The Journey of a Lifetime

I love calendars. I always have. I remember in high school carrying a pocket calendar in my purse. My best friend and I would keep track of important dates, like first dates, first kisses, good hair days, you know... all the important high school stuff. I wish I had them all now. I would give anything to know the exact date that Charlie Waters wore that great pair of jeans and a new club among us girls was formed or when exactly we heard the song "And I Ran" by Flock of Seagulls for the first time.

Even now, I keep a calendar on the side of my fridge and I try and record as much of our daily life on it as I can. Consequently, I know the date my child first crawled, walked and talked. It is a handy tool!

I was glancing at the calendar today and realized that not only has time traveled on since last October 13th, but I am a totally different person.

On the outside not much has changed...even my closest friend might be able to tell much difference in me, but when I lay my head down at night...I know.

It has been a year of reflection for me. Searching my heart, my mind, my choices and decisions. I have been given a rare opportunity to re-visit some of the defining moments in my life throughout this year as I have wandered down a path full of sentiment and memory sometimes fraught with the stones of bitterness and regret. I have stumbled, I have faltered, I have cried and stomped my foot, not wishing to go on, wanting to stay in a particular spot, to not move on and see what the road ahead holds for me. I have wanted to stop time, even wishing to turn it back a notch or two.

I have discovered I am weak, but yet, I do possess a strength that has allowed me pick myself up and continue walking, even until I have reached the point I am at today. I have discovered that life is not simple, it is complicated, the layers are many and the answer that was right yesterday, may not be right for today,or even for tomorrow.

I have learned a lot about my faith. Honestly, there has been a faith crisis going on and I although I don't really think it is over, I have gotten to a new place in that particular journeyand I am looking forward to what is ahead.

I have learned that love can last a lifetime, I always knew that one...but I have also learned that the human heart has a great capacity for love. It is possible to love and love again. It is possible to forgive and press forward. It is also possible to have the scar on your heart torn open and then it is even possible to have it heal up better than it ever did before.

I have learned to judge less, pray more, love harder, and forgive, forgive forgive myself and others.

It was just a date on a calendar, but last year it started a journey for me that I didn't even know I wanted to take, didn't know I could take. The changing is not over, the journey is continuing and although I had no idea last year that a trip of a lifetime had started for me, now I know, and now I am holding on, looking forward to the ride!

Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev