Sometimes I like to start off these posts, pretending like we are sitting down to coffee or a Coke and chatting face to face. Today is one of those days for me.
I am having a hard day. Nothing really wrong, nothing really upsetting, just a day when I am feeling a bit out of sorts and I want to sit and talk and forget about my troubles for a while.
The holidays were merry and bright around here...I cannot complain for a minute about my time off, here at home, with my child and husband, with friends, with family.It was ALL great. Even my poor unkempt house and the pretty, though sparse decorations aren't worth enough of a complaint. Maybe I am just in the doldrums because the time is drawing near when school and work will once again impose a schedule and routine on our day and life will resume. Whatever my reason for the Saturday sadness, I sure wish it would go away.
I read this post by Beth Moore on New Year's Day and I cannot get it off my mind.
I feel like I have not seen God in 2009. I know He was there, I am certain I saw His hand print a time or two (probably would have seen it more, if I had been looking with clearer eyes) but seeing Him, feeling close to Him...no, I cannot say that I had that in 2009. Like Moses in the cleft of the rock, I saw His back. Most of the time, to be quite honest, it felt as if He was moving past and away from me. But in my spirit, I know this is not the case. I know He was indeed just forging the way ahead for me and allowing me to hang onto His neck (like a ballet dancer) being dragged into the next day, and the next and now this year. I also realize, like Beth Moore says, that perhaps it was He who put me in the cleft to shelter and shadow me rather than a darker force at work in my world. Maybe the struggles I encountered were not for my unhappiness, but rather to keep me safe.
Go, read her post...she is MUCH more eloquent than I. I am sure it will give you pause to ponder, just as it did me. It is such a beautiful picture of how He cares for me, you, US...in the midst of our pain, sorrow, despair and hopelessness. I have been there this past year...I am still holding onto His back even now...but I know that soon, very soon...I will be able to see His face.
I am hoping the same for you!
Living Happily in the Moment!
Beverly
3 comments:
thanks for sharing the link, bev. that was good stuff!
I know I say this a lot, but the last 11 posts (you've been pretty prolific on your holiday break!) were good stuff. Good. STUFF.
I'm with ya on the mixed feelings of 2009. A hard year full of change and adjustment. A good year of living with our little dream girl. A hard year of relationships shifting. A good year of building memories and investments in my immediate family.
I'm exceedingly grateful for the chance to review the past year, but also to let it go. I'm really praying for 2010 to be a year of breakthrough for myself, my family, and those I love. That now includes you. Which is another reason I loved 2009 - it brought me a new friend in you :)
Hugs, my friend. And maybe, just maybe 2010 will be the year we meet in person to hug each other's neck and laugh together over our silly twin-ness. . . :)
Love you! And Happy New Year!
Thank you my twin!I am wishing the same thing..I want a girls weekend with you so badly!! Happy,Happy!
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