Ten Months

Ten months ago today one storm ended and another began.

So many things in my brain about that day, the images are frighteningly close and vivid.
I can't speak of all of them yet. One day... one day.

But I can speak of a few. I can still see the face of kind hospital staff. Early morning talks and gentleness spread over me like a blanket. I can see the hospital courtyard, the long hall and lobby, feel the sunshine I hadn't felt in days and my friend Lisa... and the rest of the 6 on the telephone...with me through it all.

I see a hotel room... feel the hot water in that shower, the cool sheets on that bed. The best pizza to have ever been made came in the door. Sitting on that bed, eating that pizza off a napkin will forever taste a bit like heaven to me. Sleep-- oh the sleep of that night. I hadn't sleep in probably eight months, certainly not for the past three nights, life had been filled with such turmoil. But now that he was finally still and resting and all his anguish and chaos was over...I finally got to sleep too.

My friends took over. Paid for me, got me home, took care of me, thought of all the things I couldn't, protected me from those who would hurt me. Brought food, brought toilet paper, changed light bulbs, drove me and Hannah where we needed to be. Went to appointments with me, sat with me, cried with me, laughed with me, joked with me, yelled with me, wore outfits to make sure they were ready to fight for me. I will NEVER forget it. Each detail is written on my heart. I am like Mary - pondering it all  - keeping it all safe. 

You see, it was the little things. I think I always want to see the BIG things God does for me. And granted - there are some pretty BIG things that He did during all that time. But what stands out for me today, ten months from the dark day, what stands out is the little things. Things that people have no idea would mean much --- the candy and a Coke in the back of the car. The ceiling fans being dusted. The meal cooked. The listening to my tale,over and over again. It all adds up to some mighty BIG things. 

I hope I can pay it back or forward or just at all. I still feel so incredible weak and frail and sometimes the giving of myself to someone is too much for me. I hope God works me through that feeling. I want to bless and I have been blessed.

You know who you are  - I hope you see something of yourself in the above paragraphs. You guys are my rock...I am forever grateful.