Blue Skies...

"You're my blue sky, You're my sunny day...."

Blue Sky by the Allman Brothers Band has been sifting through my mind all day. I haven't heard it in...years (probably) but the radio reminded me of it today and for the first time in days (months, years?) I smiled at a song memory.

Since Danny died, I usually just listen to talk radio because it seems like every other song has a memory attached. It is hard to be with someone for 28 years and not have those song memories; or tv memories; or movie memories; or food memories... basically -- memories! :-) Ha! Ha!

Danny loved the Allman Brothers, we traveled once to the Big House in Macon-- just to say we had been where some of his favorite songs were written.  Eat a Peach - he loved that album.  He loved the song Blue Sky. He would sing it a lot when we were traveling or walking on a pretty day.  Holding my hand, squeezing it when that next line started..."Lord, you know it makes me high, when you turn your love my way'.... it is such a great memory.  I needed it preserved tonight.  Blue skies, his blue eyes, blue hydrangeas in bloom on my porch. I just smiled when I wrote all of that!

Yesterday I was certified as a Mental Health First Responder, and to that I also add that I am a Suicide Prevention Advocate, although that carries no paper certification.

As a Mental Health First Responder, I am able to help someone in crisis until appropriate professional support arrives. I am not a counselor. Think - CPR first responder, except for mental illness. I am able to help someone who is experiencing an anxiety attack, depression or a manic episode. I've been trained to help if someone is exhibiting signs of suicide or self harm. I am certified to help in early intervention and to help guide the person or family/friends to appropriate professional supports.

I did this for several reasons. The obvious one is that I lost my husband to death by suicide 6 months ago. There were signs, I knew of his desire to end his life, I tried to help, I reached out to people to help me, I got help for him, or so I thought. Lord help me - I did everything I knew to do - and yet, he prevailed in his desire to end his life.  I wish I knew everything I learned yesterday, this time last year. I don't know if it would have made a difference, but it might have. I did what I knew to do, I sleep at night knowing that I tried everything I knew to do. It is little comfort.

Yesterday, I received tools that I can use to help someone else. Maybe the person, maybe their spouse, or child, or parent. I confidently know the best route to take. If I can participate in someone getting to the help that leads them to hope and recovery, it will have been worth it.

The ultimate hope is the Lord. The ultimate key to recovery is the Lord. We must pray for people who are experiencing mental illness or who deal with substance use disorder. Pray, pray, pray. And then ACT, ACT, ACT. God equips us to be His hands and feet on this earth. Sitting by and watching someone with mental or substance use disorders is wrong. It is the opposite of compassion and the things that the Lord asks of all of us. I believe it grieves our Lord. We must follow His example and reach out to those who are hurting. Reach out and try...

I would love to talk to anyone who is interested in what I have learned.

I would love to listen to you if you need to talk to someone about things in your life. I don't have all the answers, but I have ears to listen, hands to help and a heart that desires for no one else to travel this road alone. I'm here. I'll walk beside you.

My blue eyed, sweet, sensitive, kind, caring, generous, hardworking, devoted husband, the greatest daddy who ever loved a little girl, was lost in a sea of mental illness and substance use disorder. He fought and lost the battle. But I'm still out here fighting...and today I heard him singing Blue Sky in my ear....and felt him squeezing my hand.  What a good Wednesday!

Living Happily in the Moment!
~Bev
#fire&rain
#restored