There is only one person on this earth who will completely understand that title. I absolutely love that fact. We've actually discussed this and determined that we will keep our secret until we die. Perhaps in Heaven we can share it - it won't really matter then and hopefully people could laugh with us. I have a feeling that most people would probably not get the joke here in their earthly form. So for now, at least on this earth, it is our secret and private joke.
Needless to say, the title of the blog is just a dip into the pool of thoughts swirling in my mind tonight. I know that it will take me a day or so to even finish this entry. When you read it - it will most likely be about three days old. The sentiments, however, are outside of time. It really will not matter if you read three days from now, or ten years from now - love is love, memories are memories and some things will never change.
This weekend I was granted the rare opportunity to step back in time, to visit with old friends and in some small way, feel like I was 25 years younger. Some of the people I spent time with were casual friends from that more youthful era. Relative strangers now, even though we all live in the same town. Some were friends on a bit deeper level, people I see now and again, socially or by chance. These are the friends who I know would be there for me if I truly needed it. The gift of time spent with former youth directors, who helped shape me into the person I am today, was priceless. It is amazing to me how people who are your earliest friends and influences always stay so close to your heart. I guess my life, my brain, and my emotional self, were fresh and new and these people just imprinted their stamp onto my life with indelible ink.
There was also time to spend with my bubblegum friend. Time we never get. It is truly remarkable to have your own memories intersect with another's in such a seamless way. To have someone finish a sentence for you, or start laughing before you can finish a story because they were there and know how the story ends. This particular relationship is sweet, there is no bitter aftertaste left for me. The bad times are so long ago (and truthfully weren't that bad!) and to be in this person's presence, is like visiting a missing piece of myself. We have the instant connect of old friends of the heart - no awkward moments, no stalls, just fun and laughter. Love in the purest form. Agape with a spark. It is only natural I guess that I sometimes wonder what life could have been like for us together. But I am more than confident that we both love the lives we have each made apart. How much sweeter still, to know though that we are still orbiting each other, albeit on the fringe, nonetheless, we are always there. Circles, bubbles, stuck in the same orbit, together for life. I looked at us today, all grown up and watching our children play together, and I was struck by how proud I was of who we were all those years ago and how proud I am of where we are in our lives today. Life is what it is - we are where we are for a reason. There are no regrets. We have our memories, we have our connection. For today, it is enough.
Reunions are fun. They are filled with laughter, good times, and bittersweet remembrances of those no longer with us. Sometimes they take you down paths you didn't even plan to go. The stroll down a memory lane long ago tucked away. No matter what toll it takes on me, I am thankful for my memories and the chance to relive it all again on a sweet, sunny day in November. Those people and our shared past have helped make me who I am today.
I am a wife, a mother, a friend, and somewhere deep inside I am fifteen and chewing watermelon bubble gum...
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