Happy in the Moment...again!

Been a year.
Saturday was the 1 year anniversary of his funeral.
The grave marker is in place, I put flowers there and had a long talk with - him? The Lord?... maybe both...someone was listening, of that I am sure. 
I said goodbye!

After that.... I cleaned my house like a mad woman. Got rid of stuff, cleared cobwebs - both figuratively and literally and made all the corners clear again. A year is enough time to grieve someone who wanted to leave. A year is enough of my life to mourn what could have been. I'm ready to embrace the future.

I'm ready to move on... I've moved on!

Today I feel like Beverly Riley. Daughter of Robert and Betty. Someone I used to know. I actually wrote my name on a credit card slip yesterday and it came out Beverly Riley. I used to love to decorate, fix up my home, listen to music, sing, play the piano, laugh, take joy in the little things, cook, invite people over, make other people happy, do the extra things. I haven't wanted to do those things in....years!

So, this weekend I've redecorated some spaces in my home, played a few hymns on the piano, helped decorate for a fall festival and yesterday I cooked for someone and made my home nice for company and loved every minute of it!

This morning, I looked around my house and realized it was finally just MY house. Well, mine and Hannah's.  But it feels good. I feel like I've run a marathon or bench pressed 200 lbs. I feel new - well, like my old self - but new and improved. The calendar page flipped over, the time changed, and there I was. Scrubbed clean, painful memories packed away, laughter ringing in the air at my house.

My child walked into the kitchen this morning and just smiled at me. She's fifteen -- that doesn't happen often... she smiled and said I looked happy. She is right. For the first time in a long time, I am happy. Not searching for an answer, not weighed down by the what ifs, just happy ---- in THIS moment,  LIVING, SMILING and LAUGHING in this moment.

Thank you Lord for all your goodness. I feel unworthy and joyful all at the same time.

Sometimes the broken road does lead to a great place!

Marked Happy in The Moment!
~beverly