If The Previous Post Made You Wonder...Here Is An Answer!

So I have been pondering...bet you all want to know what that post meant don't you? Yeah? Well, I am not telling...hahaha! It is pretty self explanatory, I think, although what you may wonder most is who I am talking about...and believe me , you who think you know...are WRONG!

That was a little "poem" I wrote, to myself, about ...myself.

I find that more and more I am closing ranks on who gets close to me, I find that I am tightening the grip on the ones that I speak with, the friends that mean the most to me, the ones who need me the most. I have always been one who had lots of friends...these days I only have a few in my world that I can count on and truthfully can count on me. The friendships that have ebbed from my life by my own choice have left that cold and cavernous spot. I wish I could explain it, make sense out of the turn in my personality. I used to want to be surrounded by friends, now, it just seems to zap my energy. I have built some HUGE walls, some days I feel like they might crumble down, sometimes I feel like I need to build them higher. Even as I wrote the poem, it felt like I was asking someone else why THEY left...when in fact, I was just asking myself...I am the one who has left the most.

Perhaps I am just older and wiser, learning to keep my own counsel or maybe life is just taking a different turn for me. I don't know, I just know that I when I wrote that poem to myself, I wanted to remind myself that I am the one, me, moi, it is I that has built the wall and shielded my life from some folks I love and miss on a daily basis. I am the builder of the wall and only I can take it down. I am trying to evaluate my life...it is a period of reflection...desiring to make the most of my time here on earth, with the ones I love the most!

Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev