And the Thunder Rolled...

Hey everyone! I have missed you all. My break was great, even though only a few days, it allowed me to push through my writer's block at least a little bit...I was inspired by lots of things, this is just one of them. I wanted to preface this piece with a little bit of back story. As you read it you might be tempted to believe that I am in the midst of a some sort of mental or nervous breakdown. Trust me, that is not the case. I re-read it this morning and thought it seemed a bit dour...and that is not my intent. This piece is about storms, those outside of our homes and those that rage inside of our hearts. I am sure you have experienced times of upheaval in your world as well, it is not all necessarily doom and gloom all the time... that is where I am at today. I have a happy life, great friends and family and no real tragedies are befalling me or anyone I know these days...that does not, however, mean that sometimes I don't feel sad or depressed or anxious. Sometimes I am just not content...but like the story below, there is always hope. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I have that hope, the hope that no matter the storm, no matter the mistakes or obstacles in life, He carries me through it all, He is the shelter in the storm. I hope you know that peace in the midst of life's storms as well.

So, with that said, enjoy this piece. I hope you can find something to relate to within its paragraphs. Part of my rest from the blog was to give me some space to come back and write in all different forms, this post is a bit of allegory and fiction. and a tiny bit of memoir, so, please....don't send the men in the white coats out for me just yet!!

And The Thunder Rolled...

I am writing this in the midst of a storm, it seems both a literal and a figurative one. The storm raging outside my door tonight is fierce. The wind is blowing the tall pine trees almost to the ground, the rain is beating against all the windows in this house and I am sorely rethinking the choice to have had big over sized windows as part of this construction. There are leaves and sticks flying across the yard as if someone were flinging them purposely toward some unseen target. The thunder is rolling around me; if it were darker I am sure I would see the shards of lightening blazing through the clouds. We had a storm like this last night and once again, it is rolling through our area.

Thankfully according to our weather forecaster, this is a brief storm and although the power is out and making life a little inconvenient at the moment, the storm is slated to pass over my little house shortly and I am confident that all will be restored soon and life will continue.

If only all storms were like this one. The other storms rolling through my life these days are not so sure and predictable. There is change blowing through like that raging wind, and most days I can truly identify with these pretty Georgia pines, bent halfway to the ground by circumstances, just hoping I get the chance to stand upright again soon. The tears that beat against my cheeks at night when I try to sleep come like the rain that is beating against my tall dining room window, falling fast and furious and then stopping, only to start again the next time I hear a song, or talk to a friend who knows my heart. It seems life is hurdling sticks toward me, situations I can’t dodge or control, feelings that threaten to stab my heart again and again. And the thunder, that thunder. It is in the distance, the low growl of sadness and coming storms that seems to make the soul quiver is ever present. I hear the sound of life, of change, of all my failures and mistakes echoing in my head and I can’t run from it, and like the actual thunder, no manner of sandwiching my head between two pillows will make it go away. The growl of the thunder in my head draws out my memories and images of my life, which like lightening, seem to pervade my dreams and like the storm that is raging outside, the inward storm rages in my heart.

Will the real storm pass quickly as we have been promised? What about my inner storm. I am beginning to think that I will feel it and the after effects for a long time to come.Perhaps the wind will clear away the debris in my head and heart, perhaps the rain of tears will water my soul and make it feel new again. Perhaps I can wake up tomorrow and smell the crisp, clean air of a new beginning.

I have hope though. Just as the storm is now passing by and there is calm once again to the world outside my window, I know that sooner or later, there will be calm inside my heart as well. I feel that coming too. I have hope and it is like that ray of sunshine now flooding my once dark home.

Living Happily In the Moment!

Bev