throw the towel off the seat before she sat down...didn't she see the spot, didn't she know it would stain, what was she thinking? I stopped the car and ran to the school entrance, I found her and quickly took her to the bathroom to wipe the chocolate off and try and minimize the damage. I asked her why she sat on it and of course her first grade reply was that she didn't see it! She just knew she didn't want to sit on the towel. It was strange and unusual and didn't belong in her seat so she got rid of it. She tossed it aside with no regard for the real reason it was there.
After she was clean and safely deposited in her class, I continued on the rest of the way to work. About five minutes into my drive on the highway it hit me that I do the same thing, probably more times than I care to imagine.
I think I know best, I forget that God is in control. I forget that He can see the spots of sin that are constantly around me, just waiting for me to toss the protection aside and let them stain me, my life, my witness. It made me stop and wonder about all the times in my life when I disregard the protection of God...the small voice that tells me to do this, or that, the gentle reminder to pray for my child or my husband or my parents, the tug on my heart that says "get up and go to church" when all I want to do is sleep a few more hours on a Sunday. How often are these things set in place by God to keep me on the path that leads to Him, and how often do I toss them aside, without regard for why they are there because they are uncomfortable or contrary to what I want to do and how many stains have I let soil my soul because of it?
The stain on my child's clothes was easily blotted away with a towel and some water, the stains on my heart and soul require much stronger stuff...thankfully God's love has provided the blood of Christ to cleanse it all away.
Living Happily in the Moment!
As I went back inside and grabbed my Coke, my daughter climbed in the car and buckled herself in tightly. I jumped in the driver's seat, pulled out of the drive and shimmied down the road to her school. I had completely forgotten the chocolate and the towel. Well, almost completely, that is, until I watched my child exit the car in the car line and start the walk up to the school door. It was then I saw it - the towel, thrown off of the seat and lying on the floorboard and the dark chocolate stain on the back of her outfit! But it was far too late. Car line moves quickly - I was almost out of the parking lot before I could gather all my thoughts together. I was mad - why did she throw the towel off the seat before she sat down...didn't she see the spot, didn't she know it would stain, what was she thinking? I stopped the car and ran to the school entrance, I found her and quickly took her to the bathroom to wipe the chocolate off and try and minimize the damage. I asked her why she sat on it and of course her first grade reply was that she didn't see it! She just knew she didn't want to sit on the towel. It was strange and unusual and didn't belong in her seat so she got rid of it. She tossed it aside with no regard for the real reason it was there.
After she was clean and safely deposited in her class, I continued on the rest of the way to work. About five minutes into my drive on the highway it hit me that I do the same thing, probably more times than I care to imagine.
I think I know best, I forget that God is in control. I forget that He can see the spots of sin that are constantly around me, just waiting for me to toss the protection aside and let them stain me, my life, my witness. It made me stop and wonder about all the times in my life when I disregard the protection of God...the small voice that tells me to do this, or that, the gentle reminder to pray for my child or my husband or my parents, the tug on my heart that says "get up and go to church" when all I want to do is sleep a few more hours on a Sunday. How often are these things set in place by God to keep me on the path that leads to Him, and how often do I toss them aside, without regard for why they are there because they are uncomfortable or contrary to what I want to do and how many stains have I let soil my soul because of it?
The stain on my child's clothes was easily blotted away with a towel and some water, the stains on my heart and soul require much stronger stuff...thankfully God's love has provided the blood of Christ to cleanse it all away.
Living Happily in the Moment!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Kieran
Here is my sweet Irish boy...doing what he likes best...sitting in my windowsill!Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
A Different Face
The last time I wrote here, I wrote of the face of my friend. It was a face that conjured up my worst fears and questions of faith that truthfully I know will never be completely answered this side of Heaven. Tonight, I looked at another face, one that has turned at least one of my questions of faith into acclamations of gratitude. I forget it sometimes, and it was nice to be reminded among all the other chaos in my world. Those sweet eyes, perfectly pinched nose and rosy mouth, the translucent skin, the freckles that dot her face all reminded me tonight that this is a face that I didn't know six years ago. This is the face that completes all my family pictures now, and this is the face that I thought I would never gaze upon. This face belongs to my daughter.
I was the one destined to question the Heavens, to rant and rave and plead and beg for a child...a live child, to hold and kiss and nurture and adore. It was a gift withheld from me for longer than most. I lived through my friends having babies, I saw children I knew from their infancy grow up and have babies, I watched it all through teary eyes. I saw people on television older than my own mother having babies, I saw couples having multiple babies at one time and young girls barely in their teens having babies. It hurt! It was excruciating! It broke my heart so many times that even now, with my prayers answered, the scar tissue runs deep. I still hate baby showers, baby dedication day at church is just not the place for me and even now if I hear of someone having a baby, I cringe...just a little.
