Earlier this week I was introduced by a friend to another blogger and I have been enjoying reading that blog and soaking up the inspiration that I found there. The author of the blog is a friend of a friend and although we have never met, I feel like I know a bit of her and would like to sit and talk with her for an hour or three.
We share common thoughts, fears, ideas and hopes for the future. It is refreshing to listen to her voice.
But here is one thought that has been in my mind the last few days as I have sat at my laptop and feasted on her rich, eloquent writing; I don't know her at all.
I mean, sure, her thoughts have been laid bare for me to read, just as I lay my thoughts out for you. She has posted pictures of friends and family, written cute stories about them all, just as I do for you, and she has shared her pain and sorrow as well as the common everyday joys of life, just like I do on my blog. Yet, even as I read the almost two years worth of posts, I come away with only a fraction of the picture of who this person really and truly is, much as you, who come here and read my pitiful stabs at profundity don't always have a true concept of who I really am. If you know me in the real world, perhaps you have a better understanding, but even then, I am more than the person you read here everyday.
There is so much more to my life than this blog. I am multi-layered, with emotions that are sometimes easy but most of the time hard to explain or rein in. I experience joy and laughter and true happiness on a daily basis. I also have sadness in my heart and scars from the past and there are tragic things that happen around me as well. I believe it is called being human. Some days are good, some days are bad, kinda like your life I would suppose. I say this with all the sincerity I can muster at 11:30 PM, but just because you read me, just because you get a glimpse into my psyche, just because I slip the door open a crack and let you peep into my life...you don't really know me, not all about me.
I almost made this blog private a few weeks ago. Some of you faithful readers were even sent an email about that fact; but I re-thought that decision. Someone in my life presumed to know me, the inner workings of my soul and brain and emotions and relationships completely based on things read here and promptly taken out of context. This made me want to hide my blog from the world. I was hurt, I was mad, I was taken aback. To presume to know my life and my circumstances from this blog and to make concrete blatant statements based on that presumption is ludicrous.
I am honest. I am transparent. I am forthright with my feelings. I try not to sugarcoat my life and I certainly concede that there are posts that are bone deep in emotion and perhaps a bit of drama and romanticism. But it is my spot in the world to be that way...I am not going to let one person shut me down.
Several factors have brought all of this up to the surface once again as I was truthfully not going to mention it further. But after reading the new blog on my reader list, hearing her voice, her raw emotion and realizing almost too late that I was starting to make broad statements about who this person is and what her life is about, I caught myself and realized I don't want anyone doing that to me and I should not presume anything about the blogger.
This blog is about my life, about my thoughts and my struggle to find the happy moments in life, BUT it is NOT ALL of my life, NOT ALL of my thoughts or my struggles to find the happy moments.
I hope you continue to read and I hope you continue to find happy moments in your own life and most of all I hope you read what you read here with a grain of salt...not everything is always as it seems!
WYSIWYG - "What You See Is What You Get"...popular for computer software, but not necessarily for this blogger!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev
3 comments:
Even your closest family and friends can't really know who you are deep down inside where only you and your Maker are aware of what transpires... not just you either , but ALL of us. There is more to most of us than anyone who thinks they know us could guess.
Keep on sharing; we'll keep on reading and we will all learn valuable lessons from the sharing. You are a pretty neat gal with some pretty good ideas to share!!
If some one reads more into what you wrote than you intended, that's THEIR problem, NOT yours!!
Your ancient friend across the river
Thank you! I am just going to brush it off and continue on...I think I have finally reached an age where I am not so concerned about the thoughts and conjectures of others on things in my world! It just slays me that even I can't figure me out most of the time, but someone who talks to me about once or twice a year seems to have such a clear vision!
Your encouragement is much appreciated.
And by the by -- I have some great friends "across the river" but none of them are "ancient", some of the tribe might be a bit "grumpy" but you are definitely not ancient - only wise! :-)
I totally get what you mean! I'm a fairly open person, I share a lot. But many, including those closest to me, often assume that that is ALL of me. Those from my origins often make the mistake of assuming that I've not learned life lessons along the way that have taught me to hold something back. To hold the precious stuff precious.
Having said that, I think I've also learned (am learning?) that I can't control that and if they assume wrongly, it's my choice how to react (or not!) to that. See my Conversation in the Intersection. Which, by the way, set off a series of events that reminded me all too harshly, that I haven't learned that lesson as well as I'd like to by now. :)
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