I spent the later part of this evening with tears in my eyes. It has not been an easy day - some days motherhood is such an overwhelming and exhausting experience. I will not sugarcoat it, there are days that I just want to run from it - today would have been one of those days.
But tonight!
Today I was so tired, but tonight I was reminded that my struggles are nothing when compared to others who are fighting much bigger battles than I.
This morning, I was not in the Christmas spirit, but tonight, I was reminded that although I grumble and balked at decorating this year, my friend has reveled in all the tasks with the knowledge that this might be the last Christmas she will be able to decorate, or even celebrate.
All day I have been frustrated with my child's behaviour, but tonight, I was reminded that although this is a tough phase in life, I will mostly likely be privileged to see her grow to adulthood and there is one dear to me, who doesn't know if she will get to raise her children at all.
Today I have mumbled and groaned about household chores, cooking, laundry, cleaning up and picking up after a husband and a four year old, but tonight, I was reminded that while these are not always pleasant tasks, I do have the physical ability to do each one, and should never take for granted the simple things in life, my friend is slowly losing her ability to do even the simplest task such as holding a book or puttting on a neckalce.
Today I have been sad, angry and feeling utterly helpless, but tonight, I was reminded that like Mary when she was told of Jesus' coming birth and like my friend, who is struggling to understand why God has chosen a path for her that doesn't really make sense, God is with us, each of us, on the race we have been given to run. He alone with help us run the race with perseverance, He is with us, no matter what the circumstances, and He alone will be there to welcome us across the finish line when the race is done.
I have felt all too human today, but tonight, I am going to rest in the knowledge that God is indeed in control and He will carry us all through every circumstance of life. It has been a really bad day, but tonight, it is better.
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
1 comment:
Sooooo with you on this. We've been having a really hard couple of weeks, growing pains and adjustments still to work through. Add to it some sleep deprivation, stress of the holidays, and worry over some financial things that have cropped up and it's NOT been my best Mommy moments.
Then I read this. And another blog of a mom who was diagnosed with terminal cancer this fall. She passed away not even a month after they picked up their son from Vietnam.
And I think to myself: what the heck am I belly achin' about? I am healthy. My kids are healthy (except for the fever Baby BlueEyes is fighting). And I have a home full of love. It's the equivalent of a bloggy slap upside my head. :)
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