But tonight as I lay with my sweet little girl as she drifted off to sleep, I thought of the contrast between her face and the face of my friend that has haunted me since Sunday. Two different people and relationships in my life, two very different faces and yet, they have both led me to thank God for the blessings in my life. No matter the question of faith each brings me to...the answer is always the same, His Glory, His Glory, His Glory. It is all for His glory and who am I to question the ways of a God that is higher and more wonderous than I can even imagine? I am just thankful to be able to see a tiny smidget of His glory in both of those faces that I love.
I am headed to bed tonight with the conviction that because He answered one of my questions of faith with the face of my child, I know he will answer all the others...in the proper time and place. Until then...I am just hanging on!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
I was the one destined to question the Heavens, to rant and rave and plead and beg for a child...a live child, to hold and kiss and nurture and adore. It was a gift withheld from me for longer than most. I lived through my friends having babies, I saw children I knew from their infancy grow up and have babies, I watched it all through teary eyes. I saw people on television older than my own mother having babies, I saw couples having multiple babies at one time and young girls barely in their teens having babies. It hurt! It was excruciating! It broke my heart so many times that even now, with my prayers answered, the scar tissue runs deep. I still hate baby showers, baby dedication day at church is just not the place for me and even now if I hear of someone having a baby, I cringe...just a little.
But tonight as I lay with my sweet little girl as she drifted off to sleep, I thought of the contrast between her face and the face of my friend that has haunted me since Sunday. Two different people and relationships in my life, two very different faces and yet, they have both led me to thank God for the blessings in my life. No matter the question of faith each brings me to...the answer is always the same, His Glory, His Glory, His Glory. It is all for His glory and who am I to question the ways of a God that is higher and more wonderous than I can even imagine? I am just thankful to be able to see a tiny smidget of His glory in both of those faces that I love.
I am headed to bed tonight with the conviction that because He answered one of my questions of faith with the face of my child, I know he will answer all the others...in the proper time and place. Until then...I am just hanging on!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Happy Birthday!
Today is my mom's birthday! We all took a trip to Social Circle, GA and ate at the Blue Willow Inn. It was wonderful...and I got to snap this really pretty picture of my sweet mom and my sweet girl!HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!! Hope you have a hundred more years on this earth - cause I don't know how I would make it without you around!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Friday, August 13, 2010
Friday the 13th...Complete with a Black Cat!
She kinda loves the kitty....Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Light Bulbs, Blown Glass, A Cheese Souffle, Me. What Do These Things Have In Common Tonight?
One of my favorite movies is A Christmas Story and one of my favorite parts is when the dad gets his big "prize" in a big box with FRAGILE written on the side and he pronounced it "Fra-Ge-Lay" with a strong Italian emphasis, thinking it was surely from Italy! It is hysterical - although I am sure I have not done it justice, in the wee tiniest bit, here.
Tonight - I am feeling FRA-GE-LAY too. There just seems to be so much going on around me and if I sit still for too long I feel like I will surely break. My life is stressful right now, I won't even try to sugar coat it for you. STRESSFUL!!!!!!!!!!
My nerves are close to the surface with starting back to work, my child back in school and deadlines all around. I have people in life that are struggling...some with death of loved ones, some with financial worries, some with spiritual strife, some with life altering illnesses of their loved ones and even some facing serious illness themselves. None, I repeat, NONE of these situations allow for me to do ANYTHING to help anyone and that in itself is stressing me out. I am a fixer. I like to help, I like to visit, I like to listen, I like to be "leaned on" when times are hard and if I can't do these things for someone I love who is hurting, it just bothers me.
So, tonight, as I sit here and think about all of this...I feel very fragile, very vulnerable, tired and helpless. Tonight, I just want to sit and cry. But I know I can't - not now, there is bedtime routine for my girl, laundry and a carpet to vacuum, there is a kitchen to tidy and clothes to make ready for tomorrow. My only hope is in the Living God of the universe, who sees all the needs of all the ones I love and knows just what to do in EVERY situation. Thank goodness that if I know nothing else tonight...I know that and for that reason alone, I may feel fragile, but I know I am strong!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Tonight - I am feeling FRA-GE-LAY too. There just seems to be so much going on around me and if I sit still for too long I feel like I will surely break. My life is stressful right now, I won't even try to sugar coat it for you. STRESSFUL!!!!!!!!!!
