Ya'll have read my words over the past few weeks as I have described the fact that I am "letting go." I have been using this term here on the blog for many things, letting go of the past, letting go of preconceptions, letting go of things that just don't matter in the long run. I heard this Tim McGraw song on the radio the other day and it just summed it up for me - so much better than any words I could think up. I wish I had written this, I don't even know who did - but the words could have come from straight from my soul. I thought the part about the rain just mirrored imaged my life a few weeks ago...amazingly!
LET IT GO!
I’ve been caught sideways out here on the crossroads
Trying to buy back the pieces I lost of my soul
It’s hard when the devil won’t get off your back
It’s like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away
Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go
Skeletons and Ghosts are hiding in the shadows
Threatening me with all the things that they know
Choices and mistakes, they all know my name
But I’m through holding in and holding onto all that pain
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
Got No more tears to cry
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away
Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Happy Sunday!
Happy Sunday morning!
I hope everyone has enjoyed a great holiday weekend with lots of good friends and family warming your hearts.
We spent yesterday celebrating Thanksgiving with our family at my in-laws. There was tons of food and we were blessed with good company. After lunch we all sat around and watched our beloved Georgia Bulldogs get beat by their rival Georgia Tech. Even those of us who aren't really football fans were watching (ME!), it was raining outside, so there really was no escape!
After my parents left, I found a spare bed in my in-laws house and grabbed a quick nap -- it was truly a wondrous way to cap off the afternoon. I awoke to darkness and the sounds of my child and husband in the next room watching some race car show...she is a big fan of whatever her daddy likes!!
We packed up the car and headed for our house...and it was still raining!!
My child wanted to watch Charlotte's Web, so we snuggled into the couch and watched as Charlotte spun her "radiant" webs and then it was bedtime for my girl! She was tired, it was easy!
I must admit I was right behind her on the dreamland train...all that turkey, I guess, and it was a good thing I got an early start to the night, because it ended for me quite early. Around midnight my daughter started coughing. And coughing, and coughing...she was feverish and tossing and turning. In fact, I crawled into bed with her and was quickly kicked in the back and arm and the leg - she was having a rough time! I gave her some medicine and she woke up several more times during the night. I believe I got about three hours all total...but she slept until 10:30 this morning.
No church for us this morning... maybe we will make the evening service...that is if it quits raining....it is still raining, ya'll!!
We begin decorating for Christmas in a little while...and I will post turkey day pics soon!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
I hope everyone has enjoyed a great holiday weekend with lots of good friends and family warming your hearts.
We spent yesterday celebrating Thanksgiving with our family at my in-laws. There was tons of food and we were blessed with good company. After lunch we all sat around and watched our beloved Georgia Bulldogs get beat by their rival Georgia Tech. Even those of us who aren't really football fans were watching (ME!), it was raining outside, so there really was no escape!
After my parents left, I found a spare bed in my in-laws house and grabbed a quick nap -- it was truly a wondrous way to cap off the afternoon. I awoke to darkness and the sounds of my child and husband in the next room watching some race car show...she is a big fan of whatever her daddy likes!!
We packed up the car and headed for our house...and it was still raining!!
My child wanted to watch Charlotte's Web, so we snuggled into the couch and watched as Charlotte spun her "radiant" webs and then it was bedtime for my girl! She was tired, it was easy!
I must admit I was right behind her on the dreamland train...all that turkey, I guess, and it was a good thing I got an early start to the night, because it ended for me quite early. Around midnight my daughter started coughing. And coughing, and coughing...she was feverish and tossing and turning. In fact, I crawled into bed with her and was quickly kicked in the back and arm and the leg - she was having a rough time! I gave her some medicine and she woke up several more times during the night. I believe I got about three hours all total...but she slept until 10:30 this morning.
No church for us this morning... maybe we will make the evening service...that is if it quits raining....it is still raining, ya'll!!
We begin decorating for Christmas in a little while...and I will post turkey day pics soon!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Two Travelers Met On A Road
For M:
I am a traveler. I have taken a fork in a road and the road ahead of me is long, filled with bumps and holes and as I look to the horizon, it seems to go on forever. There are bandits in the shadows, waiting for me to slip and fall. There are night creatures that hoot and hiss and make me fearful of my very soul. It is dark and dreary most of the time. When the sun shines it only shines briefly and then the clouds come again. I am not sure of the way and have no knowledge of the landscape or what to expect around the next turn in the road.
For many months I have felt like a lone, weary traveler. There is no one to talk with, no one to share my adventures with, no one to laugh and cry with, only me walking from place to place, staying in old inns along my way, groping in the darkness, searching for my reason on this journey.
Every now and then I glimpse a shopkeeper or a friendly face in a window, smiling and waving hello. Some days one of them will beckon me over, offer me a drink and sit and listen as I try and tell my tale. They think they know what kind of journey I am on, but they have no idea. They are well meaning, congenial and doing what any kind stranger would do to make me comfortable along my way.
Occasionally, I have received a letter from home, reminding me of all that I have waiting on me, all who love me and even though it seems far away right now, I know I have family and friends waiting on my safe return.
A few days ago, as I stumbled into one of those old inns, weary for a rest, I saw her. I immediately recognized that she is a traveler on this same road. She is my friend from many years back. We were young together, played together, and laughed together. I remember her. She was and is beautiful and sweet, the beauty queen that doesn’t know or flaunt her talents and beauty. I was younger and looked up to her then, watched her from afar as she navigated her life, and now once again we meet in this most unlikely of places.
We walk together now, she and I. Our paths are different but run along beside each other. We are able to watch out for one another, to help navigate the bumps and holes and fight off the bandits that seek to thwart our way. When we are scared or sad or frightened of the next turn in the road, there is someone there to talk to, reason with and one who truly understands.
After particularly hard days, we sit and talk and try to figure out the next steps to take. Neither of us are seasoned travelers, we cannot imagine we would even be walking down this road at all.
Today my friend will set out and have an adventure that I experienced many miles back. I am happy for her and sad for her. The obstacles she will encounter I have navigated before, I know the fun and joy she will experience and I also know the risk, the pain, the potential for harm that await her every step. I am confident of her ability to handle it all, but I hurt for her just the same.
I cling to the hope that one day she and I will walk down this road, and find we have reached the end. We will take a turn and see that we are home again, that we have managed to survive the bumps and holes and bandits that threatened to jump out of the bushes and steal us away.
I am thinking of my fellow traveler this morning…I am awaiting her return tonight. I am praying she is protected. Most of all, I hope she knows, that for me, this journey has been made so much easier with her as a traveling companion.
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
I am a traveler. I have taken a fork in a road and the road ahead of me is long, filled with bumps and holes and as I look to the horizon, it seems to go on forever. There are bandits in the shadows, waiting for me to slip and fall. There are night creatures that hoot and hiss and make me fearful of my very soul. It is dark and dreary most of the time. When the sun shines it only shines briefly and then the clouds come again. I am not sure of the way and have no knowledge of the landscape or what to expect around the next turn in the road.
For many months I have felt like a lone, weary traveler. There is no one to talk with, no one to share my adventures with, no one to laugh and cry with, only me walking from place to place, staying in old inns along my way, groping in the darkness, searching for my reason on this journey.
Every now and then I glimpse a shopkeeper or a friendly face in a window, smiling and waving hello. Some days one of them will beckon me over, offer me a drink and sit and listen as I try and tell my tale. They think they know what kind of journey I am on, but they have no idea. They are well meaning, congenial and doing what any kind stranger would do to make me comfortable along my way.
Occasionally, I have received a letter from home, reminding me of all that I have waiting on me, all who love me and even though it seems far away right now, I know I have family and friends waiting on my safe return.
A few days ago, as I stumbled into one of those old inns, weary for a rest, I saw her. I immediately recognized that she is a traveler on this same road. She is my friend from many years back. We were young together, played together, and laughed together. I remember her. She was and is beautiful and sweet, the beauty queen that doesn’t know or flaunt her talents and beauty. I was younger and looked up to her then, watched her from afar as she navigated her life, and now once again we meet in this most unlikely of places.
We walk together now, she and I. Our paths are different but run along beside each other. We are able to watch out for one another, to help navigate the bumps and holes and fight off the bandits that seek to thwart our way. When we are scared or sad or frightened of the next turn in the road, there is someone there to talk to, reason with and one who truly understands.
After particularly hard days, we sit and talk and try to figure out the next steps to take. Neither of us are seasoned travelers, we cannot imagine we would even be walking down this road at all.
Today my friend will set out and have an adventure that I experienced many miles back. I am happy for her and sad for her. The obstacles she will encounter I have navigated before, I know the fun and joy she will experience and I also know the risk, the pain, the potential for harm that await her every step. I am confident of her ability to handle it all, but I hurt for her just the same.
I cling to the hope that one day she and I will walk down this road, and find we have reached the end. We will take a turn and see that we are home again, that we have managed to survive the bumps and holes and bandits that threatened to jump out of the bushes and steal us away.
I am thinking of my fellow traveler this morning…I am awaiting her return tonight. I am praying she is protected. Most of all, I hope she knows, that for me, this journey has been made so much easier with her as a traveling companion.
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
Friday, November 28, 2008
It Was Just a Thursday!
I am going to attempt to recap my turkey day for you...
- Awakened at 4 AM by alarm clock, no rest for the wicked!
- Made breakfast for husband and packed his lunch
- Prayed child would go back to sleep after husband slammed the door on his way out of the house at 5:00 AM
- Awakened at 7 AM to the sound of things being pulled out of my pantry by said child, who obviously did not go back to sleep.
- Made coffee, made banana nut muffins that child requested, then turned down.
- Tried to watch a rerun of The Sopranos (sorry, but mafia brightens my day!!) on television, found it replaced this turkey day by some silly crime detective show.
- Attempted to watch the Macy's day parade, hoping to begin a mother daughter tradition, only to be trumped by daughter and forced to sit through Alvin and The Chipmunks for the seventh or seventeenth hundred (I have quite frankly lost count!) in the past two days.
- Hearing the chipmunks singing caused a new wave of nausea to set in and I retreated to my bathroom for a hair and makeup session. If I feel bad, I might as well at least look good. Death could come at any moment, don't want to be unprepared!
- Feeling sorta down and disappointed about the outcome of my thanksgiving day, decided to make dressing to enjoy with some cranberry sauce I had stashed in the fridge.
- No celery or chicken broth in the house, oh well, I improvised!
- Parents called saying they were coming over to save the day with lunch from The Colonel - two piece white, original recipe, mashed potatoes and coleslaw. Yipee, the day was saved. I hurried to dress myself and the Chipmunk Queen.
- Fifteen minutes before my parents were to arrive, they called. Yep, you guessed it, The Colonel was closed. So my parents arrived with only a coconut pie.
- We decided on ham sandwiches and chips, oh and the dressing I had made.
- But wait...no bread, so I had to defrost a loaf in the microwave. The excitement of the day just continued.
- In the midst of all the "preparation" for lunch, my otherwise "delightful" four year old decided to have a melt-down, perhaps it was after she got the answer to her question of "Where's the chicken, actually?" I don't remember, but she melted down and I had to step in and be Mean Mommy for a minute. For all my troubles, I was awarded the "YOU RUINED MY DAY!" award as she slumped in the hallway and cried. (Can I tell you this was the highlight of my day -- I think I finally may be doing something right --- raising a kid, it is such a kick!!)
- After lunch we enjoyed a piece of my mom's coconut pie, some coffee and a few more outbursts from the four year old who had a "ruined day".
- I decided she needed a nap. Packed her up and sent her to bed. My parents went home to nap as well.
- I laid on the couch, covered up with my favorite blanket and snuggled down for a nap.
