I Miss Them Most At Christmas!

I miss them most at Christmas.

I miss the warmth, the decorating, the fun and laughter. I miss the good moods, the gifts, the joy of just being together. I miss Christmas caroling and little pizzas made on little bagels served off a ping pong table in the "new room" with everyone sitting everywhere, eating and laughing. I miss the private jokes, the sarcastic banter, and ever the teasing. I miss the smaller group times, the dinners, hot chocolate by the fire and most of all I miss feeling like I was known and loved by people I knew and loved.

I miss it a lot. More often than not. Sometimes I wish I was still a part. But then I remember how the family of friends we had built, turned us out, cut us off and haven't spoken to us since.

Christmas is hard for many reasons this year, but I had a dream last night that I was back there again...and I woke up this morning and missed our old church group. It was the "it hurts to breathe" kinda hurt. I guess never again will we be a part of a group of friends such as that, and it is good and bad news for us. Good because even with all the fun, it was an unhealthy group, even though it was church! Bad because even through the bad times, it was a connection to a group of people that I don't think I will ever have again.

The silver lining in my cloud this morning is that we are still very close with a handful of courageous friends who banded together with us and remain our friends to this day. I am thankful for them and happy to hear from them anytime -- especially at Christmas. We were all wounded by the former group and it's leaders, we have similar scars, but we still laugh when we are together and remember the good times together from that far away time and the memories we have forged since around our own fireside!!

Merry Christmas to Jamie, Hope and Tony and Lisa - we thank our God upon all our remembrances of you!

Living Happily in the Moment!
Bev