My nerves are close to the surface with starting back to work, my child back in school and deadlines all around. I have people in life that are struggling...some with death of loved ones, some with financial worries, some with spiritual strife, some with life altering illnesses of their loved ones and even some facing serious illness themselves. None, I repeat, NONE of these situations allow for me to do ANYTHING to help anyone and that in itself is stressing me out. I am a fixer. I like to help, I like to visit, I like to listen, I like to be "leaned on" when times are hard and if I can't do these things for someone I love who is hurting, it just bothers me.
So, tonight, as I sit here and think about all of this...I feel very fragile, very vulnerable, tired and helpless. Tonight, I just want to sit and cry. But I know I can't - not now, there is bedtime routine for my girl, laundry and a carpet to vacuum, there is a kitchen to tidy and clothes to make ready for tomorrow. My only hope is in the Living God of the universe, who sees all the needs of all the ones I love and knows just what to do in EVERY situation. Thank goodness that if I know nothing else tonight...I know that and for that reason alone, I may feel fragile, but I know I am strong!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Sweet Little Sleeping Boy!
Sweet sleeping boy!Poor kitty - he is surrounded by lots of pink things! This is Hannah's favorite scarf he is sleeping on - she thought he looked cold! He also has a pretty, very pink Princess blanket that she drapes around him at various times of the day...he is a very patient and oh so very tolerant of her loving care!
Oh - and his favorite person in the house...still my non-cat loving hubby --- who is beginning to really like him, even if he will NEVER admit!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Monday, August 9, 2010
1st Grade Checklist!
Welcome to life with a First Grader!
Favorite new pink dress - CHECK, Little Pet lunchbox - check , purple backpack filled with all the school supplies a gal could ever want - CHECK, annual picture by the school train - CHECK!
It seems like only yesterday we were taking this picture on her way to her Kindergarten class...my how time flies!
Kleenex for Mommy and Daddy - DOUBLE CHECK!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Favorite new pink dress - CHECK, Little Pet lunchbox - check , purple backpack filled with all the school supplies a gal could ever want - CHECK, annual picture by the school train - CHECK!
It seems like only yesterday we were taking this picture on her way to her Kindergarten class...my how time flies!
Kleenex for Mommy and Daddy - DOUBLE CHECK!Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Friday, August 6, 2010
Spike Moves to Georgia
Yesterday afternoon we welcomed our newest four legged friend into our home--Spike, the pretty black kitty cat!
Spike is a sweet boy and although he had a long day yesterday, was comfortable in our home within just a few hours. Now, there are two cat-lovers that live here and one husband/daddy that loves the two cat lovers. I would never put him in the "cat-lover" category! But thankfully he loves us! Hannah and I have wanted a cat one for quite awhile, so we are tickled to death to have such a sweet one come live with us. After letting him wander through the house and get comfortable with us, we tried to cajole Spike to come and sit in our laps many times. We tried treats, sweet talk, sitting calmly...all to no avail. He was still getting used to the place and wandering around. But guess what happened as soon as D came home and after his long day at work, sat in a chair to make a phone call...
Yep! You guessed it...Spike loves D! It was so funny - this is actually the third time he got in his lap, the first two times I was laughing too hard and couldn't get to the camera in time!
I am sure you can expect many more shots of Spike and his new best friend in the future!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Spike is a sweet boy and although he had a long day yesterday, was comfortable in our home within just a few hours. Now, there are two cat-lovers that live here and one husband/daddy that loves the two cat lovers. I would never put him in the "cat-lover" category! But thankfully he loves us! Hannah and I have wanted a cat one for quite awhile, so we are tickled to death to have such a sweet one come live with us. After letting him wander through the house and get comfortable with us, we tried to cajole Spike to come and sit in our laps many times. We tried treats, sweet talk, sitting calmly...all to no avail. He was still getting used to the place and wandering around. But guess what happened as soon as D came home and after his long day at work, sat in a chair to make a phone call...
Yep! You guessed it...Spike loves D! It was so funny - this is actually the third time he got in his lap, the first two times I was laughing too hard and couldn't get to the camera in time!
I am sure you can expect many more shots of Spike and his new best friend in the future!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Just Call Me Jonahette (That would be the girl version of Jonah!)
When I was a little girl, living in Louisiana, there was a singing group that I just loved. I think we saw them perform live and then bought the album (yes, I am old...it was back in the days of albums and not even cassettes or cds!). The name of the group was We Three Kings and they had one song that I just adored called "Did You Ever Hear God Speaking To You?" or at least that was the first line. Anyway...it was a great song and I have found myself remembering it and singing at least that first line over and over in my head for the past few days.