Exhausted, sad, tired, and desperately wishing I could be somewhere else, I finally let the tears roll on out of my eyes. It felt good to let them out. It was a good cry, a "let it all go" cry of which I am fast becoming quite the expert in these last few weeks.
My Turkey day was not. It was a dressing and cranberry sauce day with a tiny bit of coconut pie thrown in for good measure. I stood all day long in my kitchen, just like every year, only this year, I was doing very little cooking, just some defrosting, dish washing and checking the computer for an email that didn't arrive. My table was not set with elaborate china, only Chinet. My place mats were neither fresh nor pressed, the napkins were paper, thin and plain. There was no bird, no potatoes, no corn, no beans, no apple cake or even lane cake for that matter. We had no rolls, no butter, no bing cherry salad, and the sweet potato souffle and the mac and cheese were absent as well. But what we had, as we bowed our heads, we were truly thankful for and I guess in some weird way it was enjoyed.
As I laid on the couch, thinking it all through, I willed myself to try and remember that just because we weren't celebrating with the rest of the world this day, doesn't mean that we won't have a nice celebration on Saturday with family and all the good food and desserts we were all craving today. I tried to remember that my joy comes from somewhere else, not this world with all it's disappointments and change of plans. That just because my holiday doesn't look like a Norman Rockwell painting doesn't make it any less of a treasured time.
Thinking about my day and the way it had all turned out made me want to wallow in my sadness, to moan and groan the bad luck. But honestly, now, in the dark of my kitchen as the house is clean and quiet, I am thinking it wasn't such a bad day. I got to spend it with my child, spend time my parents and even get in a small nap... what more can a girl wish for and even more, look how much I have to be thankful for, a wonderful family and a sweet home. I am truly blessed, blessings I all too often take for granted.
I am trying really hard not to miss the lesson in this one, trying really hard!
I hope your Thanksgiving was grand. Tell me about it. I would love to enjoy the memory with you.
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I am Pumpkin Pie -- Who Knew????
You Are Pumpkin Pie |
 Even when people are full - they make room for you. Good or bad, your smell is most likely to arouse a man. |
It is the last line that gets me...WHAT???? Anyway, it was a fun quiz to take, so take it yourself and let me know what part of today's feast you are most like!!
(I would have thought I was the cranberry sauce or the dressing!!)
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Happy Thanksgiving!
I wanted to take a few moments this Thanksgiving day and recall all the things in my life for which I am truly thankful. What better way to remember the true reason for gathering with family and enjoying a great meal.
I am thankful for:
my little girl, the joy of my life.
my husband, the provider and sustainer of the family
my parents, my backbone
my mother and father in law, the best I could hope for.
my friends, I have the best ones, truly I do.
my extended family members, stretched from Florida to Mississippi
my daughter's birthfamily, for the greatest gift we have ever received.
my dogs, there are no two sweeter dogs in the world.
my home, comfortable and cozy and more than I could have ever wished.
On the sillier note,
I am thankful for:
Starbucks Cinnamon Apple Cider
my laptop
my camera
Mr. Clean eraser - it has saved my walls more than once!
Sephora - my new favorite store
my smell good Yankee candles, they make the house feel so warm and cozy
daytime tv - cause the soaps make my life seem calm!
my eighties music cd's...take me back, over and over again
friends who do crazy things
ON DEMAND from our cable company
finding a good book I thought I had lost, and re-reading it.
Candy corn
having a tv in my bathroom
decorating for the holidays with my family
shopping while my daughter is at school
the laughter of my friends, bringing sunshine to rainy days.
the slice of Lane cake I just KNOW I am going to enjoy really soon...
and I could go on and on...
I am thankful and blessed by so much this year. I hope you and your family have a very Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy the warmth of the holiday, with those you love.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
I am thankful for:
my little girl, the joy of my life.
my husband, the provider and sustainer of the family
my parents, my backbone
my mother and father in law, the best I could hope for.
my friends, I have the best ones, truly I do.
my extended family members, stretched from Florida to Mississippi
my daughter's birthfamily, for the greatest gift we have ever received.
my dogs, there are no two sweeter dogs in the world.
my home, comfortable and cozy and more than I could have ever wished.
On the sillier note,
I am thankful for:
Starbucks Cinnamon Apple Cider
my laptop
my camera
Mr. Clean eraser - it has saved my walls more than once!
Sephora - my new favorite store
my smell good Yankee candles, they make the house feel so warm and cozy
daytime tv - cause the soaps make my life seem calm!
my eighties music cd's...take me back, over and over again
friends who do crazy things
ON DEMAND from our cable company
finding a good book I thought I had lost, and re-reading it.
Candy corn
having a tv in my bathroom
decorating for the holidays with my family
shopping while my daughter is at school
the laughter of my friends, bringing sunshine to rainy days.
the slice of Lane cake I just KNOW I am going to enjoy really soon...
and I could go on and on...
I am thankful and blessed by so much this year. I hope you and your family have a very Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy the warmth of the holiday, with those you love.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
So Much for Planning!
Sometimes plans don't always turn out like you think. How do I know this? Well, because at this moment I should be traveling down the highway, headed toward family to celebrate Thanksgiving. Instead, I am sitting in bed, next to my sleeping child.
On Saturday Hannah came down with a stomach bug, by Monday, even though she felt better I kept her home from school. I had to work, so my parents watched her for me. By Monday evening, my parents and I were all sick. By Tuesday we were worse and although Hannah had seemed better, last night she regressed. The trip has been cancelled. We are all too ill for the journey.
Our plans have changed. I have NO idea what we will do to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday now. My husband is working and my inlaws are sick as well. I have a picture in my head of us at Pizza Hut for Thanksgiving this year!
I hope all of your plans turn out like you envision this holiday. Safe travels if you are on the road and lots of good times around a table laden with food. Think of me as you are eating that turkey and dressing...
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
On Saturday Hannah came down with a stomach bug, by Monday, even though she felt better I kept her home from school. I had to work, so my parents watched her for me. By Monday evening, my parents and I were all sick. By Tuesday we were worse and although Hannah had seemed better, last night she regressed. The trip has been cancelled. We are all too ill for the journey.
Our plans have changed. I have NO idea what we will do to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday now. My husband is working and my inlaws are sick as well. I have a picture in my head of us at Pizza Hut for Thanksgiving this year!
I hope all of your plans turn out like you envision this holiday. Safe travels if you are on the road and lots of good times around a table laden with food. Think of me as you are eating that turkey and dressing...
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
Monday, November 24, 2008
Ode To One of My Favorite Things!
It is a wonderful thing.
What used to be IMPOSSIBLE, is now in the grasp of even the simplest minded person. The ease of use, the great result and the fact that there are no limitations to what can become the finished product makes it, for me anyway, one of the best inventions of all time.
It has transformed an industry, created jobs, created hobbies, lifted spirits, and created memories.
It is... a digital camera.
OH MY - what it can do. On my fortieth birthday I was given my digital camera and I have loved it everyday since.
With ease I can take pictures of my life, my family, my friends, not to mention countless pictures of my little girl and the many faces she shows me each day. No longer do I have to wait until a roll of 35 mm film is used before checking out the pictures I have taken. I can simply scroll through them at will, or hook it up to my computer and see a slideshow. I can use photoshop programs to enhance, crop, or even change from color to black and white. I can hook it up to my at home printer and print my own pictures, make 8x10's or wallet sizes, all without leaving my home.
Friends with digital cameras can send me photographs through email, digital photos can be uploaded to facebook accounts and online forums and shared with all friends far and near and I can even add a picture to this blog post, all because of a digital camera. They are fascinating things! I can't begin to recall the countless hours I have spent gazing at friends' photographs sent to allow me access to their lives and the events that shape their world.
I love my camera. I have had such fun with it over the past few years. Earlier this year it was the victim of some strange accident and the LCD viewer quit working. This means that I can no longer view what I am photographing off the big screen on the back, I now I have to look through the view finder, much like a person using a 35 mm camera would do. But I can still take pictures, I can still can view them on the camera itself, and as long as it keeps working, I am hanging on to it.
My digital camera, much like my laptop and cell phone has become one of the things I can't quite imagine functioning without on a daily basis.
I am thinking this week of all the people and things I am thankful for, and definitely, definitely this week I am thankful for my digital camera as well as the cameras of all my friends. What a great way to stay in touch.
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
What used to be IMPOSSIBLE, is now in the grasp of even the simplest minded person. The ease of use, the great result and the fact that there are no limitations to what can become the finished product makes it, for me anyway, one of the best inventions of all time.
It has transformed an industry, created jobs, created hobbies, lifted spirits, and created memories.
It is... a digital camera.
OH MY - what it can do. On my fortieth birthday I was given my digital camera and I have loved it everyday since.
With ease I can take pictures of my life, my family, my friends, not to mention countless pictures of my little girl and the many faces she shows me each day. No longer do I have to wait until a roll of 35 mm film is used before checking out the pictures I have taken. I can simply scroll through them at will, or hook it up to my computer and see a slideshow. I can use photoshop programs to enhance, crop, or even change from color to black and white. I can hook it up to my at home printer and print my own pictures, make 8x10's or wallet sizes, all without leaving my home.
Friends with digital cameras can send me photographs through email, digital photos can be uploaded to facebook accounts and online forums and shared with all friends far and near and I can even add a picture to this blog post, all because of a digital camera. They are fascinating things! I can't begin to recall the countless hours I have spent gazing at friends' photographs sent to allow me access to their lives and the events that shape their world.
I love my camera. I have had such fun with it over the past few years. Earlier this year it was the victim of some strange accident and the LCD viewer quit working. This means that I can no longer view what I am photographing off the big screen on the back, I now I have to look through the view finder, much like a person using a 35 mm camera would do. But I can still take pictures, I can still can view them on the camera itself, and as long as it keeps working, I am hanging on to it.
My digital camera, much like my laptop and cell phone has become one of the things I can't quite imagine functioning without on a daily basis.
I am thinking this week of all the people and things I am thankful for, and definitely, definitely this week I am thankful for my digital camera as well as the cameras of all my friends. What a great way to stay in touch.
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thanksgivings Present and Past!
"I've got so much, so much, so much to be THANKFUL for!" Do you know that song?
The sentiment is certainly true for me this morning. Thanksgiving is on the horizon. It is probably one of my favorite holidays. I would like to think it is because we celebrate our blessings, see family and friends, revel in the non-commercialization of the holiday, but if I am really honest, I think I love it cause I love dressing. I hardly eat it any other time of the year, but I LOVE IT! I love it cold, hot, just made, or days old. It is not the healthiest item on the table - but it is definitely (for me anyway) one of the reason I celebrate the day!
In all seriousness though, I do love the holiday. I am a tradition type of gal, love the rituals we follow every year, like to see the decorations that bring back memories of Turkey Days past, love the idea of all I love gathered in one place.
I grew up as an only child and an army brat. My family consisted of me, mom and daddy. And most years we were far from the big bustling side of our family. I can remember wonderful Thanksgivings as a child - I was never deprived. We even got to spend one Thanksgiving Day freezing to death along the route of the Macy's Day Parade in New York City and then got to eat Chinese food after that....(kinda like the family in A Christmas Story!! Fra, Ra, Ra, Ra!!)
We moved back home when I was in the seventh grade. It was then that my grandmother introduced me to soap operas. I remember watching how the soap opera families (they were always big!) celebrated the holidays...always a big production, picture perfect table, decorations, outfits -- somewhere in my mind I determined that was how to celebrate. I can remember being vividly disappointed when my dad's family (all 100 of them) wanted to celebrate in a borrowed church fellowship hall. CHURCH FELLOWSHIP HALL - why I had spent too many Wednesday night suppers and Sunday night youth fellowships in those to want to celebrate hearth and home in a cold, sterile fellowship hall. I believe I put my proverbial foot down and my parents consented to driving me "home to Mississippi" where my Aunt Nell would put out a proper feast for all the family. We started doing this and continued this tradition for many years. It felt right to me, Thanksgiving celebrated around a table, with family and LEFTOVERS!!
I have been privileged since those years to encounter many other ways of celebrating the day. I was once a part of a Thanksgiving celebration that started early that morning at a soup kitchen, serving others and then the day continued with a big spread and many guests, some family, and others with no family to celebrate with invited as well. I remember that house being crowded with extra tables being set out - but it was cozy with the love and real thankfulness.
I have hosted Thanksgiving at my home for the nearly the last seventeen years. It has always been lots of work, but always lots of fun for me. Our family has grown in the last four years and now my daughter sits among us to give us all an even bigger reason to be thankful.
This year, we are traveling to visit family once again for the holiday. That means no preparation for me in this house. I am sure I will be in the kitchen when we arrive on the other end...but my house is staying clean and calm. I am learning that Thanksgiving is more a day to be calm and reflect, and not worry and fret over details. I am sure the napkins won't have festive fall cornucopias on them, the butter will not be molded into the shape of turkey and maybe even some of my favorite dishes won't be served, but it will be a Thanksgiving to remember, spent with family from far away. Oh - and yes, there will be dressing. The best kind - my aunt is the Queen of dressing.
I am learning to let it all go, in all areas of my life, to just sit and enjoy being with the ones I love, and that is something to be thankful for.
The sentiment is certainly true for me this morning. Thanksgiving is on the horizon. It is probably one of my favorite holidays. I would like to think it is because we celebrate our blessings, see family and friends, revel in the non-commercialization of the holiday, but if I am really honest, I think I love it cause I love dressing. I hardly eat it any other time of the year, but I LOVE IT! I love it cold, hot, just made, or days old. It is not the healthiest item on the table - but it is definitely (for me anyway) one of the reason I celebrate the day!
In all seriousness though, I do love the holiday. I am a tradition type of gal, love the rituals we follow every year, like to see the decorations that bring back memories of Turkey Days past, love the idea of all I love gathered in one place.
I grew up as an only child and an army brat. My family consisted of me, mom and daddy. And most years we were far from the big bustling side of our family. I can remember wonderful Thanksgivings as a child - I was never deprived. We even got to spend one Thanksgiving Day freezing to death along the route of the Macy's Day Parade in New York City and then got to eat Chinese food after that....(kinda like the family in A Christmas Story!! Fra, Ra, Ra, Ra!!)
We moved back home when I was in the seventh grade. It was then that my grandmother introduced me to soap operas. I remember watching how the soap opera families (they were always big!) celebrated the holidays...always a big production, picture perfect table, decorations, outfits -- somewhere in my mind I determined that was how to celebrate. I can remember being vividly disappointed when my dad's family (all 100 of them) wanted to celebrate in a borrowed church fellowship hall. CHURCH FELLOWSHIP HALL - why I had spent too many Wednesday night suppers and Sunday night youth fellowships in those to want to celebrate hearth and home in a cold, sterile fellowship hall. I believe I put my proverbial foot down and my parents consented to driving me "home to Mississippi" where my Aunt Nell would put out a proper feast for all the family. We started doing this and continued this tradition for many years. It felt right to me, Thanksgiving celebrated around a table, with family and LEFTOVERS!!
I have been privileged since those years to encounter many other ways of celebrating the day. I was once a part of a Thanksgiving celebration that started early that morning at a soup kitchen, serving others and then the day continued with a big spread and many guests, some family, and others with no family to celebrate with invited as well. I remember that house being crowded with extra tables being set out - but it was cozy with the love and real thankfulness.
I have hosted Thanksgiving at my home for the nearly the last seventeen years. It has always been lots of work, but always lots of fun for me. Our family has grown in the last four years and now my daughter sits among us to give us all an even bigger reason to be thankful.
This year, we are traveling to visit family once again for the holiday. That means no preparation for me in this house. I am sure I will be in the kitchen when we arrive on the other end...but my house is staying clean and calm. I am learning that Thanksgiving is more a day to be calm and reflect, and not worry and fret over details. I am sure the napkins won't have festive fall cornucopias on them, the butter will not be molded into the shape of turkey and maybe even some of my favorite dishes won't be served, but it will be a Thanksgiving to remember, spent with family from far away. Oh - and yes, there will be dressing. The best kind - my aunt is the Queen of dressing.
I am learning to let it all go, in all areas of my life, to just sit and enjoy being with the ones I love, and that is something to be thankful for.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
A Week Worth Remembering
Ah...Saturday morning! This one is chilly and begs for a cup of coffee to get it going - at least in my house anyway. The sky outside is sparkling blue, not a cloud to be seen and it promises a great day. I have NO plans for today, well, except maybe to plan something for my husband and daughter so that I can have the house all to myself!! I am trying to resist the urge to go up into the attic and bring down the beginnings of my Christmas decorations.
I usually decorate the weekend of Thanksgiving...I like a whole month to enjoy the pretty green and red. But this year we are going to visit family for Thanksgiving, not coming home until Saturday and then Sunday we will be celebrating with our in - town family, so decorating is not on the agenda. But if I get started this weekend, well, we will only have the tree to do the following week after we return home. It is a promising scenario, just don't know if I can get the rest of the family to join in...hence, the outing for them, so I can just do it!!
My house may or may not become Christmasy today. We shall see.
Sitting here at my writing table, I am starting to reflect over the past week and it has just been a great week. After the dismal pit I fell into last week, I guess anything would be an improvement, but really - this week has surpassed many in my recent memories. Even though nothing grand or particularly exciting happened, it was just a nice, calm, happy week.
My child behaved, most of the time, the house has stayed rather clean and clutter free, work for me this week was easy peasy, and my free day this week was spent with my mom. It was just a week without drama - the best kind.
Hope yours was the same.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
I usually decorate the weekend of Thanksgiving...I like a whole month to enjoy the pretty green and red. But this year we are going to visit family for Thanksgiving, not coming home until Saturday and then Sunday we will be celebrating with our in - town family, so decorating is not on the agenda. But if I get started this weekend, well, we will only have the tree to do the following week after we return home. It is a promising scenario, just don't know if I can get the rest of the family to join in...hence, the outing for them, so I can just do it!!
My house may or may not become Christmasy today. We shall see.
Sitting here at my writing table, I am starting to reflect over the past week and it has just been a great week. After the dismal pit I fell into last week, I guess anything would be an improvement, but really - this week has surpassed many in my recent memories. Even though nothing grand or particularly exciting happened, it was just a nice, calm, happy week.
My child behaved, most of the time, the house has stayed rather clean and clutter free, work for me this week was easy peasy, and my free day this week was spent with my mom. It was just a week without drama - the best kind.
Hope yours was the same.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
Friday, November 21, 2008
Friday's Fave Five
This week, in comparison to last week has been incredible! I have just had a week of days that have all made me smile. I hope I don't have too hard of a time coming up with my five faves from this week - don't think I will.
1. WR FLOUR - this is a brand of flour that I can only get back home in Mississippi. It makes all my home favorites like biscuits and pancakes taste incredibly yummy and I can almost picture that I am back home in our little house on the bump road. I am using the last of my bag of WR Flour this morning to make pancakes...I need to order some more -- like TODAY!
2. Organix Coconut Milk Shampoo and Conditioner. This duo is a highlight of my beauty regimen every morning. They work to create a coconut atmosphere in my bathroom - it makes me feel tropical - such a great way to wake up and get ready for the day. And here is a bonus - my hair continues to smell like coconuts all day long!
3. My new printer/scanner/copier. I lost my printer and scanner earlier this year in an unfortunate lightening strike... or maybe they were both old - either way -- I have been without. My parents gave me an early Christmas present in my new combo unit. I LOVE IT. My favorite thing is scan in old pictures and send them out to my friends...so much fun to share crazy memories of the past this way.
4. Christmas Shopping. Okay - while this is not a thing, the thought that I have at least started my shopping this year makes me smile - this time last week, I had not even started.
5. Up On The Housetop, Click, Click, Click, Down through the chimney with Good Saint Nick. HEY! : Most of you will recognize this as a line from the Christmas song - Up on the Housetop. This is my child's favorite Christmas song - she learned it when she was two and has sung it every year since. This year, my friend, who is a drummer, introduced me to the compilation album that local bands put together this year for Christmas charities in our town. My daughter and I have been listening to it ever since. His band does the Up On The Housetop song -- my child is stuck on it. I have probably heard it at least one hundred times since last week. Maybe more, but that would be scary to count. So, while this is a fave memory from this week -my cute child, singing along and playing air drums in the backseat to a rockin' Chrismas song - it is also NOT a fave - I have just heard the song way too much. I need a break to appreciate it again!!
There are my five faves on a Friday! What are yours?
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
You can check out more Friday Fave Five's over at Suzanne's site.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday. It Was A Very Good Day!
I wish I had something to really blog about... seriously, I have nothing. I am a blank canvas tonight. Well, that is not actually true - I have lots going on in my head...but nothing bloggable or perhaps even interesting to you guys, so I will just recap the day and hope you can find something readable in the mix.
Today was a fun day. I dropped Hannah Joy off at school and then headed out to pick up my mother for some pre-holiday shopping at the mall. We don't often get to go somewhere by ourselves - usually I am using her as a babysitter so I can wander off alone to shop, or we have that cute little girl tagging along with us. It is a rare occurrence for the two of us to be alone and able to browse shops and have girl time. I am hoping we can find time to do more of it in the future, cause it was such fun.
We wandered into McAlister's Deli for lunch and were able to meet up with an old friend, I see them quite frequently, but my mom hasn't seen them in years, so it was a pleasant surprise and we all had a great time over lunch.
All too soon it was time to get the munchkin from school. She was so surprised and happy to see her MeMa at her school to pick her up. Afterwards we headed back to my mom's house for my daughter's favorite treat - multi-color sherbet!
The visit ended much to soon for my girl because she LOVES her MeMa and Papa, but we had to get home. I have spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning the house, and reheating leftovers for my hubby's supper. I was actually productive!
My child played outside with our dogs until it was just too dark and too cold to continue...so they went to bed and now, as I type, this she is bathed and in bed and sound asleep!
I, too, am settling in for the night, only a few more dishes in the sink to wash and my housekeeping chores for the week will be over. Soon, my favorite tv show will start and I can sit back and watch with a clear conscience. Yipee.
Musing back over the day, it has just been a great one - a rare day where EVERYTHING goes right. These are few and far between in the life of this mom. I take what I can get and I am thankful beyond measure for them.
And, how was your day?
Living Happily In The Moment,
Beverly
Today was a fun day. I dropped Hannah Joy off at school and then headed out to pick up my mother for some pre-holiday shopping at the mall. We don't often get to go somewhere by ourselves - usually I am using her as a babysitter so I can wander off alone to shop, or we have that cute little girl tagging along with us. It is a rare occurrence for the two of us to be alone and able to browse shops and have girl time. I am hoping we can find time to do more of it in the future, cause it was such fun.
We wandered into McAlister's Deli for lunch and were able to meet up with an old friend, I see them quite frequently, but my mom hasn't seen them in years, so it was a pleasant surprise and we all had a great time over lunch.
All too soon it was time to get the munchkin from school. She was so surprised and happy to see her MeMa at her school to pick her up. Afterwards we headed back to my mom's house for my daughter's favorite treat - multi-color sherbet!
The visit ended much to soon for my girl because she LOVES her MeMa and Papa, but we had to get home. I have spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning the house, and reheating leftovers for my hubby's supper. I was actually productive!
