Happy Mother's Day

I am so thankful to be a mom. It holds more meaning for me than I could ever express so I am just going to skip it for today. Today I will concentrate on other moms in my world. The women who have helped shape me into the person and mom I am today.

My own mother, my greatest example of love and nurture. I have always been a daddy's girl, but truthfully, now I can say I am a mommy's girl too. As I have gotten older, my mom has become an even more important person in my life. I depend on her for wisdom, for help, for encouragement and understanding. Even if she is not particularly fond of things I do or decisions I make, she is always understanding...I don't have to wonder if she is on my side - I know she is. She has taught me well and I remember all the lessons, I am trying hard to emulate her in the ways I mother my daughter. I just hope one day my daughter feels about me, the way I do my own mom. I can't imagine getting through my day without her.

My Aunt Nell. She was there at the hospital when I was born and has been in my life ever since. Growing up I wanted to be like her in many ways, I even pursued the floral trade because she owned one. I have turned to her for advice on the major issues in my life and she comes through for me every time. No matter how busy, she is always ready to listen to my tales and offer advice. This past year I have leaned on her probably more than any other time in my life, she had helped me in ways that even she doesn't know about. She is my mom's best friend, and with the two of them in my world, I have more than I could ever hope for in the mother category.

My grandmothers, though both gone now, were special to me in their own ways. My mom's mom, my MeMa, and I never really got to know one another, she spent most of my teenage years in a nursing home battling Alzheimer's and died when I was eighteen..I never got to know her, hear her stories or learn life lessons from her. But even so,I feel connected to her through my own mother and other families members who knew her, in that way she has given me advice and taught me many things. My daddy's mom, my MaMa, was with me until four years ago. Although I never felt extremely close to her, I know she loved me and the times we did spend together were special and live in my memory still. Her life was full and she taught me many things. I think I get at least some of my strong will and independent streak from her...and if that is so, they are traits I treasure and embrace.

There are other women in my life that mothered me in various ways on this journey of mine, my mother in law, Sunday School teachers, school teachers, friend's mothers and even some of my own peer group have served me in the care and nurture category. I love them all.

Lastly, there is one other mother in my world that four and half years ago helped me become a mother. She is Hannah's birthmom and I love her very much. There are no words to describe our journey together. It is bittersweet and sacred to me.

I am someone who waited all her life to be a mom. I spent many, many years feeling terrible on this day in May. I have sat in church and watched as women all around me where acknowledged as being moms, while I was forgotten simply because I didn't have a living child. I have cried many tears, and through all of that I have tried to concentrate on the fact that I had a mother to celebrate, but even so, this day has always been a struggle for me. I thought that becoming a mom would cure it all for me. It hasn't. My wound is still deep and some scars you never lose. I really still take no joy in celebrating Mother's day for myself, but I am extremely happy to celebrate my mother and all the other women in my life, whether they are mothers or not. It is a happy day, it is a moment to be happy and treasure.

Happy Mothers Day!
Bev