Dreams

Dreams. Webster says dreams are many things, one of which is an ambition, a cherished desire.

I saw someone's dream come true this week. Well, at least start to come true. This friend is a musician whose band just got signed to a distribution management company. It is the first step in a long road to fame and fortune...but it is a great achievement. For my friend, a cherished desire is on the horizon, I couldn't be happier or celebrate the accomplishment more.

I know a little bit about dreams, ambitions, and cherished desires. Early in my life I wanted to be a florist. All I wanted was just a little shop, nothing too big or fancy, just a place that people could wander into and find a flower to make them smile, plan their wedding, or celebrate a life with flowers around a casket. I thought of it as a calling, a way to give to people and take part in their happy and sad times.

I went to school and obtained the appropriate degree, learned to arrange flowers in a pleasing way, learned some of the business end of it all, and then I jumped, head first into owning my own shop. I didn't want to take the time to learn the ropes through another shop, work my way through the learning curve, I was impatient, impulsive. I wanted to be the boss - and so I was.

Shouldering the responsibility was overwhelming for me. Ordering, estimating, pricing, financial obligations; it was all mine to handle and I was very ill-equipped. Twelve years later I can see it clearly. Then I was just stubborn. I worked hard, I put in lots of hours, commanded family members to step in and help me, it was arduous work. For the most part, I was stuck in my shop, alone, for most of the day. I had customers, even some large church and corporate accounts, but it was still a sinking ship.

I remember sitting and wishing one day that I could just be in an office somewhere working, with other people, gabbing, laughing, working on a project and just being able to go home at the end of the day, collect a paycheck and enjoy life. At the time, I was not doing anything really enjoyable. Even looking at flowers started driving me crazy. I don't think there was a happier day for me, than the day I decided to close up my shop, take down the sign and go back to the work life I had abandoned in the pursuit of my dream.

It was bittersweet. I am glad I pursued the dream. I hate the feeling of regret or not knowing how something would have worked out. I think God gives us dreams for a reason. It is either to use our talent for some greater good or to show us our true self. I am certain that my floral shop dream was a way to mold my character. I think He had bigger plans than just me selling flowers in pretty arrangements. I needed that dream to teach me how dependant I really am on Him, to weed a little of the impatience and impulsiveness out of my life. It served it's purpose, most definitely.

I have other dreams now. Some are big and some are small, but they are so different from the dreams I had when I was twenty or thirty or even forty. I am looking forward to the pursuit of those dreams, because to me, that is part of the fun.

Living Happily In the Moment
Bev