My child played outside with our dogs until it was just too dark and too cold to continue...so they went to bed and now, as I type, this she is bathed and in bed and sound asleep!
I, too, am settling in for the night, only a few more dishes in the sink to wash and my housekeeping chores for the week will be over. Soon, my favorite tv show will start and I can sit back and watch with a clear conscience. Yipee.
Musing back over the day, it has just been a great one - a rare day where EVERYTHING goes right. These are few and far between in the life of this mom. I take what I can get and I am thankful beyond measure for them.
And, how was your day?
Living Happily In The Moment,
Beverly
Tag - I'm It!
I'm playing Tag with my friend over at Gang's All Here!
If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged and either leave answers in the comment section or link your URL.
7 Random Things About Me.
1. I don't usually eat breakfast, but I love to eat breakfast foods at dinnertime. My favorite breakfast item is a blueberry pop-tart with melted cheddar cheese on top.
2. I like to light up my outdoor fireplace and sit on the deck, all alone with a hot cup of coffee or tea.
3. I am addicted to Facebook.
4. I shop at Kohl's. I love Kohl's, I wish I had more things from Kohl's. For Christmas, all I want is Kohl's!
5. My kitchen is painted the color of pumpkin pie -- I think this was a subconscious move on my part to celebrate Fall all year round!
6. I want to bring my older chocolate lab, Georgia, into the house to become a house dog. She is eight years old. My husband does not share this viewpoint... it is a source of tension in this otherwise happy home.
7. My laptop and printer are stored on my kitchen counter.
And just because I can't follow the rules and because I am apparently a weirdo with more than seven random things about me...
# 8. I am drowning in a sea of papers brought home by my four year old from preschool, Sunday School and Wednesday night Team Kids. I can't bear to throw any of the precious papers away and yet I have no idea what to do with them. I am literally running out of places to stack them. Anyone out there have any ideas????
Living Happily In the Moment,
Beverly
If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged and either leave answers in the comment section or link your URL.
7 Random Things About Me.
1. I don't usually eat breakfast, but I love to eat breakfast foods at dinnertime. My favorite breakfast item is a blueberry pop-tart with melted cheddar cheese on top.
2. I like to light up my outdoor fireplace and sit on the deck, all alone with a hot cup of coffee or tea.
3. I am addicted to Facebook.
4. I shop at Kohl's. I love Kohl's, I wish I had more things from Kohl's. For Christmas, all I want is Kohl's!
5. My kitchen is painted the color of pumpkin pie -- I think this was a subconscious move on my part to celebrate Fall all year round!
6. I want to bring my older chocolate lab, Georgia, into the house to become a house dog. She is eight years old. My husband does not share this viewpoint... it is a source of tension in this otherwise happy home.
7. My laptop and printer are stored on my kitchen counter.
And just because I can't follow the rules and because I am apparently a weirdo with more than seven random things about me...
# 8. I am drowning in a sea of papers brought home by my four year old from preschool, Sunday School and Wednesday night Team Kids. I can't bear to throw any of the precious papers away and yet I have no idea what to do with them. I am literally running out of places to stack them. Anyone out there have any ideas????
Living Happily In the Moment,
Beverly
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sonshine Choir...The Wait Was Well Worth It!
Sunday night my sweet girl made her choir debut at church. She is now a member of the Sonshine Choir, which is made up of four and five year olds. I am lucky enough to be one of the assistants and we have lots of fun on Wednesday nights.
They entertained all the parents and grandparents with five songs heralding the coming Christmas season. They were all precious, and my girl was of course front and center of the group in both position on the stage and performance!! She gave the cute little waves to us in the audience, smiled so sweetly and performed the hand motions to the songs in such a way that everyone around us giggled and rejoiced with us.
This afternoon we pulled out the video and hooked it up so we could watch the performance again during dinner. I had the best memory come to my mind. I remembered many years ago, when we attended another church, how every time the preschool choir sang for church, my husband and I would just sit and laugh at the cuteness factor. It was always irrestible to see those cute kids and all their antics! I can remember just being anxious with the anticipation of when our child would be a part of that group. Later in our life, after years of not being able to have a child, we stopped attending services where any kind of children would be highlighted, (baby dedications, choir performances, children musicals, sometimes sadly even Christmas services) because the pain of being childless amongst our peers would be too much.
Sunday night marked the first time in probably ten years that my hubs and I were able to sit and enjoy a children's performance for all it was worth. It was so much fun and tonight around the dinner table, it was even more fun watching the video. Halfway through it, Danny reached over and put his arm around my waist as we watched the video together, laughing at the sweet faces of all the children, including our own sweet. I think we both realized how far we have come on this road to parenthood, how much we would have missed had we not been privileged to have her in our life and how much we need to remind ourselves not to take a moment for granted.
Here are two pictures of the choir as they practiced before the performance. The pictures are a bit blurry - that is the price you pay for trying to photograph four year olds while they are singing -- they are a very animated group!!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Monday Musings
FOR TODAY
Outside my window...my pretty dogwood tree, shedding it's leaves all over the ground.
I am thinking...it is going to be a great week!
I am thankful for... my new apple candle
From the kitchen...homemade bread,warm and yummy!
I am wearing...jeans and blue shirt
I am creating...breakfast!
I am going... home for Turkey Day.
I am reading...Twilight....oh.... I love a good vampire story
I am hoping...for lunch with a friend this week
I am hearing...the tv
Around the house...it's beginning to look a lot like Thanksgiving!
One of my favorite things...My thanksgiving decorations, I have been collecting a long time
A few plans for the rest of the week:Create a pictorial tour of my Autumn home, work, play time with my girl, shopping with my mom, lunch with a friend and finalizing our holiday plans.
Here is picture thought I am sharing...
Outside my window...my pretty dogwood tree, shedding it's leaves all over the ground.
I am thinking...it is going to be a great week!
I am thankful for... my new apple candle
From the kitchen...homemade bread,warm and yummy!
I am wearing...jeans and blue shirt
I am creating...breakfast!
I am going... home for Turkey Day.
I am reading...Twilight....oh.... I love a good vampire story
I am hoping...for lunch with a friend this week
I am hearing...the tv
Around the house...it's beginning to look a lot like Thanksgiving!
One of my favorite things...My thanksgiving decorations, I have been collecting a long time
A few plans for the rest of the week:Create a pictorial tour of my Autumn home, work, play time with my girl, shopping with my mom, lunch with a friend and finalizing our holiday plans.
Here is picture thought I am sharing...
...the barn at our home in the country!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Two Birthday Parties on Saturday Afternoon
It was a Saturday filled with preschool aged fun.
We started the day off trying on a gazillion different outfits --- the girlie girl gene has kicked in. After yelling and screaming and pitching a fit (and that was just me!!) my Hannah conceded and changed from her ballerina tutu and bathing suit with black tights and purple shoes into the cute Old Navy outfit I had picked out for her to wear to the birthday parties.
She was up at the crack of dawn, so excited to go to her "boyfriend" Josh's birthday party. The party was a noon -- I don't really have to tell you it was a long morning do I?
We arrived and of course were the first ones there. Josh met us at the door and soon he and Hannah had scurried off to play -- they are definitely buddies!
Soon other parents and kids came and the party was underway. It was a fun filled time of Spiderman birthday party happenings. Hannah was (thankfully) well behaved, said "please" and "thank you" without prompting and thrilled all in attendance (adults and kids alike) with her wild stories and shining personality! That kid of mine... she is gonna do alright in this world. She never meets a stranger, loves to be center of attention and can hang with boys and girls alike. She is also VERY funny. It is a God-given trait - I am so thankful she has that comedic streak. It will serve her well, I really believe that!
After that party wrapped up, we headed to our Mall to meet a friend from church who is celebrating her fourth birthday. All she wanted was for Hannah to the mall with her and for them to do Build A Bear together. Both girls picked out a puppy and had a really good time watching them come to life and picking out clothes and a name for their new "pet."
When I sat at the computer to fill in the birth certificate, I asked Hannah what the puppy's name was and of course she said ..."Charlie!" She names everything Charlie -- it is hysterical. I convinced her to think up another name, I am a little tired of Charlies in my house -- and so we decided on Ruby Josh. I was voting for Ruby Charles (that sounds so southern) and would incorporate her "charlie" fetish, but she insisted on Josh - of course, her "boyfriend's" name. Help ME!!
So Ruby Josh is our new infatuation. And the plus side for Hannah is that when we get tired of Ruby Josh being a girl, we can just change her into a boy and switch her name around to Josh Ruby! She is practical as well as comical.
It was a great day, such fun for an old, worn out adult to play in a child's world on a pretty Saturday afternoon. After the week I have had, I really needed it. Just another reason to be thankful for my daughter - a fact I will try to remember the next time she wakes me up at 2:00 AM or insists on wearing a bathing suit under all her clothes.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
We started the day off trying on a gazillion different outfits --- the girlie girl gene has kicked in. After yelling and screaming and pitching a fit (and that was just me!!) my Hannah conceded and changed from her ballerina tutu and bathing suit with black tights and purple shoes into the cute Old Navy outfit I had picked out for her to wear to the birthday parties.
She was up at the crack of dawn, so excited to go to her "boyfriend" Josh's birthday party. The party was a noon -- I don't really have to tell you it was a long morning do I?
We arrived and of course were the first ones there. Josh met us at the door and soon he and Hannah had scurried off to play -- they are definitely buddies!
Soon other parents and kids came and the party was underway. It was a fun filled time of Spiderman birthday party happenings. Hannah was (thankfully) well behaved, said "please" and "thank you" without prompting and thrilled all in attendance (adults and kids alike) with her wild stories and shining personality! That kid of mine... she is gonna do alright in this world. She never meets a stranger, loves to be center of attention and can hang with boys and girls alike. She is also VERY funny. It is a God-given trait - I am so thankful she has that comedic streak. It will serve her well, I really believe that!
After that party wrapped up, we headed to our Mall to meet a friend from church who is celebrating her fourth birthday. All she wanted was for Hannah to the mall with her and for them to do Build A Bear together. Both girls picked out a puppy and had a really good time watching them come to life and picking out clothes and a name for their new "pet."
When I sat at the computer to fill in the birth certificate, I asked Hannah what the puppy's name was and of course she said ..."Charlie!" She names everything Charlie -- it is hysterical. I convinced her to think up another name, I am a little tired of Charlies in my house -- and so we decided on Ruby Josh. I was voting for Ruby Charles (that sounds so southern) and would incorporate her "charlie" fetish, but she insisted on Josh - of course, her "boyfriend's" name. Help ME!!
So Ruby Josh is our new infatuation. And the plus side for Hannah is that when we get tired of Ruby Josh being a girl, we can just change her into a boy and switch her name around to Josh Ruby! She is practical as well as comical.
It was a great day, such fun for an old, worn out adult to play in a child's world on a pretty Saturday afternoon. After the week I have had, I really needed it. Just another reason to be thankful for my daughter - a fact I will try to remember the next time she wakes me up at 2:00 AM or insists on wearing a bathing suit under all her clothes.
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Fairy Tales Should Be Outlawed!
I cannot tell a lie. (Remember George Washington and I are cousins, it is genetic!) This week has been rough.
So much has happened, work stuff, day to day life stuff, beginning Christmas shopping stuff and of course preparing for Turkey day stuff. In the middle of all that, I had a breakdown of sorts. I spent a few days crying over milk spilt long ago. Have you ever done that?
I found myself traveling down a road in my heart that I know better than to go down. It is a road filled with good memories but also heartache and sadness, regret, lost hope and general feelings of unworthiness and devastation. Not a pretty place. In fact, it is down right ugly there. I try to never let my heart get ahead of my brain and drag all of us down there, but this week, I lost control and sent myself and a few others into that abyss.
This week's trip was a bit different in the way it affected me as compared to trips taken in the past. I literally cried for two days. With little to no provocation, tears poured from my eyes. It was as if a dam had burst open and there was no little Dutch boy to help hold it back. I couldn't listen to the radio, look at the computer, the television, my family or my co-workers without suddenly bursting into tears. It was a strange phenomena indeed. I began to feel like it was a cleansing of some type and then yesterday I noticed the tears starting to dry up. To make matters even more bittersweet, almost the minute I quit crying, the skies in our town opened up and poured rainy tears over us all. It has now rained for two days, I don't need to cry anymore, the atmosphere is crying enough for both of us.
There is no reason to go into all the gory details of my trip down memory lane. It is what it is. I know who I am, and that is a happily married woman with a beautiful little girl. I have all I could have ever wanted and then some. For that reason, you might think it strange that I would find anything to cry about over a heartbreak from years past. I know! It caught me by surprise as well.
I have come to realize that I was not so much crying for the me of today as I was for the me of long ago. Shedding tears for the girl who thought her world had ended, who thought she was unlovable, who felt that because her fairy tale ended the wrong way, she would never be happy. I wish I could go back and tell that girl that indeed, although her world ended, a new one would open up for her. That she was not unlovable, because she would be loved again. And most of all, that there are no such things as fairy tales. The white knight on the white horse gets muddy, the glass slipper breaks, a kiss cannot wake up a sleeping princess after one hundred years and there is NO way even a princess could feel a tiny dried up pea under all those mattresses!
As strange as it might seem, I am thankful for my two lost days of introspection. I have come out of it refreshed. The tears did me good and the pain helped to open my eyes to my strengths and weaknesses. I see my world a little clearer today.
The guy that hurt me so long ago is now a grown man. Choices he made that altered both of our lives, I can no longer hold against him. Today, I proudly call him my friend. I never saw it coming but I am thankful for his truly unconditional friendship and his place in my life.
My "fairy tale" ended up having a different ending than the one I envisioned so long ago as a young girl. I know now there is no "happily ever after", however, I am grateful for the gift of my husband, for his role as the best father my daughter could have and for the life we have built together.
This week I took a trip. I traveled down a highway and crossed a bridge. I visited the past and ultimately it has freed me up to live more fully in my present. It has been a bumpy ride, but I think I am all the better for it.
Living Happily in THIS Moment!
Beverly
So much has happened, work stuff, day to day life stuff, beginning Christmas shopping stuff and of course preparing for Turkey day stuff. In the middle of all that, I had a breakdown of sorts. I spent a few days crying over milk spilt long ago. Have you ever done that?
I found myself traveling down a road in my heart that I know better than to go down. It is a road filled with good memories but also heartache and sadness, regret, lost hope and general feelings of unworthiness and devastation. Not a pretty place. In fact, it is down right ugly there. I try to never let my heart get ahead of my brain and drag all of us down there, but this week, I lost control and sent myself and a few others into that abyss.
This week's trip was a bit different in the way it affected me as compared to trips taken in the past. I literally cried for two days. With little to no provocation, tears poured from my eyes. It was as if a dam had burst open and there was no little Dutch boy to help hold it back. I couldn't listen to the radio, look at the computer, the television, my family or my co-workers without suddenly bursting into tears. It was a strange phenomena indeed. I began to feel like it was a cleansing of some type and then yesterday I noticed the tears starting to dry up. To make matters even more bittersweet, almost the minute I quit crying, the skies in our town opened up and poured rainy tears over us all. It has now rained for two days, I don't need to cry anymore, the atmosphere is crying enough for both of us.
There is no reason to go into all the gory details of my trip down memory lane. It is what it is. I know who I am, and that is a happily married woman with a beautiful little girl. I have all I could have ever wanted and then some. For that reason, you might think it strange that I would find anything to cry about over a heartbreak from years past. I know! It caught me by surprise as well.
I have come to realize that I was not so much crying for the me of today as I was for the me of long ago. Shedding tears for the girl who thought her world had ended, who thought she was unlovable, who felt that because her fairy tale ended the wrong way, she would never be happy. I wish I could go back and tell that girl that indeed, although her world ended, a new one would open up for her. That she was not unlovable, because she would be loved again. And most of all, that there are no such things as fairy tales. The white knight on the white horse gets muddy, the glass slipper breaks, a kiss cannot wake up a sleeping princess after one hundred years and there is NO way even a princess could feel a tiny dried up pea under all those mattresses!
As strange as it might seem, I am thankful for my two lost days of introspection. I have come out of it refreshed. The tears did me good and the pain helped to open my eyes to my strengths and weaknesses. I see my world a little clearer today.
The guy that hurt me so long ago is now a grown man. Choices he made that altered both of our lives, I can no longer hold against him. Today, I proudly call him my friend. I never saw it coming but I am thankful for his truly unconditional friendship and his place in my life.
My "fairy tale" ended up having a different ending than the one I envisioned so long ago as a young girl. I know now there is no "happily ever after", however, I am grateful for the gift of my husband, for his role as the best father my daughter could have and for the life we have built together.
This week I took a trip. I traveled down a highway and crossed a bridge. I visited the past and ultimately it has freed me up to live more fully in my present. It has been a bumpy ride, but I think I am all the better for it.
Living Happily in THIS Moment!
Beverly
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday Fave Five
Today is Friday and I supposed to have a post on here about my five favorite things in this week. This week has been really hard for me... I am going to try and find five favorite things...but if I don't get all five, please don't hold it against me!!
1. KOHL'S. Monday night my daughter and I headed to Kohl's after my husband went to work. We had the best time going up and down the aisles, looking at the clothes and all the household goods. My daughter actually behaved in a public place, pushed the shopping cart and was helpful as I looked for certain items. It was a glimmer into what our future may hold. I always did hate to shop alone, always wished I had a sister to shop with and now, just maybe at some point in my future, I will have a new shopping buddy. It gave me hope.
2. CHRISTMAS MUSIC. This week has heralded the return of Christmas music to my home and car. I was with a friend on Tuesday and listened to a new Christmas album featuring local bands in our town. It sparked the Christmas Music button to flip in my brain and although it is a few weeks from Thanksgiving, I have already started playing Christmas as I work in my kitchen, and soon I will pull all the cd's out and put a rotation on the cd player. The weather is not helping, it is cold and rainy -- perfect Christmas music weather.
3. HOT CHOCOLATE. I am usually not a huge fan. I like coffee in the cold weather, or hot tea. This week I made a cup of hot chocolate early one morning. It was the perfect cup, sweet, chocolate, smooth and I became a convert. I have enjoyed a cup early each morning and it has made getting up and getting started on my day much easier this week.
4. RAIN. Okay, truthfully I am not a big fan. I know we need the rain, it is good for the planet and all, and most of all it makes a big mess. But it rained yesterday and although I was out in the pouring stuff, doing errands that had to be done, and although I was soaking wet and weary by the time I picked my daughter up from school, I loved the rain. It make my step faster, it felt refreshing to me. I have had a rough week, the rain made me feel like someone else was crying besides me. Since the sky was crying, I didn't have to...so actually the rain helped me have a much better day on Thursday than I did on Wednesday!
5. THANKSGIVING DECORATIONS. Yipee, I made it to five. I honestly didn't know if I could. Late yesterday afternoon my child and husband left on an errand and I had the place to myself. I used the time to start decorating the house for Thanksgiving. I grew up with a mom who had the house decorated for every season. I try and keep up, it is a little hard with a four year old, but I still try to put out the seasonal stuff for our family. Yesterday I got out my glass turkey, filled it with candy corn and placed it on my sideboard. I pulled out the cute pilgrim boy and girl candle topper and the autumn leaves that fill a bowl on the sideboard. The dining room table got a plateful of colorful autumn gourds and I brought out the Carmel apple and pumpkin scented candles. I have more in the attic, I will climb up there this afternoon and bring them all down. I am excited. My favorite holiday is on the horizon!
And what are you five favorite things from this week? Leave me a comment, I would love to hear from you!
Living Happily in The Moment!
BeverlyThursday, November 13, 2008
A Tale of Two Fireplaces
Let me start this entry by saying this.... IT IS COLD IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!! AH! Where is the heat?
My dear husband likes to conserve energy and money. Good traits, except on days like this. His theory of just putting on more clothes is not working for me today. I have on a sweatshirt and pants, socks and I am wrapped in a blanket -- still I am sitting here shivering... and wait, wait, I think, yes, I know I can see my breath!! It is a frosty afternoon!
We have a fireplace, but we have never used it. I decided when we moved in that it was too pretty and white to mess up with black soot, so I have some beautiful candles in it, on a lovely candle holder, absolutely no warmth coming from it at all. It looks pretty though. I think if there was a wood pile anywhere on our land, I would be building a fire in it - right now. I have a fireplace on my deck, if it weren't so cold outside, I might be tempted to go out there and a build a fire... but that would require me to move, and quite honestly my seat is the only warm spot on me!!!
I find myself sitting here thinking of fire and warmth and how a fire can make all the coldness of a room just scurry away. It reminds me of yesterday. I got the privilege to visit one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, and see their new home. Well, it is really an OLD house, on a pretty street in a quaint little town near me. The house needs work, (don't we all!!) but it has a charm about it, even the doorbell is cool! Some of the nicest features are the fireplaces in the house. They are not in working condition (yet) but the hearths and mantles are really pretty - unlike the cookie cutter fireplaces that grace the new homes these days. We sat in the room with the prettiest one for a while and spent some time admiring it.
I have thought about that fireplace a lot today. Even more so since I am sitting in front of my own fireplace, freezing, this afternoon. That old fireplace is worn out, it needs some tender loving care and yet, it is beautiful. The cracks and imperfections make it all the more beautiful. The years have given it character. I looked at it and thought of all the people that must have warmed themselves in front of it as they entered the home. Once it was new and beautiful. The wood mantle gleamed, the mirror above it was shiny and new. The tiles were all in place and the hearth was free of soot and grime. Logs were placed on it, and it blazed to warm the room, to do exactly what it was designed to do. Warm!
Now, my house is about a half a century younger than that other house, and the fireplace is for all intents and purposes brand new. The tiles are all in place, the wood mantle gleams (when I remember to dust it!!) and although there is no mirror above it, the glass doorfront is shiny and free of soot and grime. My fireplace has never seen a log, the inside is white and clean and it sits in my house as just a pretty focal point to the room. It has never lived up to its purpose. The reason it was built and designed and lovingly set in place was to warm our home. I have never allowed it do that. I have kept it from fulfilling it's purpose in our home. It is a sad mirror image to its counterpart in my friend's house.
My dear husband likes to conserve energy and money. Good traits, except on days like this. His theory of just putting on more clothes is not working for me today. I have on a sweatshirt and pants, socks and I am wrapped in a blanket -- still I am sitting here shivering... and wait, wait, I think, yes, I know I can see my breath!! It is a frosty afternoon!
We have a fireplace, but we have never used it. I decided when we moved in that it was too pretty and white to mess up with black soot, so I have some beautiful candles in it, on a lovely candle holder, absolutely no warmth coming from it at all. It looks pretty though. I think if there was a wood pile anywhere on our land, I would be building a fire in it - right now. I have a fireplace on my deck, if it weren't so cold outside, I might be tempted to go out there and a build a fire... but that would require me to move, and quite honestly my seat is the only warm spot on me!!!
