Here's A Glimpse Into My Soul...Look Quickly...

EVENING SOLACE
by: Charlotte Bronte (1816-1855)

The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;--
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.

And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riots fly,
While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.

But there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.

Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly back--a faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others' sufferings seem.

Oh! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie!

And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress--

Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven
Seeking a life and world to come


I love this poem. I have a bit of it posted permanently on this site, over there... below my picture.

If you have read this blog for any length of time, you know that I, as do probably many of you, wage a war to stay at peace with my past. I don't think I am different from anyone else,I just happen to be a blogger and tend to spill my "emotional" guts every now and then. Sometimes this gets me into trouble, people tend to read into my words, over analyze my sentiments and probably some want to rush to get the men in the little white coats to come and take me away. I promise, from the bottom of my heart that I am not on the verge of some disastrous breakdown, I have a relatively good life, great friends and family and there is no need to be concerned.

That said, the past week or so has had me traveling down an emotional road that I had never wanted to travel again -- EVER!!!

It is with great joy that I tell you that I am past that particular "road trip" now. I even managed to keep it off the blog and only my dearest friends knew how freaked out I was last week. It was a process I had to work through, and thankfully, I did and actually did it quite quickly and even mostly alone,which both surprised and delighted me.

This poem reminded me of that process. The poet speaks of past suffering and memories of that suffering that have been calmed by the passing of time. I have always hated the phrase "time heals all wounds." To me, is not accurate at all, I think love heals the wounds, but time helps to smooth out the scars.

As I was forced to "revisit" a painful time in my emotional past, I was pleased to find that my scars from that long ago time are smoothed out, that love has healed the wounds and the one person that could make the pain really subside, has already worked hard for the past two years to do all that can be done in that regard. It made me thankful for the way life is now, and even in a strange way for the way it was back then.

I am happy to be living in this moment of time, to not dwell on the hurt and scars of the past and to look forward to all the happy moments yet to come. There are "secrets, thoughts, hopes, dreams, and pleasures kept secret in my heart," and just like the above poet, I am finding as the years go by and the secrets surface for whatever reason, it is only joy I feel and not the blinding pain that they once held.

If you are reading this and can relate to it in any way, I wish the same bit of peace for you.

Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev