Seems Just Like It Was Yesterday...

Just an ordinary day, just an ordinary road trip.

It was a trip I have made hundreds of times in my life, across my state, through one other and halfway through the next one. I could do the drive in my sleep.


This Tuesday drive was different. This trip was completely different. I felt like we were traveling a road that we had never seen before, that the hours were dragging by and flying past all at the same time. We were on the road to parenthood. Our hoped for child would be born in less than twenty-four hours and we were hurrying to be there on time. It was surreal.
I wish I could adequately sum up the feelings that were going through my mind that day. We had our car packed to the roof, we had our sweet old dog Jake snoozing in the back and we were being followed by my parents in their car. I remember being excited, the thought that parenthood was finally upon us was exhilarating. I remember being nervous, after all this child would not know us, not know the sound of our voices, we would be strangers. Would we be able to comfort and soothe the newborn cries? I remember being so sad that our daughter’s birthmom had to make this decision. I remember thinking how bittersweet that day must have been for her. I knew from speaking with her that she was looking forward to having the process over with the next day, but at the same time, it was the last day she had that sweet baby with her. I remember being scared that even though all seemed well, nothing seemed to indicate that the placement would not go through, there was still a thought in my head that my hubby and I could be heading for certain heartbreak and bringing our family and friends right along with us for the ride. It felt a bit overwhelming.

So many thoughts and fears, so much love, so many moments anticipated, it was a ride that I will never forget.

I remember arriving at our destination, unpacking and just sitting on the bed, shaking with all of these emotions racing through me. I remember eating Kentucky Fried Chicken through the lump in my throat, counting down the hours until 5:00 AM the next day, when we would make one last trip, to a hospital to await the birth of a little girl.   


I wrote that post three years ago. I decided to re-run it this morning, seven years after the birth of that little baby girl...who is now sweetly sleeping in her bed tonight, thoughts of her soon to come birthday party drifting in her head.

We were so blessed seven years ago and each year on the days leading up to her birthday I cannot help but  remember and be grateful and re-visit all the emotions of that time of our lives.

Happily,
Beverly