The Rest of My Life

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Sounds ominous doesn't it? Well, that is how I feel today. I am setting off on a journey - one that has been three years and nine months in the making. I am leaving this afternoon for a weekend away, away from my child for the first time since we brought her home from the hospital. This will mark the beginning of the rest of my life, time spent away from my daughter as I leave her and eventually she leaves me. It is a line in the sand that can never be erased.

I have dreamed of this day. I have dreaded this day. But it is here and I actually think it is going to be okay.

There have been a couple of times, especially over the past year, when I thought the time was getting close that soon my "baby" would be able to survive a whole day and night without mommy. She has been without her daddy quite a bit because as a shift worker, he is not often home at night, but I am always here. I establish the routine, tuck her in, read her stories...but she is older now. She can ask for what she wants, (and isn't afraid to do it!!), potty on her own and even dress herself (at least part of the way). She brushes her own teeth (although I supervise) and in general - she is her own little person, independent and head strong. But she has never spent a night away from me... until tonight and tomorrow night when I will be off on a girl's weekend away and she will be with her grandparents.

I have a friend from high school (well, I have more than one, but this one is special!!). We have been through a lot together and yet, for the past sixteen years, she has lived in one part of the state and I in another. Thankfully, the internet came along during that time and she and I, who used to write scores of notes to each other in high school, now communicate through the wonderful world wide web. How I love getting an email from her, it is always rich and full - just like a letter - not a one or two line impersonal email - truly it is a letter from a friend.

We were able to wrangle a short visit over Christmas, when she and her family trudged down the highway that runs right by the exit I live off of and it was so great to see them all. But you know what? It wasn't nearly enough. We are women, we need lots of time to talk and catch up and moan and groan and laugh and be silly. Still high school girls at heart - we decided we needed a good old fashioned slumber party. But although we are high school at heart, in real life, we are moms and wives and have loads of responsibilities. How was it ever going to happen? I tell you how. We are women with a determined mind. We MADE it happen!! Never underestimate women - we can be pretty powerful when it comes right down to it. :-)

This weekend, in scenic Helen, GA, in a little cabin in the woods, we are having a slumber party - that will last almost three days! The excitement is about to kill me. No husbands, no children, no pets, no laundry, no cooking (well, we might use a microwave or toaster...maybe!) no deadlines, no alarm clocks, no real responsibilities except to call home maybe a couple of times to check on the world we are leaving behind... it sounds so heavenly -- the guilt is almost too much to bear!!

So, today the next phase of my life gets off the ground in a grand way. It will be accompanied by non-stop eighties music, tasty treats like Oreos and M&M's, and loads of fun and laughter. I am off on my new adventure.

I have a feeling though that this mommy is going to be missing her little girl - probably much more than the little girl will be missing her mommy. After all, she is off on a new adventure of her own, three days of uninterrupted grandparent time... I am quite sure it will be accompanied by late bedtimes, tons of tasty treats and so much fun and laughter she won't even miss me. Here's hoping!

Living Happily Ever After,
Beverly