I know I have written quite a few posts over the last few days about my deafness... sorry for all you bored readers out there... here is another!
I went to the doctor (again) for my "condition" and received another round of medication, sure to cure-all! I was also treated to the joy and distinction of being the worst case of ear infection the doctor has seen so far this year. She truly didn't know how I was still able to function. Apparently, lucky for me, the infection is so bad, that there is no room in my ear canal for pain. Unfortunately, the medication she has prescribed will clear that infection right up - and I was forewarned of some painful moments to come my way...OH JOY!!
The last few days have been really hard for me -- I have been thrown into a world I don't understand -- the world of silence. I have found myself in a group of people, unable to participate in the smallest conversations, I have sat with people, face to face and strained for every word, every syllable of what they are saying. I have missed my child singing in the backseat, I have not heard the phone ring for days, I have been sneaked up on by my husband on more than one occasion and I haven't enjoyed a television show all week. I miss noise, I miss the blathering of my girl, I miss the everyday sounds. I don't like to spend a lot of time "in my head!" There is stuff going on in there I do not like to delve into, but this silence that has invaded my life has given me more than one opportunity to look inward. It is not a really pretty sight. Some of the scenes are fun to think about, but most scare me and some even quake me to my toes. I will be glad for my hearing to return... if only for the bliss of noises and distractions from my brain. Ever feel that way? I didn't realize how much I didn't think - until it was all I had to do!! ;-)
I am generally a happy person - I surround myself with friends and family, music and laughter and being without the comfort of all of these things has turned me rather melancholy this week.
The medication is supposed to get to work and hopefully by the end of the weekend, I will be hearing and "seeing" things a bit more clearly! Here's hoping!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
2 comments:
Bless your heart.
I'm sorry you are still dealing with that. I wonder if the meds are contributing to the melancholy?
I often watch Li'l Empress when she's sitting reading a book and totally absorbed and wonder what she can hear when she's focused like that. I wonder what it's like to never hear from both sides. By all appearances, she's managing well and contributes to the noise level here quite well. But I still wonder what she's getting and what she's missing. . .
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