I have never actually heard an audible voice from God, but I have heard Him speak to me. Many times in my youth and young adulthood I would get very vivid impressions and I used them to help guide me (not all the time, but at least most of the time!). Several times in my adult life I have been given guidance through circumstances or just that feeling in my soul, which I believe that was God speaking to me. He has used other people, situations, sermons or devotions or even songs to speak to me at different times and at different levels.
This past month I had an experience with a dream, dreamt for four nights in a row. It was vivid, the same dream each time and carried a message that I know did not contradict God's Word and commandments...I can only place my hope that it was indeed God speaking to me, asking me to do something that was out of character for me, way off the comfort chart for me, but nonetheless, no matter how much I tried to ignore it, I knew that ultimately I would have to do it.
I will be honest, I didn't want to do it. The unworthiness of this sinful gal to do something like it was hard for me to overcome. It took me a month and a week to actual complete the task. I felt like Jonah (my dad will love that comparison!!) running from traveling to Ninevah. Thankfully I did not have get thrown overboard, eaten by a whale and hang out in the murky mire for three days, but I did spend an awful lot of energy trying (and failing!) to complete the task in my own power.
Sunday, I realized there was no denying it and whether or not I understood it, wanted to do it, felt like a worthless idiot or not...God had placed it on my heart and I had to do it.
Monday I prepared and Tuesday I did it. I can only pray that while I do not know the reason, I do know that God knows and will work it all out in His time and ultimate plan. As hard as it was to do, it is has taught me many lessons and for that I am grateful.
So, did you ever hear God speaking to you?
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
I have never actually heard an audible voice from God, but I have heard Him speak to me. Many times in my youth and young adulthood I would get very vivid impressions and I used them to help guide me (not all the time, but at least most of the time!). Several times in my adult life I have been given guidance through circumstances or just that feeling in my soul, which I believe that was God speaking to me. He has used other people, situations, sermons or devotions or even songs to speak to me at different times and at different levels.
This past month I had an experience with a dream, dreamt for four nights in a row. It was vivid, the same dream each time and carried a message that I know did not contradict God's Word and commandments...I can only place my hope that it was indeed God speaking to me, asking me to do something that was out of character for me, way off the comfort chart for me, but nonetheless, no matter how much I tried to ignore it, I knew that ultimately I would have to do it.
I will be honest, I didn't want to do it. The unworthiness of this sinful gal to do something like it was hard for me to overcome. It took me a month and a week to actual complete the task. I felt like Jonah (my dad will love that comparison!!) running from traveling to Ninevah. Thankfully I did not have get thrown overboard, eaten by a whale and hang out in the murky mire for three days, but I did spend an awful lot of energy trying (and failing!) to complete the task in my own power.
Sunday, I realized there was no denying it and whether or not I understood it, wanted to do it, felt like a worthless idiot or not...God had placed it on my heart and I had to do it.
Monday I prepared and Tuesday I did it. I can only pray that while I do not know the reason, I do know that God knows and will work it all out in His time and ultimate plan. As hard as it was to do, it is has taught me many lessons and for that I am grateful.
So, did you ever hear God speaking to you?
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Gratitude!
One of our best friends has watched his 82 year old father get sick and die in the last three days. It is heartbreaking to watch and feel so helpless. Hubby and I are just trying to do whatever we can to help out, but the process has opened our eyes to many things, things we have always known, but have certainly taken for granted in this blessed life of ours.
Danny and I are blessed beyond measure with our parents, all of whom are alive and kicking and for the most part healthy, healthy, healthy! They are fixtures in our daily lives, have a fantastic relationship with our child and travel and get out and about much more than we do! We don't say it nearly enough - but we love you all and are so thankful for MeMa, Papa, Gandma and Poppy and what you mean to our life!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
MILESTONE ALERT!
Hannah has now successfully spent the night at my parent's house! WHOO HOO!!! Maybe it helped that I refused to answer the phone after 9 PM last night -- but still!! WHOO HOO!! (just joking...I would have totally answered the phone!!)
Danny and I are blessed beyond measure with our parents, all of whom are alive and kicking and for the most part healthy, healthy, healthy! They are fixtures in our daily lives, have a fantastic relationship with our child and travel and get out and about much more than we do! We don't say it nearly enough - but we love you all and are so thankful for MeMa, Papa, Gandma and Poppy and what you mean to our life!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
MILESTONE ALERT!
Hannah has now successfully spent the night at my parent's house! WHOO HOO!!! Maybe it helped that I refused to answer the phone after 9 PM last night -- but still!! WHOO HOO!! (just joking...I would have totally answered the phone!!)
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