One Is The Loneliest Number!

I am lonely tonight.

I just wrote on my facebook page that I was enjoying a quiet moment in my crazy house...but that is really not true. Yep, you caught me - I lie to my facebook friends!

My husband and child have both gone to bed, but not before entertaining me immensely with a wild game of Wii bowling. The house was filled with lots of noises, bowling pins slamming against one another, people cheering, music from the radio, my husband and little girl "high-fiving" each other after strikes and spares. Sounds that on most other nights might have been irritating to me, tonight were welcome! My hearing is returning, not one hundred percent yet, but one hundred times better than this time last week for sure. All the sounds and noises have flooded back into my world and I am loving them all.

Tonight as everyone as gone off to sleep, I find myself once again, sitting in a quiet house. It makes me a little sad, and more than a little lonely.

I am someone that has built a life around being alone. I am a shift-worker's wife. Long ago I realized that many nights and many weekends I would be alone. Many events, at church or with our families would be spent with me attending alone. I have gotten quite used to it, I grew up as an only child, I am used to playing alone. We spent 13 years waiting for a child to spice up our life. All that time, I knew true loneliness in my heart. Loneliness is a companion of mine, I know it well, I am sometimes happy to see it...but not tonight!

I am finding myself wishing everyone would wake up again and come and play. The sounds of life are so precious...I have missed them so much these past few weeks...and tonight I just want them to continue just a little bit longer. I want my child to cuddle with me, my husband to make me laugh...I want my ears to hurt from the sound of laughter and not ring with the sounds of silence anymore.

Maybe I will just go to bed early tonight, a little rest will do me good, and maybe, just maybe I will dream of loud noises and people to share it all with!!

Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly