Content?

I am here again...in the writer's block spot! There is a desperate need in me to write, but for some reason, there is nothing bubbling to the surface...yet!

Trying to break this wretched situation I took a look back at my posts from last year at this time, they are all about Fall and Fall type activities. Reading them made me realize how busy my life has gotten since then. I was a part-time preschool teacher, I had a few days a week all to myself for shopping or lunch with friends while my little one was in pre-k. I meandered the sales racks and spend long hours sitting in Panera writing. I had time to do housework and revel in decorating the house for fall. And my Saturdays were spent strolling through art festivals and car shows and even a rodeo.

Tonight, in my "not as clean as it ought to be" house, as I sit and look at the heap of laundry in the hampers and rub my aching feet from wearing "not as comfortable as I would like" shoes all day I am wondering "is my life better or worse now than last year or is it just different?"

I think it is just different. I could sit and moan and groan about going back to work...but actually, it was my choice and it is still technically part-time. I could whine over the loss of shopping and visiting time, but truthfully, the checkbook is happier and the one friend I wanted the most to carve out time for is not as available to me now anyway. I could wring my hands in desperation that the housewife that lives inside me is being squashed and deprived of her ambition, but really, I think we all know that housework is not my passion in life.

So, I look at last year, and then gaze at this year through my oh, so, sleep deprived eyes and realize that life may be busier, every second of the day is squeezed for all it is worth, but the quality of time spent with my daughter has not been affected, the time spent with the ones most important to me, although not as frequent, is still cherished and given priority in my schedule, and I still have at least one day a week to do some of that shopping and lunching, so life is different, not bad different, just different.

I have learned to be content...to savor the moments in a whole new way and for that lesson alone, tonight as I head off to an early bedtime, I am thankful from the bottom of my heart.

Living Happily In the Moment!
Bev