I find myself sitting here thinking of fire and warmth and how a fire can make all the coldness of a room just scurry away. It reminds me of yesterday. I got the privilege to visit one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, and see their new home. Well, it is really an OLD house, on a pretty street in a quaint little town near me. The house needs work, (don't we all!!) but it has a charm about it, even the doorbell is cool! Some of the nicest features are the fireplaces in the house. They are not in working condition (yet) but the hearths and mantles are really pretty - unlike the cookie cutter fireplaces that grace the new homes these days. We sat in the room with the prettiest one for a while and spent some time admiring it.
I have thought about that fireplace a lot today. Even more so since I am sitting in front of my own fireplace, freezing, this afternoon. That old fireplace is worn out, it needs some tender loving care and yet, it is beautiful. The cracks and imperfections make it all the more beautiful. The years have given it character. I looked at it and thought of all the people that must have warmed themselves in front of it as they entered the home. Once it was new and beautiful. The wood mantle gleamed, the mirror above it was shiny and new. The tiles were all in place and the hearth was free of soot and grime. Logs were placed on it, and it blazed to warm the room, to do exactly what it was designed to do. Warm!
Now, my house is about a half a century younger than that other house, and the fireplace is for all intents and purposes brand new. The tiles are all in place, the wood mantle gleams (when I remember to dust it!!) and although there is no mirror above it, the glass doorfront is shiny and free of soot and grime. My fireplace has never seen a log, the inside is white and clean and it sits in my house as just a pretty focal point to the room. It has never lived up to its purpose. The reason it was built and designed and lovingly set in place was to warm our home. I have never allowed it do that. I have kept it from fulfilling it's purpose in our home. It is a sad mirror image to its counterpart in my friend's house.
I wonder which of those fireplaces I am most like? Most of the time I feel like the new one in my house. So worried about the way I look, or the way my life looks on the outside to the rest of the world. Constantly fretting over the frivolous and all the while never accomplishing my real purpose in life. My selfishness keeps me from being warm and caring to those around me. Often I feel empty and hollow on the inside, all clean and shiny, but waiting on a purpose to make me full and complete. How often do I hurry through my day, skimming over the real moments that make life worth living, that bring warmth to my family, create memories and that make our life and home blaze with character?
I so want to be more like the fireplace in my friend's home. I want to see myself years from now, worn out, broken in spots, yet full of character. The marks and scars on my life, from years of serving others, caring for others and investing in them, just making it all the more a beautiful life. I want to know that my purpose in life had been fulfilled. To know that I warmed my friends, my family and all others who came in contact with me with love and kindness and joy. That I gave more than I was given. I want to know that if I should ever be broken down, someone would come along and want to love me enough to find out why I am broken. That I would look worthy enough to be fixed. I want to be the fireplace full of character, admired and loved for my faults as well as my potential.
I am so thankful for a God that looks at me and sees the broken, loves me and reaches down to make me workable again. I am so thankful for the second chances in life and the opportunity each day to remake myself into that "old" fireplace, fulfilling my purpose, warming those around me and working to be full of character and not continue on as a shiny new, boring and unused model.
Living Happily Ever After,
Beverly
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Wordless Wednesday
My daughter's first trip to Walmart - at two weeks old. I can't begin to tell you how many more trips she has made to that store... I found this picture and just couldn't resist sharing! Happy Wordless Wednesday!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Some Randomness!
I wanted to write a real blog post today, but my brain is tired... so here are some bits and pieces left over from my day!
1. Sometimes things in life hurt, just no way around it. But sometimes if you preserve in that pain, the sun will shine and it will get better, more manageable and ultimately you will find yourself thankful for the hurt itself!
2. I love dogs. I love big dogs. I like to pet them, to love on them and I love it when they reciprocate. Loving on a dog can cure just about anything. I met a big ole dog today. He made me happy, just to fluff his fur and look in his eyes...it was heaven!
3. I am psychic. No shock to my mother or my Aunt Nell, or even my husband who rolls his eyes when I say that... but this morning I had a feeling something would happen to my child at school and I would get a phone call on my cell about it. Sure enough, right before I picked her up, I was called by the director - another little girl had played "beauty shop" with my Hannah's hair and cut off a bit on the side. It wasn't even noticeable - but it proved once again, I am psychic!
4. I love it when I miss a call on my cell phone and the person leaves a message. I like to save my messages (cause I get SO few of them) and listen to them everyday! I am a weirdo.
5. I want someone to invent a time machine that allows me to skip the afternoon/evening time between 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM - it is pure torture to be around a four year old at this time of the day... pure torture.
6. My parents are in Gatlinburg, TN. I wish I were there too!
7. I hate to unload the dishwasher, hate it, hate it, hate it!
8. And last but not least...when you love somebody, you will always love them. Even if you try to stop, it is a useless endeavor. So,why even try? I wish I had grasped onto this little gem earlier in life!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
1. Sometimes things in life hurt, just no way around it. But sometimes if you preserve in that pain, the sun will shine and it will get better, more manageable and ultimately you will find yourself thankful for the hurt itself!
2. I love dogs. I love big dogs. I like to pet them, to love on them and I love it when they reciprocate. Loving on a dog can cure just about anything. I met a big ole dog today. He made me happy, just to fluff his fur and look in his eyes...it was heaven!
3. I am psychic. No shock to my mother or my Aunt Nell, or even my husband who rolls his eyes when I say that... but this morning I had a feeling something would happen to my child at school and I would get a phone call on my cell about it. Sure enough, right before I picked her up, I was called by the director - another little girl had played "beauty shop" with my Hannah's hair and cut off a bit on the side. It wasn't even noticeable - but it proved once again, I am psychic!
4. I love it when I miss a call on my cell phone and the person leaves a message. I like to save my messages (cause I get SO few of them) and listen to them everyday! I am a weirdo.
5. I want someone to invent a time machine that allows me to skip the afternoon/evening time between 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM - it is pure torture to be around a four year old at this time of the day... pure torture.
6. My parents are in Gatlinburg, TN. I wish I were there too!
7. I hate to unload the dishwasher, hate it, hate it, hate it!
8. And last but not least...when you love somebody, you will always love them. Even if you try to stop, it is a useless endeavor. So,why even try? I wish I had grasped onto this little gem earlier in life!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
Tuesday
It's Tuesday, I have lots to say. My thoughts are swirling right now....but I will be back. It was a good day...
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday Musings
THE SIMPLE WOMAN DAYBOOK
Outside my window...my child playing in the BEAUTIFUL autumn leaves, with my crazy yellow Labrador!
I am thinking...how excited I am that my old blue couch is getting a new home this afternoon!
I am thankful for...life, love, friends and my family
From the kitchen...Cajun chicken, corn, broccoli and bowtie pasta
I am wearing...jeans and my yellow sweater set!
I am creating...a short story for a contest
I am going...to be happy, if it kills me!
I am reading...a novel or two
I am hoping...everyone gets to be as happy as I am at some point in their life.
I am hearing...the dishwasher, the microwave, the tv and the washing machine.
Around the house...some clutter, some toys, my shoes!!
One of my favorite things...my laptop and my blog!
A few plans for the rest of the week: working, seeing old friends, some Christmas shopping, spending time with my family.
Outside my window...my child playing in the BEAUTIFUL autumn leaves, with my crazy yellow Labrador!
I am thinking...how excited I am that my old blue couch is getting a new home this afternoon!
I am thankful for...life, love, friends and my family
From the kitchen...Cajun chicken, corn, broccoli and bowtie pasta
I am wearing...jeans and my yellow sweater set!
I am creating...a short story for a contest
I am going...to be happy, if it kills me!
I am reading...a novel or two
I am hoping...everyone gets to be as happy as I am at some point in their life.
I am hearing...the dishwasher, the microwave, the tv and the washing machine.
Around the house...some clutter, some toys, my shoes!!
One of my favorite things...my laptop and my blog!
A few plans for the rest of the week: working, seeing old friends, some Christmas shopping, spending time with my family.
Remembering My Uncle Nate
This is a re-post from last year. It is my written tribute to my sweet Uncle Nate. He passed from this life to the next on November 14, 2007. One year ago this week. Rather than re-running this on Friday, I think it is fitting to just start this week out remembering him - for me it is enough. There is not a day goes by that I don't remember him and this week, I want to celebrate his life, rather than his death. So, remember my Uncle Nate with me, this one last time.
I am waking up this morning in the land of my birth. The land of Elvis, Faulkner and magnolia trees. It is a bittersweet homecoming. I love coming back here – and it has been much too long since I have journeyed this way. I love bringing my child here and seeing her face lit up by a horse, or a cow or the dogs that play at our feet.
Today, however, I am sad to be home. Those of us who are here, have traveled here to celebrate the life and mourn the loss of one of the best men God ever put on this earth. My Uncle Nate, my second father. I, although technically an only child, have somehow been blessed with four parents and two brothers, three sister-in-laws, two nieces, one nephew, and now one grand niece. How, you may ask is this possible?
Well, a long time ago, my father and mother came to this small town to be pastor of a tiny country church. This was long before I was even thought about in this world. They spent weekends here, and then traveled back to seminary for the weekly classes. It was custom in those days, that the preacher stay each weekend at a parishioner’s home, since the church did not have a pastorium. So, each weekend, my parents headed here, and spent the weekend in a different spot. No real home on those trips. Finally they were able to stay with one couple, close in age to them, who had two small boys. The foursome hit it off, and it was determined that on the weekends, my parents would stay at this one home, and be “at home” – no more guests in someone else’s place.
This is how it started. From that time on, there has always been a room designated for my folks, eventually for me, and then some time ago, my parents bought a home here as well. This couple, Nate, Nell and their two sons, Joey and Andy, became family. When I came along, much to my brother Andy’s chagrin, I became family as well. They welcomed me as a daughter, and became my Uncle Nate and Aunt Nell. They were my appointed legal guardians, should something happen to my folks, they were/are closer than any of my actual blood relatives. They are my second set of parents. Although the boys were much older than me – I still have always considered them my brothers, and the women they eventually married have always been to me like sisters. I have always confused people talking about my brothers, nephews, nieces and such. Truthfully, it is just fun to watch them wonder.
The death of my Uncle Nate was expected. But it has hit me in an unexpectedly harsh way. He had been sick for a while, at least three years. These last few years he would rally and then decline, but he has been at home and taken care of by my Aunt Nell, and I am sure that added to his life immeasurably.
I have not known a day on this earth without my Uncle Nate. He was the kindest, sweetest man I knew. He was also the strongest man I knew. I used to sit and watch him mix up all the food on his “platter”, not plate, before consuming it, eat a HUGE bowl of ice cream, and drink a gigantic glass of water all while telling tall tales and laughing around the table. He was bigger than life to a small girl whose only taste of the country life was watching him and how he worked the farm. He was a cattle, timber and chicken farmer who always smelled of earth, chickens (and not the good KFC kind!!) and hard work. He woke up with the chickens (literally) and spent the day tending to them, cutting timber or hay and seeing to the needs of the farm. He did not hold a college degree, but he held the highest honors in family, farming and pure and simple faith. He was wise, patient and yet, he was also known to succumb to the occasional temper outbursts of the scariest kind.
Most girls marry a man like their fathers; I could not find one because that mold was definitely broken, and so I married the next best thing- a man like my Uncle Nate. It is scary how true this statement is. My husband is hardworking, kind, patient, and has a screwdriver throwing temper as well.
I loved my Uncle Nate. He would always take time with me, even though I know he was often busy. And I am sure he would have rather taken a Sunday afternoon nap than take me horseback riding, nevertheless he always did. He used to bring me sugar cane, and then sit in his chair and peel it for me so I could taste the sweetness. He taught me about grease, gravy and skunk fluid, and if I ever get my cookbook published, that is the title, and then maybe you all can know the secret recipe too! He taught me about chickens. I can recall walking with him through the chicken houses, learning all about their feed, their water and what happens to a sick one --- DON’T ask! I can still picture him walking in the pasture, and I can still hear him calling to the cows or horses. I can see him in the old broken school bus feeding the goats.
There is just no place on this land that he has not touched, no where that I do not see him in my mind’s eye. It has been his kingdom for 80 years. Now most of the buildings are falling in, broken, in need of repair. They are missing his touch. I guess they always will.Uncle Nate is gone. This place is different. Even though he has been sick for a long time, to me, his presence was still here – now it is gone. The chicken houses are empty, his beloved cows are gone. If hay is baled or trees are felled, it will be by someone else’s labor. My heart is broken, and I fear that a tiny piece has been forever taken away.
Just yesterday, we stood in the driveway and watched as a runaway calf was herded out of Uncle Nate’s pasture by its owners. Once again dogs, horses and cattle calls were heard in that pasture. I keep thinking that just maybe, if we had looked closer, we would have seen a third horse, a third man, and heard a sweeter cattle call – maybe Uncle Nate was once again out in his beloved pasture, with his cows, calling them home, calling them to go with him as he traveled on to his heavenly home.
I am so lucky to have a piece of this man in my soul. He will always be with me now. I am sad that my daughter will never really know him except through my tales. I hope I can do him justice as I re-tell all I know of him. More than anything, I hope she learns from me of his kindness, his love of his family and of his faith in our God. She is part of my life because of him and his life. He is part of her heritage as well. The thread keeps connecting, the story goes on, and just like life on the farm, the cycle of life continues.
I am waking up this morning in the land of my birth. The land of Elvis, Faulkner and magnolia trees. It is a bittersweet homecoming. I love coming back here – and it has been much too long since I have journeyed this way. I love bringing my child here and seeing her face lit up by a horse, or a cow or the dogs that play at our feet.
Today, however, I am sad to be home. Those of us who are here, have traveled here to celebrate the life and mourn the loss of one of the best men God ever put on this earth. My Uncle Nate, my second father. I, although technically an only child, have somehow been blessed with four parents and two brothers, three sister-in-laws, two nieces, one nephew, and now one grand niece. How, you may ask is this possible?
Well, a long time ago, my father and mother came to this small town to be pastor of a tiny country church. This was long before I was even thought about in this world. They spent weekends here, and then traveled back to seminary for the weekly classes. It was custom in those days, that the preacher stay each weekend at a parishioner’s home, since the church did not have a pastorium. So, each weekend, my parents headed here, and spent the weekend in a different spot. No real home on those trips. Finally they were able to stay with one couple, close in age to them, who had two small boys. The foursome hit it off, and it was determined that on the weekends, my parents would stay at this one home, and be “at home” – no more guests in someone else’s place.
This is how it started. From that time on, there has always been a room designated for my folks, eventually for me, and then some time ago, my parents bought a home here as well. This couple, Nate, Nell and their two sons, Joey and Andy, became family. When I came along, much to my brother Andy’s chagrin, I became family as well. They welcomed me as a daughter, and became my Uncle Nate and Aunt Nell. They were my appointed legal guardians, should something happen to my folks, they were/are closer than any of my actual blood relatives. They are my second set of parents. Although the boys were much older than me – I still have always considered them my brothers, and the women they eventually married have always been to me like sisters. I have always confused people talking about my brothers, nephews, nieces and such. Truthfully, it is just fun to watch them wonder.
The death of my Uncle Nate was expected. But it has hit me in an unexpectedly harsh way. He had been sick for a while, at least three years. These last few years he would rally and then decline, but he has been at home and taken care of by my Aunt Nell, and I am sure that added to his life immeasurably.
I have not known a day on this earth without my Uncle Nate. He was the kindest, sweetest man I knew. He was also the strongest man I knew. I used to sit and watch him mix up all the food on his “platter”, not plate, before consuming it, eat a HUGE bowl of ice cream, and drink a gigantic glass of water all while telling tall tales and laughing around the table. He was bigger than life to a small girl whose only taste of the country life was watching him and how he worked the farm. He was a cattle, timber and chicken farmer who always smelled of earth, chickens (and not the good KFC kind!!) and hard work. He woke up with the chickens (literally) and spent the day tending to them, cutting timber or hay and seeing to the needs of the farm. He did not hold a college degree, but he held the highest honors in family, farming and pure and simple faith. He was wise, patient and yet, he was also known to succumb to the occasional temper outbursts of the scariest kind.
Most girls marry a man like their fathers; I could not find one because that mold was definitely broken, and so I married the next best thing- a man like my Uncle Nate. It is scary how true this statement is. My husband is hardworking, kind, patient, and has a screwdriver throwing temper as well.
I loved my Uncle Nate. He would always take time with me, even though I know he was often busy. And I am sure he would have rather taken a Sunday afternoon nap than take me horseback riding, nevertheless he always did. He used to bring me sugar cane, and then sit in his chair and peel it for me so I could taste the sweetness. He taught me about grease, gravy and skunk fluid, and if I ever get my cookbook published, that is the title, and then maybe you all can know the secret recipe too! He taught me about chickens. I can recall walking with him through the chicken houses, learning all about their feed, their water and what happens to a sick one --- DON’T ask! I can still picture him walking in the pasture, and I can still hear him calling to the cows or horses. I can see him in the old broken school bus feeding the goats.
There is just no place on this land that he has not touched, no where that I do not see him in my mind’s eye. It has been his kingdom for 80 years. Now most of the buildings are falling in, broken, in need of repair. They are missing his touch. I guess they always will.Uncle Nate is gone. This place is different. Even though he has been sick for a long time, to me, his presence was still here – now it is gone. The chicken houses are empty, his beloved cows are gone. If hay is baled or trees are felled, it will be by someone else’s labor. My heart is broken, and I fear that a tiny piece has been forever taken away.
Just yesterday, we stood in the driveway and watched as a runaway calf was herded out of Uncle Nate’s pasture by its owners. Once again dogs, horses and cattle calls were heard in that pasture. I keep thinking that just maybe, if we had looked closer, we would have seen a third horse, a third man, and heard a sweeter cattle call – maybe Uncle Nate was once again out in his beloved pasture, with his cows, calling them home, calling them to go with him as he traveled on to his heavenly home.
I am so lucky to have a piece of this man in my soul. He will always be with me now. I am sad that my daughter will never really know him except through my tales. I hope I can do him justice as I re-tell all I know of him. More than anything, I hope she learns from me of his kindness, his love of his family and of his faith in our God. She is part of my life because of him and his life. He is part of her heritage as well. The thread keeps connecting, the story goes on, and just like life on the farm, the cycle of life continues.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Happy Birthday to Her!
Today is my friend Molly's birthday.
Just wanted to take a minute and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her and let her know she is one of my dearest friends on the earth. We have been through a lot in our YEARS of friendship... we are holders of each other's secrets, listeners in the middle of the night, we cry and rejoice with each other and all the trials and tribulations of raising our families. I am blessed to call her friend and so thankful for another year to celebrate her life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLFRIEND!
You know I love ya!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
Just wanted to take a minute and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her and let her know she is one of my dearest friends on the earth. We have been through a lot in our YEARS of friendship... we are holders of each other's secrets, listeners in the middle of the night, we cry and rejoice with each other and all the trials and tribulations of raising our families. I am blessed to call her friend and so thankful for another year to celebrate her life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLFRIEND!
You know I love ya!
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
Fun Pics For Your Viewing Pleasure
Fun in the sun with Hannah and HB. Can you believe how fast a puppy can grow in 7 months?
Here is a pic of him back in June...gotta love a big, yellow dog!
Happy Sunday everyone!
Living Happily In the Moment,
Beverly
Saturday, November 8, 2008
A Saltine A Day...Can Take The Blues Away!
Okay, I feel I have bummed you all out...sorry for my "will the pain go away, EVER?" post. It really was how I was feeling at the time, this is an honest place, I say what I feel, sometimes it is happy and sometimes it is not. It is what it is... sorry.
This afternoon I discovered something really fun... look at this:
This afternoon I discovered something really fun... look at this:
Have you ever?
I mean what could be better than a big Saltine, but a little bitty one!
I love Saltine crackers, always have. I think it goes back to my days as a toddler in the church nursery when our snack of the morning was always Saltine crackers and red Kool-Aid. I can taste it now!
When I am having a particularly bad day, I love nothing better than to stack three or four Saltines with American cheese and eat away!
How fitting that the post after my depressing post of this morning should be one on Saltines... they are the ultimate comfort food for me -- and now they come in MINI -size!!
So, sorry to have been such a party pooper with the last post, but here is some Saltines to make you feel all better!
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
Just a wondering...
I wonder...will it always hurt or will one day the pain completely go away? I ask, because right now, the pain is gone, but every so often it comes back as searing and intense as it ever was but then thankfully, it goes away almost as quickly and makes room for the laughter. Will it ever go away completely or is that just the way of the world and our fragile human selves, that some pain, some hurts, some scars just never heal completely?
Just putting a message in a bottle and throwing it out to the bloggity sea. What do you guys think? Leave a comment - I would love to hear from you.
Living Happily In the Moment (and possibly thinking too much!!)
Beverly
Just putting a message in a bottle and throwing it out to the bloggity sea. What do you guys think? Leave a comment - I would love to hear from you.
Living Happily In the Moment (and possibly thinking too much!!)
Beverly
Friday, November 7, 2008
My Friday Fave Five
Here are my Friday Faves! Five things that have made my week extra special!
1. Spending Sunday at church with my family. It seems like such a little thing, but we don't get to all sit in church together very often...and this past Sunday we all three sat together. It was nice.
2. Going to the fair on Tuesday. This year was particularly fun because we got to see so many friends and my child had lots of playmates and ride buddies and had the time of her life. Even though I was sick, it was worth it to be there to witness her joy.
3. Making pumpkin muffins for my kids at work. I love the way the house smelled on Wednesday morning as I started baking them at 6:30 AM. Forget chocolate chip cookies, the BEST house smell is pumpkin!
4. Waking up on a chilly morning, hanging with my daughter, making pancakes. So far, Friday has been awesome.
5. Emailing and Chatting online with friends... keeping up with their lives and laughing on my side of the computer screen.... it is a great way to spend the morning (or the afternoon)
So what are your Friday Fave 5?
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
Thursday, November 6, 2008
And The Fair Came To Town
Here is a little known fact, apparently,if you are four, you can wake up in the middle of the night with an EXTREME desire to have a nightgown fashion show. At least, that is the reason for me being awake at 4:30 AM. I was jolted awake to the screams of "MOM, I have to change into my Tinkerbell gown, not this one, MOM! come quick!!" So, off I ran (stumbled!) to help her change her gown, because, heaven help us, she could not sleep one more minute in the gown with cows on it, not one more minute!
Since I was awake anyway, I decided to let you all in on our night at the fair. It was great. Well, my hubby and daughter thought so anyway. I was a bit miserable, cold, stuffy head and although I have no proof, I firmly believe I had a bit of a fever as well. Nonetheless, we went to the fair.
Since I was awake anyway, I decided to let you all in on our night at the fair. It was great. Well, my hubby and daughter thought so anyway. I was a bit miserable, cold, stuffy head and although I have no proof, I firmly believe I had a bit of a fever as well. Nonetheless, we went to the fair.
We arrived around 5 PM, just as the gates were opening and met our friends S, S and P. P and Hannah have been in Sunday School together since infancy and are both only children. We parents had decided that the two only children needed fair rides buddies, so we arranged to go at the same time so they would have a friend. It turned out marvelously. Hannah is no stranger to fair rides, she has been a big fan for the last two years, P had not ridden any before, so having Hannah available to give her some courage was a plus. She liked most all of them, although the roller coaster was NOT poor P's favorite. I don't blame her, I would have screamed too -- I hate all those rides.
