I Just Want You To Know Who I Am!

I see you.

Oh, don't apologize, I do it too. It is fun to read about others, gaze at pictures, try and read between the lines of a life lived out in a blog. It is part of our nature, we are curious beings. We just can't help ourselves. I will open the door for you. Step inside, soak it all in, be brave, it is not a journey for the foolhardy. You will find lots of things here and what you find, I hope you will like and that it will cause you to come back and visit again and again.

I am just a woman. I live a fairly simple life. You will find happiness here, you will find joy and abiding love. There is a home and a family and a little girl that lights up our life. You will also find pain. The pain of loss, the pain of longing, the pain of love. You will see that I am the sum of all my years, that along with my happiness, the love, loss and the mistakes of the past are still with me. They have never left my side. There is a reunion here, happy times with friends and loved ones, love lost and found again and again. It is all here. There are paintings and books and coffee. There are recipes and poems and analogies for the difficult circumstances of life. I love deeply, fiercely and completely. If nothing else, here you will learn what it is like to love someone with your whole heart, to love them for a lifetime.

Life would not be worth living without music, and there is music here, lots of music. Music surrounds me, builds me up, plays through the pain and parties long into the night with happiness. I can't escape it and if you read here for long, neither will you. There are the songs of my childhood, nursery rhymes and gospel sounds and songs from other cultures, remnants of a life growing up as the only child of a preacher and an Army brat. You will hear the songs of the 80's, when I was in high school and finding out about life and love for the first time. You will hear classical pieces, songs I grew to love as a piano student. You will hear the sounds of the lullabies sung in the night to babies not born and finally to the one that came later, who can now sing those same songs back to me. There will be some "Fire and Rain," some Journey tunes, some classic rock. If you listen closely you will hear some new songs playing, songs that maybe the world doesn't know yet, but I do and they live in my home and play beside all the other classics in my collection.

Oh and yes, that beat that you searched for...it is here. But don't stop the search at that one word for you will have to look harder than that. Pay attention and you will find it. You will hear the rhythm, for it exists in and throughout my writing. It is undeniable. It is inspiration for my writing, always has been and always will be!

You will learn about failure here, about struggles and life lessons learned the long and hard way. I am not perfect and I struggle with my choices on a daily basis. I find myself stepping into holes more often than climbing the heights of life's accomplishments. You will see that I have dark and dreary days, days that cause me to cry and cringe and sit and write out my heart's contents. I am dramatic, overly romantic most of the time and sometimes create chaos in my mind when there is none in reality. I try to find balance, to search for those happy moments I so want to dwell in. This blog chronicles my life and it is so far, quite the journey.

I am probably a lot like you; love my family, love my dogs, love television, movies and love to laugh, a lot. I get lonely and I get sad and most of the time I am too vulnerable and open for my own good, but at the end of the day I find I have more happiness than sadness and I sleep through a peaceful night.

I am not worthy of it, put I am so happy to have had two loves in my life. It makes me proud to look back and know that through it all, love has remained and will always remain. It is truly the strongest force in this life. I have tried to break its bonds but this past year has taught me that it is a useless waste of energy. I now just embrace it gladly and rest in thankfulness for its presence in my life.

I don't know if I answered all of your questions, feel free to search more if I haven't. My life is written on this site, most of the answers to me and why I do the things I do and feel the way I feel are here and maybe, if you look close enough, you will find clues to those I love on this site too.

Dig around, ask away, make a comment or send me a message. I am an open book.

Thanks for reading. Come back anytime, and don't be such a stranger next time.

Living Happily In the Moment
Bev