They did ride the Merry Go Round, Little Nemo, The Flying Fish, The Dragons, the Big Slide and finally the Ferris Wheel. Hannah has wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel since last year when I told her she had to wait until she was four. I think she has asked me at least once a month since then when the fair was coming and could she ride the Ferris Wheel this year. Seriously, she has a love of all things scary. I hate rides, I hate heights, I hate speed... she is my complete opposite. Thank goodness her daddy likes these things as well.
After a trip through the Petting Zoo (her Pa Nate would be so proud, Hannah's favorite animals were the goats!) and a pony ride, P and her mom and dad left the fair, and we of course, stayed. Hannah begged to go back to the slide, I begged for a funnel cake and we both got our wish. While sliding for the 100th time of the night, we ran into our church's youth director, his wife and their daughter who is Hannah's age as well. Those two girls took up together and we spent another major portion of the night walking with them and watching our two "tomboy" girls in action. The Cars, The Motorcycles, The Ferris Wheel (again), the slide, the slide, the slide...did I mention they liked the slide?
We also ran into several more couples from church and elsewhere, all our kiddos are about the same age, so we adults just stood around and watched the kids play. It was fun, in an exhausting sort of way. The fair was not crowded, but the red Georgia clay was messy and oozed beneath our feet. The music was great, one of those crazy rides played 80's music all night long, so you know I was completely fine, well, except for the coldness of the wind, the stuffiness of my head and that tiny bit of fever that caused me to shiver every now and then. It was all worth it though, the look on my child's face as she rode the rides, well, it was worth every minute of discomfort on my end. Every bit.
We also ran into several more couples from church and elsewhere, all our kiddos are about the same age, so we adults just stood around and watched the kids play. It was fun, in an exhausting sort of way. The fair was not crowded, but the red Georgia clay was messy and oozed beneath our feet. The music was great, one of those crazy rides played 80's music all night long, so you know I was completely fine, well, except for the coldness of the wind, the stuffiness of my head and that tiny bit of fever that caused me to shiver every now and then. It was all worth it though, the look on my child's face as she rode the rides, well, it was worth every minute of discomfort on my end. Every bit.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Have I told you lately about the new horror that has taken over my life? Well, buckle up, bloggity friends, here it is.
My four year old, that precious, loving, happy, little girl has a BOYFRIEND. Yes, sadly, you read that right. This of course is terrifying to me. Me, the one who swore from her first days on this earth that I would not allow such a horror to befall her, at least until she was thirty, or I was dead, whichever came first. Me, the one who has sat up late with her husband many nights, conjuring up plan after plan to combat any forthcoming teenage hormones. Me, I am that mother - the mother of a four year old who has a boyfriend.
His name is Josh. Perfect, so biblical and yet such a soap opera name. I personally believe all boys with a four letter biblical name beginning in a J will most certainly break your heart and should be clearly steered away from, so naturally, my daughter's first "boyfriend" is named Josh, Naturally!
My kindergarten boyfriend was a Jeffrey (Jeff), first grade brought a Jonathan and then of course, dear Mask boy had the full combo, biblical name that started with a J and only four letters. I speak from experience with the J's -- it never turns out pretty!!
Her Josh, well, he is cute, she has good taste, at least on a preschool level. Of all the boys in her class, he would probably be my pick - but again, NOT A GOOD INDICATION as I would just rather she not follow in my path. Nonetheless, he is cute and if you are gonna kiss a guy - he better be cute, right?!? Life is too short to kiss ugly boys -- or so I have been told.
Oh - did I not mention she kisses him... and is proud of this!!! Even more chilling, she kissed him RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. No shame, just reached right over and smacked him on the (thank goodness) cheek during their circle time at the Fall Party last week. It was a proud mommy moment, especially since I was standing and talking with his mother at the time. Mortifying!!
On the way to school this morning Hannah informed me that the first thing she was going to do when she saw Josh was kiss him. And although thankfully I didn't have to witness the event, I am quite sure she did...she is very sure of her intents and always follows through.
This afternoon and evening, every sentence that has flown out of her mouth has begun with the words "Do you know what Josh does?" and then she proceeds to regale a silly joke, or slapstick comedy move that he has done on the playground or in the classroom today. I can't tell you how annoying that is... and all I can think of is my poor parents. I shudder to think I did all of this to them.
The only upswing to this new "boyfriend" phase is that she truly does not know what a boyfriend is. When pressed, she just says she kisses him because he is her friend and really it is incredibly sweet the way she talks about him. Sadly for her, however, although he is does seem to like her and want her in his circle, his "circle" is ALL of the girls in her class. He is quite the ladies man. Great! Just what we need a broken heart at four years old.
Yep, cute, "ladies man", and his name is biblical, four letters and heaven help us, starts with a "J". Somebody help me, I feel a migraine coming on and I think it just might last for the next twenty years.
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
My four year old, that precious, loving, happy, little girl has a BOYFRIEND. Yes, sadly, you read that right. This of course is terrifying to me. Me, the one who swore from her first days on this earth that I would not allow such a horror to befall her, at least until she was thirty, or I was dead, whichever came first. Me, the one who has sat up late with her husband many nights, conjuring up plan after plan to combat any forthcoming teenage hormones. Me, I am that mother - the mother of a four year old who has a boyfriend.
His name is Josh. Perfect, so biblical and yet such a soap opera name. I personally believe all boys with a four letter biblical name beginning in a J will most certainly break your heart and should be clearly steered away from, so naturally, my daughter's first "boyfriend" is named Josh, Naturally!
My kindergarten boyfriend was a Jeffrey (Jeff), first grade brought a Jonathan and then of course, dear Mask boy had the full combo, biblical name that started with a J and only four letters. I speak from experience with the J's -- it never turns out pretty!!
Her Josh, well, he is cute, she has good taste, at least on a preschool level. Of all the boys in her class, he would probably be my pick - but again, NOT A GOOD INDICATION as I would just rather she not follow in my path. Nonetheless, he is cute and if you are gonna kiss a guy - he better be cute, right?!? Life is too short to kiss ugly boys -- or so I have been told.
Oh - did I not mention she kisses him... and is proud of this!!! Even more chilling, she kissed him RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. No shame, just reached right over and smacked him on the (thank goodness) cheek during their circle time at the Fall Party last week. It was a proud mommy moment, especially since I was standing and talking with his mother at the time. Mortifying!!
On the way to school this morning Hannah informed me that the first thing she was going to do when she saw Josh was kiss him. And although thankfully I didn't have to witness the event, I am quite sure she did...she is very sure of her intents and always follows through.
This afternoon and evening, every sentence that has flown out of her mouth has begun with the words "Do you know what Josh does?" and then she proceeds to regale a silly joke, or slapstick comedy move that he has done on the playground or in the classroom today. I can't tell you how annoying that is... and all I can think of is my poor parents. I shudder to think I did all of this to them.
The only upswing to this new "boyfriend" phase is that she truly does not know what a boyfriend is. When pressed, she just says she kisses him because he is her friend and really it is incredibly sweet the way she talks about him. Sadly for her, however, although he is does seem to like her and want her in his circle, his "circle" is ALL of the girls in her class. He is quite the ladies man. Great! Just what we need a broken heart at four years old.
Yep, cute, "ladies man", and his name is biblical, four letters and heaven help us, starts with a "J". Somebody help me, I feel a migraine coming on and I think it just might last for the next twenty years.
Living Happily In The Moment!
Beverly
Monday, November 3, 2008
Monday's Simple Woman Daybook!
I am joining up with The Simple Woman's blog for a weekly blog meme. Hope you enjoy it as well.
I am thinking...how disappointed my child is that we can't go to the fair tonight, and how LONG this evening is going to be!
I am thankful for... my life, no matter how much I complain, I am blessed.
From the kitchen...hamburger steak, mac and cheese, tossed salad and butter beans.
I am wearing...the same clothes I wore to work, and I am COLD!
I am creating... a blog post, some sign up sheets for work and a clutter free home, one closet at a time.
I am going...to stay as strong as I can, do my best and let God handle the rest.
I am reading...blogs and a few novels, nothing special at the moment.
I am hoping...to hear from a friend soon. I need a smile and a hug...
I am hearing...Guiding Light on the tv, booms from the nearby quarry.
Around the house...a clean playroom and my daughter's room, some laundry to do and a sinkfull of dishes.
One of my favorite things... Peanut Butter M & M's - just discovered them today!
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: hoping to go to the fair one night this week, hoping for a lunch date with a friend, no lines when I go vote tomorrow, dinner with some friends, a playdate for my child, some peace in the midst of it all and that all my messages in bottles get read.
Here is picture thought I am sharing... (the view up my driveway!)
FOR TODAY
Outside My Window... Rain, rain and more rain. Yucky rain and more yucky rain. Oh - and pretty autumn leaves on our trees, but mostly rain!
I am thinking...how disappointed my child is that we can't go to the fair tonight, and how LONG this evening is going to be!
I am thankful for... my life, no matter how much I complain, I am blessed.
From the kitchen...hamburger steak, mac and cheese, tossed salad and butter beans.
I am wearing...the same clothes I wore to work, and I am COLD!
I am creating... a blog post, some sign up sheets for work and a clutter free home, one closet at a time.
I am going...to stay as strong as I can, do my best and let God handle the rest.
I am reading...blogs and a few novels, nothing special at the moment.
I am hoping...to hear from a friend soon. I need a smile and a hug...
I am hearing...Guiding Light on the tv, booms from the nearby quarry.
Around the house...a clean playroom and my daughter's room, some laundry to do and a sinkfull of dishes.
One of my favorite things... Peanut Butter M & M's - just discovered them today!
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: hoping to go to the fair one night this week, hoping for a lunch date with a friend, no lines when I go vote tomorrow, dinner with some friends, a playdate for my child, some peace in the midst of it all and that all my messages in bottles get read.
Here is picture thought I am sharing... (the view up my driveway!)
Living Happily In the Moment!
Beverly
click here more Simple Woman's Daybook
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Tinkerbell's Halloween
I am sitting at my kitchen table on this very chilly November morning, listening to Christmas carols, drinking hot chocolate and reviewing the photographs from last night's Halloween activities. It is a meeting of the holidays!!
Our little "tinkerbell" had the best time last night. We were able to trick or treat in an actual neighborhood with our friends T, L and K. We started this tradition last year and all this year we have looked forward to the event. Last year we walked the neighborhood, this year, T got us a golf cart and we had a golf cart convoy! It was a great way to trick or treat. The girls had a grand time going house to house, saying ever so sweetly "Trick or Treat" and even more sweetly, "Thank You!" It is a blessing to know that your child actually remembers to mind her manners, even in the most chaotic of circumstances. Maybe we are doing something right after all!
After the coldness of the night had frozen our bones, we headed back to their house for some hot chocolate and the girls compared candy. Then all too soon, it was over and we packed up the car to trick or treat at both grandparents' houses. Tinkerbell was a bit tired but she managed to pull through for one more trick or treat at my parent's house. She received her goodies - the new Tinkerbell movie (yipee!!!), candy bracelets (always a hit!) and even a Cinderella and Snow White cookie! She was so excited!
After this visit, we headed out to Danny's parent's. The ride there was fine, we popped the new Tinkerbell movie in and our little Tink stayed awake. She managed to walk in the door, but after about five minutes she sat down and soon this is what we had on our hands:
A "too pooped to party any more, Tinkerbell!!"It was a fun night, we have lots of candy, plenty to last the whole year, and we are heading happily toward our next fun event... THE FAIR!!!
Living Happily in THIS moment!
Beverly
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